The Lost Ball

THE LOST BALL

This is a story about a golf ball , plain and simple a golf ball, and it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with a next door neighbour of mine in suburban Toronto, a sweetheart of a man by the name of Harry Feldman, a retired high school English teacher and probably the most passionate and knowledgeable lover of Shakespeare on the planet.. He could come up with a related quote from any one of the Bard’s plays at the drop of a hat any time the opportunity arose in a conversation and paraphrase it to fit the subject. Then he’d put the icing on the cake by adding the act and scene. His memory was incredible.

But that was not his only great passion. That is aside from his wife ,two married daughters and three adult grand children, Harry got deeply connected to something else. It was as if he had contracted an incurable but non fatal disease. A disease—like Herpes -- a disease called “THE GAME OF GOLF”. He caught the bug when he was only 16 years old and lived with it for the next 75 years. So if you do the math this brings us up to Harry’s 91st birthday and that’s where our golf ball saga begins.

The phone rang in the Feldman’s apartment. Harry’s wife Molly answered. “Hi, oh Sam how are you Sam? Good Good — Well I don’t know. it’s his birthday you know so

I'm not sure —you need to ask him. Harry its Sammy “, she yelled. “ He wants to talk to you about playing today.”

So before I get into the guts of this narrative i need to tell you something. Sam Abrams and another senior Moe Flax, both retired are Harry’s two best friends and long time golf playing buddies. They play golf every Tuesday as a threesome, welded together in a companionship as powerful as that of the three musketeers, — and I mean they play every Tuesday without exception — unless the weather is bad. “GOLF ON TUESDAYS WITH HARRY, SAM AND MOE”

So where were we? Oh yeah, Molly hands Harry the phone. “High Sammy what’s up?" Sam answers, “Harry if you’re feeing o.k how would you like to play nine holes today. I know that it’s Friday not Tuesday but it’s your birthday and it will be me and Moe’s pleasure to pay your green fees as a birthday gift. This will be an extra bit of fun for all of us. , so allow us that pleasure— That is if you are up to it.” “

Now The reason for Sam’s concern about Harry “feeling o.k. “and being “up to it” is understandable as Harry has been battling prostate cancer for the past 9 months and the drugs and radiation treatments have taken its toll on his well being. The latest prognosis is not good.

Harry hesitates a moment and says to Sam “ What’s the weather like today.?” and Sam responds, “Harry it looks good until about 2 this afternoon when the forecast is for rain , so we can easily squeeze in our 9 holes if we tee off at 10;30 . And Harry I’ve already made a tentative reservation at the Harvest Green course for that exact tee time. We’ll play the back nine”. Harry, holding one hand over the phone, looks at Molly and asks, “What do you think toots, is it o.k. with you if I join the boys and play nine holes today? Does it mess up any plans you made? “ Molly moved close to Harry put her arms around his neck, gave him a kiss and in a tender voice just above a whisper says, “Sweetheart this is your day and your life and it pleases me to see you go out with the boys and play. And then leaning down to get close to the phone in Harrys hand says in a loud voice,” Did you hear that Sam?” And then before hanging up Harry adds, “ I am given to play and know how tender it is to love the wife that lets me. — Lady Macbeth Act 1 scene 7.” Well that settled that.

Fast forward to 10:30 at the golf course. The three Musketeers are standing on the 10th Tee ready to tee off. There is no group in front of them and no group behind them either. This is quite unusual but understandable as the guys were advised by the starter that the earlier weather forecast for showers had been updated to a severe thunderstorm and was on its way. They were the last group permitted to tee off and only allowed to play the back nine.

So off they went. They played 7 holes and as usual kidded each other over both good shots and bad shots with lot’s of gimme putts thrown in. Harry played all seven holes with his lucky ball. He had it marked with his initials HF. He started using that ball exclusively on par threes but then having had such good luck with it kept on using it selectively on other holes— holes that he deemed to be safe from a catastrophic lost ball encounter. . He was scoring as low as when he was sixty. He had become attached to that ball and treasured it.

They reached the 17th tee, a 120 yard par 3. The weather started to close in and the clouds became dark. So Harry says, "Look we got to hurry up to avoid getting wet." So Moe quickly tees up and hits a five iron. It heads straight down the fairway but lands short of the green. Then it's Sam’s turn and using a 4 iron he pulls his ball which catches a sand trap. It’s now Harry’s turn. Weakened by his illness and tired after 7 holes pulls out a 3 wood. He tees up his lucky you know what, and swings. The hit sounds good but the ball disappears into the clouds, and just at that moment it starts to rain. Thunder can be heard and lighting seen off in the distance. Harry says, “I lost sight of the ball, did you guys see it.?” Sam and Moe look at each other . "No I did not see it" says Moe and Sam responds “Neither did I". Harry with a sense of panic in his voice, says “ Well you two can play your next shot but i’ve got to find my ball —it’s my lucky ball and I sure don’t want to lose it". So off he goes in his cart searching for a lost ball with not the slightest hint of where to look. Moe and Sam ignoring their own balls (no pun intended) get in their shared cart, and wishing to help Harry find his lost lucky ball, also begin a search.. Then more thunder and lightning and now the rain really starts coming down. The search continues for several minutes, their two carts weaving in circles, the three of them looking everywhere but with no luck. Then the sound of a siren signalling for everyone on the course to stop play and find shelter. However the boys keep on looking. The rain keeps on pouring and the thunder keeps on thundering along with some fireworks from the lightning. I mean it’s a major storm.

Then a groundskeeper in his own golf cart approaches the 17th green and flags them down. The boys recognize him. It’s Ignacio Alvarez— better known to everyone as Nash. They have known him for many years. He pulls up close and says , “ Buenos tardes amigos, but what the hell is wrong with you? Are you nuts? It’s raining hard as hell and you’re still here? Didm’t you hear the siren? I have been driving around picking up the flags from all the holes and I’m shocked to see you three, the only ones still on the course. So turn your kiddie carts around and get the hell out of here —and I mean pronto”. Harry looks at him and says “Nash, good buddy, I need to find my ball. It’s my lucky ball and it’s lost. It’s lost". Nash’s jaw drops, he stares at Harry for a couple of seconds and screams “Harry now I know you’ve lost it. You are risking your life my friend looking for a $2 ball. That’s so dumb , you’re acting like a crazy man , as you guys would say “Miss Sugar". I ‘m ordering you off the course, Now ! So get the hell out of here." With heads down and without offering any further resistance the three musketeers motor off to the clubhouse.

Fast forward ten minutes to the mens locker room. The guys having dropped off their clubs to their cars and having returned the carts are soaking wet . The three of them are sitting on a bench changing their shoes and trying to dry themselves off. Harry is mourning the loss of his ball. muttering to himself. The other two are letting him moan. He’s their buddy and he’s not well so they are keeping silent.

Then in walks Nash. He’s got a big smile on his face. He looks at the three of them and says, “Why such gloomy faces" ? Harry stands up, looks Nash straight in the eye and says, "You don’t understand what that ball meant to me. You will never understand you , you groundskeeper.” Nash ignores the insult and responds “Well Harry I've got news for you —Good news and God damn Good news. First the good news". Then hesitating so as to add emphasis to what he is about to convey, says very slowly, “Harry I found your lost ball!” Harry leaps to his feet. But before he can say anything Nash holds up his hand to hold Harry back . He reaches into his pocket pulls out a golf ball and then quickly continues his speech —But this time in a dramatic fashion — as if he was an actor hungry for work auditioning for a part, carefully reading his lines for all its worth. He Holds the ball up to his eyes and reads, “Callaway number 2 right” ? And not waiting for an answer continues, "And it has writing on it right? And the writing is the initials HF— your initials right"? And Harry responds, “right, right right”. Now Nash continues, “Harry before I return your ball and give you the God damn good news, tell me, How many strokes did you take on the 17th hole"? Harry looking puzzled answers , “Only took one, my Tee shot. Why such a question"? Nash, holding the ball close to Harrys Face answers, “You ask why I ask such a question? Bueno amigo, I’ll tell you why I ask such a question. Do you know where I found this ball —your lost ball Harry"? And then putting the ball into Harrys hand pats him on the cheek and adds, “When I went to remove the flag I found your ball in the cup. Harry you had a hole in one"!

Sam and Moe leap to their feet. Harry is stunned and slowly begins to sit back down But before his tush can hit the bench Sam and Moe grab hold of him and start to shimmy in a circle., like how they dance at a Jewish wedding . Nash then joins them in the improvised Hora.—like he was d’Artagnian the fourth musketeer, This four man dancing celebration goes on for about 30 seconds until Harry puts up his hand and motions that he needs to stop. The dancing ends, Harry sits down takes a deep breath and bursts into tears —his shoulders shaking as he sobs. Moe and Sam Sit down next to him ,one on each side. Sam says, “Harry you did it , you and your lucky lost ball. So What’s wrong"? Harry, between sobs responds, “I don’t know Sammy. It’s my birthday, I’m now 91 and how much longer have I got? You guys both know I’ve been playing for 75 years and never had a hole in one. And now to get one today in that crazy storm, but not to have seen it, I don’t know what to say." And then extending both arms and wrapping them around his two cherished companions he adds, “Except that I love you guys ”. He continues to weep. The two buddies are so overcome they too begin to cry.

Nash , watches this emotional display play itself out . After about 30 seconds he shakes his head and mutters, “I’ll never understand you people, tan locos.” And as he heads for the door looks back at them, sees that they have eased up on the crying and says, “Harry you owe me a drink, when can I expect it"? Harry then perks up. Nash’s words were like a straight mans prompt and Harry never one to miss an opportunity for an appropriate paraphrased retort calls back, “When we four shall meet again, not unlike this grey day, in thunder lightning and in rain— The three witches, Macbeth, Act one scene one”. A beauty don’t you think?

Now let’s fast forward just four days. It’s Tuesday but there will be no golf today for the three musketeers. Harry has taken a turn for the worse. He got so sick over the weekend that he was unable to get out of bed. On Monday an ambulance was called and Harry was admitted to the hospital. Sam and Moe together have come to visit. Harry is hooked up to a bunch of machines but is still able to give them a smile after a few short minutes of conversation -- mostly about the word getting spread around the entire local community about Harrys crazy hole in one. Harry points to his bedside table. On the table is THE now famous golf ball.. He says, “ Guys , I know I ‘m not going to be around much longer so I want you two to have my lucky ball. You can share it. Sam you keep it for a few weeks and then let Moe have it." The two of them look at each other and both simultaneously shrug their shoulders and make faces as if to signify, whatever Harry wants Harry gets.

Harry of course was right. He never got out of the hospital and passed away in 10 days. His funeral by tradition and religious law was the next day.

So let’s fast forward again this time to the cemetery. There are about 30 mourners — family and friends - surrounding an open grave with the coffin suspended above ready to be lowered by a couple of cemetery workers standing by waiting for the service to be over. And because it was raining pretty hard (surprise, surprise) it did not take long for that too occur . The rabbi read a couple of short prayers followed by two brief eulogies , one by Harrys oldest daughter and one by Sam. Next came the mourners kaddish and that was it. The coffin then was lowered into the grave. What followed was traditional and symbolic— the shovelling of dirt into the grave by any of the mourners volunteering to do so. About 15 men and three woman — Molly and her daughters— participated in this. When it appeared that the shovelling process was finished the group began to disband and a sea of umbrellas headed for the parking lot. Only Sam and Moe remained. They stood standing together on the edge of the open grave without umbrellas -- just their raincoats and hats — peering in at the partially covered coffin. They had not yet done their shovelling, having purposely waited for the crowd to disperse so they could be alone with Harry. Moe pulls the shovel out from the pile left standing that would soon be poured into the grave. He dips the tip of the shovel into the pile to grab a little dirt but does not hurl the dirt into the grave. Instead he points the shovel at Sam. Sam has something in his hand. Not too tough for you to guess what eh?. THE ball of course. Harrys lucky lost ball. Sam gives the ball a kiss, stares at it and mutters, “Rest in peace with Harry”. He places the ball on the dirt laying in the shovel and swish Moe flips the shovel and tosses the ball into the grave. The two of them just stand there resuming the peering in. They continue to stare for another 30 seconds when Sam turns to Moe and says, “Harry sure would have come up with one of his quotes to highlight that on his funeral day this lousy weather was a little like the weather when he got his hole in one. Moe nods, says “For sure”, tosses the shovel away, turns toward Sam and gives him a hug.

Now for an epilog. Fast forward one last time -- again to the cemetery. It’s a year later on a Tuesday. This particular day was selected because it was the Tuesday closest to what would have been Harrys 92nd birthday. The scene is virtually identical to the one that unfolded at Harrys funeral with nearly all of the same “suspects” in attendance. Only this is not a sad occasion, nor was it raining. It’s what is called "An unveiling”— a symbolic uncovering of a newly placed tombstone over Harrys grave.

So we cut to the chase. Molly pulls away the cover revealing the tombstone — a large piece of polished grey marble with inscriptions carved into the surface. It reads:

HERE LIES HARRY FELDMAN, A MENCH

LOVING HUBAND, DEVOTED FATHER AND GRANDFATHER

AN ENGLISH TEACHER RESPECTED AND ADMIRED BY HIS PEERS

UNSURPASSED IN HIS KNOWLEDGE OF SHAKESPEARE

LOVER OF PLAYING TUESDAY GOLF WITH HIS DEAREST FRIENDS

HIS LAST SWING AN INCREDIBLE HOLE IN ONE

“A CONSUMMATION DEVOUTLY TO BE WISHED”

HAMLET ACT 3 SCENE 1