Winner Takes All

There was silence, as they waited. It was hard and cool, like a blade made of ice hanging in a guillotine, a rope or thread away from another death. This kind of silence killed people, Connie knew. Xe sighed, sucked in air, and sighed again. Connie knew there wasn't much more time, if xe wanted to talk, xe would have to do it now.

Connie sucked in one more breath, to prepare xemself, but was interrupted.

“If you have something to say, just say it already.” The person beside xem spoke harshly.

“Right.” Connie sighed again, then winced at xemself. Xe could do better than sigh. “My name is Connie. I want to speak with you.”

The other person cocked their head at Connie, a half-confused smirk on their lips. “My name’s Maya. What's up?”

Connie wanted so desperately to sigh in relief, but xe held it in. Xe hadn't known what Maya would be like, with only their pronouns and face revealed in the announcements that had played in Connie's room during the contest. They seemed nice enough, so xe continued. “You're going to win.”

An unkind laugh left Maya's lips. “I know.”

Connie blinked. The bench the two contestants were sitting on was hard, and xe adjusted in xyr seat uncomfortably. The vessel taking them to the princess was not the most comfortable.

“It's almost unfair to me.” Maya continued. “You, well, you must have known you would never win. I, on the other hand, ought to have had more suspense, more excitement, over this last judging. Alas, it's you. And you'll never win.”

“Which is why I wanted to talk.” Connie said, once xe had gotten over xyr initial shock at how comfortable Maya was at admitting what should have been a hesitant thing. “When you marry the princess, I want you to think of me, of the people like me. I fought just as hard as you did to be here–”

A lie, and one Connie had practiced in the mirror before entering the vessel. Connie had fought far harder for xyr placement than Maya would ever have to.

“–and as much as it has been an honor to be your opponent, I hope you will understand what I wanted from this. What I wanted to change.”

“Hm.” Maya leaned back against the wall, sending an odd look at Connie. “If you win, and I know we both said you wouldn't, I mean, we live in the kingdom after all, but if you did win, would you think about me? Would you think about how I deserve to win this, because of the things neither of us control? I get this, I get to win, because this is who I am! I am a winner, with my blood untainted and my mind unbothered by the sorts of things that get yours all in a twist.”

“No, please–” Connie breathed, xe could feel xyr eyes widen with fear that xe did not ask to feel. Words spilled from xyr mouth like fingers scraping against a ledge, trying to find a hold. “Maya, you competed against me, you know more than anyone my worth, please.”

“I competed against you, yes.” Cool calm radiated from Maya, only making Connie anxiety hiccup and spike. “But I'll still win. Because that's what I deserve.”

Connie grit xyr teeth and adjusted in xyr seat again. Xe had not come all of this way to beg at the first sign of failure. Xe opened xyr mouth again. “You must know what my life has been like, the struggles that I have faced in order to compete at the same level that you have. You must have at least heard of how hard it is, to not be like you.”

Flashing a white-toothed grin, Maya tilted their head at Connie. “Of course. Of course I have. However, I’m sure you know why you’re asking me to convince the princess of your struggles, that is what you’re doing, isn’t it?”

Maya didn’t pause long enough for Connie to answer.

“Of course it is. Of course. You should know by now, that if you have to ask for your struggles to be heard, it has already been accepted that nobody cares.”

Air entered Connie’s lungs, the sharp inhale was all xe could do. Maya was watching xem, the big blue innocent eyes of a predator, wide with anticipation. They had a point, it was awfully hard to convince the kingdom’s larger population that it was worth their time to attempt and make things easier for Connie, and people like xem.

“I suppose most people are more discrete about it.” Maya continued when Connie did not respond. They brushed a lock of light brown hair out of their face. “They will dance around the subject, so polite, so delicate. They will hate you just as I will, except I am not a coward, or a liar. You are not respected here, and I have the decency to tell you.”

“I deserve to win.” Connie breathed, fists curling in xyr lap. “I fought so hard, those who came before me fought so hard, it’s not fucking fair.”

“Mm, but I’m sure you of all people know there is no such thing.” Maya sighed, leaning back against the wall. “You and your people might want things to change, but me and my people want nothing more than for things to stay the same.”

Connie shook xyr head. If tears welled in xyr eyes, xe would never say. “You can’t say that like it is the same thing. People are dying, Maya, and I’m so tired of the loss. Your people want things to stay the same, so that they may profit from the deaths that come to us. It is not the same.”

“Is it not?” Maya asked, innocence lacing their tone like poison. “Are we not all one creature under the slow blinking sun? Are we so different because you seek to live, while I seek to thrive?”

“Yes.” A single word, a simple word, spoken so desperately, Connie had forgotten that xe had sought to not beg, and yet the single, simple word slipped from xyr lips. Were they begging to Maya’s unforgiving stare, or did xe beg to something greater? Did Connie find xemself so desperate in this moment, that xe would seek comfort in imploring a being greater than mankind? Did it matter? Connie shook xyr head. No greater being had stepped in to help in any way that mattered. No, in this moment, Connie was mankind, all of it, and Maya was that greater being.

“Perhaps you will win.” Maya said, while Connie grappled with xyr mind. “Perhaps the princess will hear your cries herself. Perhaps the change you long for will happen at your command.”

“It is unkind to tease me.” Connie murmured, looking at the floor. Was it worse to accept Maya’s position of godhood, here, in the vessel, or to accept that the lengths xe had gone through to make it this far was for naught? Which was the easier battle to have with xemself, which would bring them the least misery? Perhaps, Connie thought ruefully, that debating which one was worse was the correct option.

“All I have said since you opened your mouth has been unkind.” Maya said, as if a reminder. They almost sounded like Connie’s aunt, always warning xem not to trust those with light features. Connie had always argued in the name of nuance, of acceptance and kindness. “I am not one to sugarcoat my words. I am not a liar. The philosophies I speak mimic those that I know you will recognize as harmful. You hold no power in this room, and in the kingdom, you may never.”

“Then why say those things at all?” Connie asked.

“You looked sad. I ran out of things to say.” Maya waved a hand. “Now, what did you say your name was? I’m afraid I’d forgotten as soon as you’d said it.”

Contestant one, Maya Ross. Contestant two, Connie Matsuo. Contestant Ross had short light brown hair that framed their features well, falling just passed their shoulders. Bright blue eyes on pale skin blinked at the princess. Contestant Matsuo had long black hair that flowed down xyr back, and small angular eyes that complimented xyr darker skin. Contestant Matsuo did not blink casually the way Contestant Ross did, instead staring at the princess, meeting her eyes in a way the princess found almost alluring.

The choice was not up to the princess, the judges would decide who would win, and the political power that was to be held by the victor could change everything. Or, more likely, change nothing at all.

The princess could hardly wait.