Happy was He.

Happy was He.

Trigger Warning- this short story contains Death, and Mature themes.

Part 1- Life on Earth.

As tissue after filled tissue hit the floor, Matthew could not hide his grief any longer. He sat outside smoking a disgusting cigar, and it made him even sicker, so he cried even more. As he cried on, his grandmother’s funeral took place in another state, but he was too sick to go on the eleven to twelve hour drive all the way down to his favorite place on Earth- a beautiful place in Texas named Shang-ri-la.

The night of the funeral- there was vomiting, and diarrhea at the same time. Always something fun to clean up. Poor Matthew. The aches, and chills, and the night sweats were the worst, but all of his vomiting had set off his rare form of sleep apnea, and his insurance would no longer cover his CPAP machine as he could not bare to wear it for four hours a night. So, he made another round to the bathroom to vomit blood. What is happening? Blood? He thought. Then, peacefully, there were a few life flashes before he fell. He violently hit his head on a table on his way down before he began to bleed out all over the ground.

“Oxygen! I need my oxygen!” He cried out, and no one heard him.

Then his grandmother swiftly grabbed his hand, and she took him straight to Heaven where he met the Lord Jesus Christ.

“Do you believe?” Asked Jesus.

“Yes. I do.” Matthew said, terrified. He dare not say another word.

“Then come. Give me a hug, and you shall enter.”

Matthew did as told, and his grandmother was so pleased. As Matthew went up the stairs- he could hear the rest of his family cheering, and singing behind him as the followed him up towards the pearly gates. Then, Jesus said, “Wait. It’s time for your new body.” Then He gave one to him. Matthew was then enrobed in garments he could not believe.

“You can pick your mentor. Someone who can show you around… help you create your own little heavenly world even… something we like to do up here.” Said Jesus.

“What about restrooms? Toilet paper?” Matthew asked in a panic as he felt the urge to go.

“We don’t need that here, Matthew… perfect in every way.”

“Hmm? I thought I got a mansion and crown…”

“No need to be anxious here. No need.” Then the trumpets rang out. “See! Now take my hand. Let’s see what awaits for you.”

Matthew’s crown was covered in rubies. It was just as he had always pictured it. Something he had fought hard to earn. There was no need for keys to his mansion that would always stay clean for all he had to do was want to be there, and he was there. With the food always stocked, and, yes, the wine, too, Matthew never wanted to leave his beautiful mansion until he found out about his appointment with God. Grandmother showed up, and said,

“Your appointment is now. You can ask any question that you like.”

Part 2- God.

“Why insects? They tormented me on Earth.” Matthew asked.

“Why not?” God asked with a smile. He liked messing around with Matthew, and so did Satan for that matter. He was entertaining, and fun to be around. God kept him alive on Earth for as long as He felt necessary. “Fear not for did you ever get stung?”

“No.” For a moment, Matthew was stunned that He knew this.

“You’re welcome.”

“But I got bit so many times!”

Then God gave Matthew a glare that reminded him of his father. A glare that terrified Matthew. Don’t send me to Hell! Thought Matthew. Then God smiled-laughed even.

“I’m just messing with you.” He said.

“Am I safe here in Heaven?” Matthew naively asked God.

“Of course you are, my child, for I am with you?” God replied.

“But you were there with me on Earth where I got bit so many times!”

Part 3- Endings, and New Beginnings.

Matthew’s father always dreamed of being raptured, and he was still stranded on Earth with mom. She really did not care how she went, so long as it was peaceful. So, Matthew approached God again even though he did not have an appointment.

“Can today be the rapture on the planet Earth? I know you have many other planets to look after. I know that now, but I want to see my parents. So badly, yet I don’t want them to die.”

“Soon. Soon, my child.” Was His response.

That night, while the inhabitants of the soon-to-be new world slept, God thought about what Matthew had said, and without anyone’s prediction- He stomped His foot, and was instantly met in Heaven with millions. He took a deep breath, and He, and the Son, welcomed them in one by one.

When Matthew heard the news- which spread quite quickly- he met his parents at the gates. Happy was he. So happy to see all of his favorite people.

Part 4- Apocalyptic Ending.

As the four horsemen flew, all of Heaven took watch. Those stranded on Earth still had a chance to get into Heaven, but, sadly, most would not. They watched it play out as if it was the most intense film ever created where God would meet up with Satan on Earth at just the right time.

Part 5- Hell.

As the last person died on Earth, and went to Hell, the world crumbled, and vanished as all of Heaven watched. Then God stomped His foot, and even Hell vanished. That was easy. He thought. It was truly the end of billions of souls that had been lost since the beginning of time. Gone, just like the soulless dinosaurs, there were people in Hell who would be missed, and there were people who would not.

Part 6- The New World.

God likes to stomp His feet. They are massive, and clothed in golden slippers. So, He, stomped His foot again, and out of the pitch black, open space, a new world was created, and there would be a new beginning for all of His Heaven to reside.

“This time- no more insects.” Matthew requested, and God listened, and everyone lived happily ever after in their new bodies on their new planet where they all spoke the same language, and recognized each other, and there was grandmother. She always had the warmest smile. She hugged Matthew close.

“You helped create all of this.” She said, and then Matthew woke up.

Part 7- Scream!

Matthew snapped to with a scream while lying in a pool of warm blood on his porch. The blood spurted out of his nostrils as he tried to stand. Was it all a dream? Some sort of fairy tale? He thought in a panic. Then, poor Matthew, died on the front porch, and went straight back to a familiar place- Heaven.