Checks And Balances

Tim Webster was a miniature Hulk Hogan. As short as he was in stature that's how big he was in personality. Weathered from lots of hard miles on the road both in big-rigs and on motorcycles he was a true Marlboro Man. He was no stranger to shady activity in both his personal and professional life. Finding a “friend” at a local Key West bank was something he considered essential to navigating his sometimes sticky financial matters not uncommon to his brand of wheeling and dealing. He found that friend in Diana Zane. Diana had worked at the bank for little more than a year. She had moved from San Diego, CA to Key West in 1999. And, something that very few women can say, she found herself a husband in Key West by 2001. Diana had absolutely no banking experience but she got the job as a customer service rep because the manager who interviewed her thought that Diana looked like she was somebody who would show up in the morning. Yeah, the work ethic bar of Key West was not set very high. Just looking like you had it together enough to pull yourself in 5 days a week was enough, no experience necessary. Besides, banking was and is an on-the-job training gig.

Diana first met Tim when she opened his checking account. She could tell that he was somebody who had some very interesting stories to tell. Diana was a fan of interesting people, so too, was Diana's husband, John. It didn't take too long before Tim became a part of Diana and John's circle. That meant every now and then Tim was a guest at their dinner table, and sometimes meeting for drinks at Finnegan's Wake. Tim's passion was motorcycles. It was to the point that at one time he was president of one of the Detroit chapters of The Hell's Angels. Various and sundry shenanigans lead to Tim's friend Steve landing in a wheelchair for life. About 5 years ago, the two were sniffin' around in territory that was not part of their turf. The “lords of the manner” gave chase and managed to run Steve off the road. Tim got away, but did not escape survivor's guilt. Having more common sense than most characters who inhabit that lifestyle, Steve had a hefty health insurance policy that took care of his recovery and then some. It didn't hurt either that Steve's dad died about a year ago and that's when his inheritance ship came

in. That's when Tim decided that Key West might be worth checking out. That and to be in near-by proximity to his “bud” turned out to be a nice change of pace. Tim lived in Summerland Key. Steve lived in Big Pine with his girlfriend Natalie. Diana and John never met Steve or his girlfriend. But Tim made it clear that he didn't like Natalie. He thought she was a gold-digger. Other than that, life was just day after day in paradise. So, it was a day like any other at the bank. The tellers were busy changing money and counting counting counting. Diana had started the day off by opening a couple of checking accounts, nothing too taxing, just very routine. Then came a customer to her desk who requested a new debit card for her checking account. The customer's name was Patricia Felony. Her request was easily fulfilled by Diana simply filling out a form with Ms Felony's name, address, and account number. No problem, easy-peasy, Ms Felony would have her card within 10 business days. As soon as she left, Diana's phone rang. It was a customer requesting an order of checks. This too was very easy and routine. The customer's name was Steve Hanson, he lived at 428 Spoon Dr. Big Pine Key, FL. 33043 and his account number was 80840843206. Diana assured Mr. Hanson that he would have his checks within 10 business days. Hoo-Hum.

About 3 weeks later over drinks at Finnegan's Wake, Tim was bending the ears of Diana and John about the latest Steve and Natalie soap-opera. “I swear, that bitch is no good for Steve! He tells me that she is emptying out his bank account. He says to her “You are lying! You lying bitch! I don't believe you!” Steve says she acts like she doesn't know what he's talking about. I tell ya, the sooner he gets rid of her, the better!”

“Here's to true love,” said John as he raised his mug in toast making fashion. “Copy that now and forever,” chimed in Diana. It was just another day in paradise.

The following Monday promised to be like any other Monday. Those weekend party brain cob-webs needed to be swept aside. Then something out of the ordinary occurred. Sherri, the bank manager called Diana into her office.

“We have a bit of a situation this morning,” Sherri began.

“Oh, what kind of situation?” Diana was pensive.

“Well, about a week ago, one of our customer's called to alert us that withdrawals were being made from his account that he did not initiate. He said that he was missing about $9,000 from his account. So we had our security team trace the debit card number that was used to make the withdrawals. The card used to make those withdrawals was given to a customer who isn't the holder of that account. Looking further into the whole thing, it turns out that the person with the card is named Patricia Felony. Patricia Felony was issued this card about a month ago and Diana, your signature is at the bottom of the debit card request form. I am wondering if you have an explanation for all of this?” Diana was absolutely dumbfounded. She most definitely remembered that transaction, mainly because of the customer's name, Patricia Felony---spelled exactly the same as the word that is defined as a major crime. The irony of the moment was absolutely hilarious despite it being in conjunction with a rather serious situation.

“I would like to see the tape footage from that day,” was Diana's quick, thinking-on-her- feet response. “If I watch it maybe I can figure out how this happened. And if you have that copy of the debit card request that I submitted, maybe this can all be explained.”

“I was hoping you'd say all of that,” confirmed Sherri. “I have copies of two forms to show you and the tape is right here in front of me. Let's watch it right now together.” The tape was pretty straight forward. It showed Patricia Felony sitting at Diana's desk. One could see a back and forth exchange with Diana writing some information on a piece of paper. After this exchange Ms Felony got up to leave. Shortly after that Diana answered the phone on her desk. Again the tape showed her writing information on a piece of paper as she talked. After she hung up the phone, Diana left her desk for about 10 minutes. Once she came back, Diana took out two separate forms and using the pieces of paper from her recent customer interactions, she began transferring the information from her notes onto the official bank forms.

When Diana saw the part of the tape where she was talking on the phone, she yelled.

“That's it right there, that has to be what happened!”

“What? What do you mean?” Sherri probed for clarification

“You saw me talking on the phone? I remember that was a customer who needed some checks. That's who I was talking to on the phone. THAT'S the request form I need to see, the request for those checks. What is the name of the person who ordered the checks? That has to be the person whose account was hijacked? Show me THAT form first. With that, Sherri laid both the check and debit card request forms on the desk for Diana's viewing pleasure. Sure enough, there is was in black and white! The name on the check order form was Steve Hanson! The name on the debit card order was Patricia Felony! “So tell me,” Diana insisted. “Is it Steve Hanson who got ripped off?”

“Indeed it is,” confirmed Sherri. “Now Diana, I want you to take a look at the account numbers on the two forms. One shows Steve Hanson's account number to be 80840843206. That is all good,” assured Sherri. “But,” she continued. “The form for Patricia Felony's debit card says that her account number is ALSO 80840843206!”

“Oh my God,” Diana was flabbergasted. “How could I have made this kind of mistake? I am so so sorry, Sherri. I just don't know what to say!”

“Mistakes happen. They happen to all of us. The bank has insurance for this.

Mr. Hanson has already gotten his money back. Patricia Felony has been arrested. She figured out pretty quick that something wasn't right when she was making withdrawals and her account balance wasn't going down. So, instead of doing the right thing, and reporting it to us, she went to town to the tune of almost $9,000! She's gonna be doing some serious time. And Diana, for your peace of mind I want you to see this.” Sherri handed Diana a simple slip of paper. On it was written the account number of Patricia Felony 80840834206 and the account number for Steve Hanson 80840843206. Immediately it was clear how it all happened. The two account numbers were almost identical, which caused Diana to accidentally flip the 34 sequence in Patricia's account to 43 which connected it to Steve Hanson's account. “WOW!” I can not believe what kind of trouble two little numbers can cause,” Diana was humbled and blown away.

“It's part of the job,” reassured Sherri. “We all make mistakes. We just wanted to make sure that you didn't have any intent to do this, that you weren't “in-on-it”, so to speak. I am convinced of your innocence, Diana. You have nothing to worry about.” Diana's audible sigh of relief filled the room. Just another day in paradise.

The passing of two more weeks found Diana and John at Finnegan's Wake hanging out with Tim Webster. “Hey a funny thing happened,” Tim baited with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “You know, I told you about that chick Steve was hanging out with, the one who was scamming him out of his money. Well, he threw her ass out for good. Which is good riddance as far as I'm concerned. Oh she cried and cried and she kept denying it. He took away all the checks and debit cards he had given her, and literally threw her out on to the street. But the kicker to the story is, that after she was gone, money was still disappearing from his account. Well then Steve called the bank. And you are not gonna believe this Diana, but it turns out that some dumb ass from your bank made some kind of mistake. I don't know the exact details of what went down, but somebody ended up with a debit card that was connected to Steve's account and damn near bled it dry! Can you believe that shit? Steve's chick was telling the truth.”

Hiding the hideous level of her embarrassment as best she could, Diana asked “Tim, just out of curiosity, what is Steve's last name? You never did say.”

“Hanson, Steve's last name is Hanson”

“Hanson? Hmm,...... seems like I heard something about somebody with that name.”