Two birds

One stone, that's all it took. The saying usually involves completing multiple tasks with one simple action, not actually hitting two birds with a rock you found. I didn't mean to do it, I was just aggravated. Earlier that day I was fired from my job, one I had been at for years. All for a simple mess up that anyone could do, how many people have you heard of crashing their own car into their place of work? Look, I had a few drinks the night before and needed something to get me going that morning. But even before that their presence was haunting me, those two crows. A few short from a murder, unlike myself who is now getting prosecuted for killing 5 people. Those birds had been following me that whole day from the moment when I awoke, when I drank, and to when I was in handcuffs. I remember sitting in my crashed car before the cops had arrived, still drunker than an Irish stereotype. My cracked rear view displayed them on the telephone lines just cawing to themselves. Their laughter was haunting my every move, my own little sitcom audience for my amazing life.

The cops took me to the town jail and locked me up nice and good, didn't treat me the best either but I can't blame them. I was held for a few days until someone could pay my bail, lucky for me my parents are loaded. The shame they had in their eyes, I thought I was used to it but this was much worse. Disgust, full blown disdain for the creature they called a son. Worst part, they didn't say anything to me, not a single word. Just came to pay the bail and left, didn't even offer me a ride. I was at my all time low, little did I know the camel's back was still waiting for the straw. Before I knew it, the laughter returned. The cawing of midnight vultures while they perched on their throne of cable, red blurred my vision. Picking up a rock, I hurled it at the telephone poll hoping to scare them off. Maybe I should have been a pitcher for some big baseball team because I obliterated not one, but both of those laughing beaks. I wish I could say I immediately regretted it, but in truth I was ecstatic. My first win in days, getting rid of those stupid birds.

Walking over to the corpses of the now not breathing crows, I was immediately made known to their strange appearance. Both beaks were curved into smiles, seeming happy for their fate. It almost looked as if they were staring at me, but I knew that wasn't possible. A little freaked out, I decided to celebrate my one stroke of luck with more liquor. Before I could order a ride home, It returned. Laughter then rang in my ear, laughter of something that couldn't, two entities that were just pelted with a stone. Turning around at the speed of light, I confirmed that the midnight seagulls were still there. I searched the scene as the laughter grew louder and louder, a deafening swarm of caws and chuckles. Nothing, no birds were present. Not just them but people, then cars, and now buildings. I was being engulfed in an impenetrable darkness, the laughter being the only thing reminding me I'm still alive.

I started to change, feathers, unending feathers poured from my skin. Lips hardened and stretched into a beak, one as crooked as those birds. My arms became massive wings, becoming longer than I was tall. The laughter only got worse as the mutation advanced, I couldn't help but laugh myself. All at once the world came back to me in the form of two headlights. As quickly as I had come out of my pitch black hysteria, I was forced back into another one. I wish I could regale you with a pleasant dream, one that let me escape the madness. But all I dream about since the incident is the image of a clear blue sky near a police office, unable to move my shattered body. The surrounding area drowned out by my own laughter and nothing else.

When I awoke, it was in a hospital bed. My body was back to normal. Family was nowhere to be found, trying to move my head to scan the room was fruitless. My whole body was paralyzed, the only thing I could do was blink and barely move my hand. Apparently after I hit those birds I started hysterically laughing and at the first sight of an oncoming semi, I threw myself in its path. The doctors look at me with sadness and contempt, they know of my horrid misdeeds but sympathize with my condition. They told me how I was most likely never gonna be able to move again and how in their many attempts to reach out to my parents, they refused to come and see me. They did pay for my medical bills, but it was bare minimum at best. No physical therapy to aid my broken state, just enough to keep me breathing. My punishment for my sins I suppose. But hey, it's not all bad, at least now I get to be cared for right? A few months later I was sentenced to 5 counts of life. I still get aid, it's inconvenient and I'm mostly left to my imagination but I get it non or less. The fact I'm able to write this is mostly due to my cell mate who was previously found guilty for the many plagiarized school books she made to sell to college students. Fortunately I can still speak, even if it took some time for my jaw to heal. Per my request, an aid had shown me my reflection. I saw how poorly the bones healed, now a constant mangled smile is glued to my shattered image. The irony isn't lost on me.

I don't know why I feel the need to have my story written, maybe I can find others with my horrid luck. All I know is that in that accident I was punished for my sins, God's Golden stone was thrown at me, punishing me for my mishaps. Now I will lie in this prison mostly alone, next week my bunk mate gets released. From the very little I heard, they plan on moving me to a single cell closer to the aid's. Alone with my sins in the corner of hell. Still I hear it, the laughter of those birds. They echo in my head endlessly, doctors said there is nothing they could do to fix it since I had no money to my name. I fear I'm losing myself lately due to nonstop caws, endless reminders of my stupidity. One day my dreams will be no different from my days, laughter and an unmoving corpse I call a body. Staring at the sky helplessly waiting for the end. Maybe if I'm lucky, a meteor will hit my cell. Ending my fate like those two god forsaken birds.