Texts

This story contains language and concepts that some readers may find to be disturbing and/or insensitive.

2/17/25, 8:48 PM

Hey, Danny, it’s me, Earl. Wassup?

2/17/25, 8:51 PM

Earl? Earl who?

2/17/25, 8:52 PM

Earl who? Come on, Danno, your best friend, Earl Couch!

2/17/25, 8:53 PM

2 problems, dude:

1.Earl Couch hated cell phones. Said it was the government’s way of tracking us.

2. Earl died a year ago.

Who is this really? Is this your sick idea of a joke? Get a life!

2/17/25, 8:55 PM

Danny, I’m alive enough to be callin you, bro! how ya doin?

2/17/25, 8:57 PM

Look, you have no idea how sick this is. Earl was killed in a car wreck. It was a head on collision with a drunk driver. It was the worst thing you could imagine in that sick mind of yours.

THIS IS NOT FUNNY! YOU MUST BE A REAL PIECE OF CRAP!!!

2/17/25, 8:59 pm

Look, Keith, is this you? I know how much you like pranks, but this is a new low, dude. It don’t matter. I’m putting the phone on the charger and going to bed. I’m not wasting any more time with you tonight!

2/18/25, 1:44 AM

This ain’t, Keith, Danny. Like I said, it’s me, Earl.

2/18/25, 4:55 PM

It’s me again, Danny. Did you figure out that I ain’t Keith?

2/18/25, 4:56 PM

Well, I went and saw Keith today. I accused him of these calls. He cussed me out and told me that he never wants to see my face again. So, who are you?

2/18/25, 4:57 PM

Like I said, Earl Couch, the one and only!

2/18/25, 4:58 PM

I know you’re not Earl! Minnie was in that wreck that killed Earl! She’s a quadriplegic and she had a complete mental breakdown. Millie is the love of Earl’s life. If he was alive, he’d have been to see her at the hospital by now! When Momma and me go to see her, they tell us we’re her only visitors!

2/18/25, 4:59 PM

Dan, maybe the people at Riverbank Mental Institute just didn’t see me when I came in. Did you ever think of that, smart guy?

2/18/25, 5:01 PM.

Who are you? Whoever this is, you do know a lot of stuff that only somebody close to the situation would know!

2/18/25, 5:02 PM

Like I said, Danny, I’m Earl, your old buddy!

2/18/25, 5:03 PM

Screw you! I’m done!

2/19/25, 4:33 PM

OK, jerk, Momma and me went and saw Millie today. I mentioned Earl’s name and she just stared at me like always. Like it didn’t even register. We checked with the front desk and Momma and me are the only people who have visited her since she’s been there. If you were really Earl, you would have been there! Earl Couch is dead! Who are you and what are you trying to prove?

2/19/25, 4:36 PM

Maybe I can’t get there. Maybe you’re right. Maybe Earl Couch is dead. Maybe I’m somewhere that I can’t escape. Your religious fanatic old lady was right. Hell is real.

2/19/25, 4:37 PM

You keep Momma’s name out of your mouth! You are a sick individual! Sick af! I’m done with you for today!

2/19/25, 8:44 PM, Momma

Hello, D Boy. How are you, my sweet boy? You seemed really upset today.

2/19/25, 8:56 PM

Sorry, Momma. I was afraid you were that sicko who keeps calling. You’ll never guess what he said today. He still says he is Earl, but now, he says he’s dead and it’s his soul texting from the fires of hell! Can you believe that?

2/19/25, 8:58 PM, Momma

There are sick people in this world, son.

2/19/25, 8:59 PM

Look, you know more about this kind of thing. Is it possible for somebody to contact our world from heaven or hell?

2/19/25, 9:00 PM, Momma

D Boy, that’s a really good question and I honestly don’t know for sure.

I have an idea, though, but you might not like it.

2/19/25, 9:01 PM

Hey, at this point, I’m willing to listen to anything!

2/19/25, 9:02 PM, Momma

This Sunday, why don’t you come to church with me? Go down front at the end and let the preacher and the elders pray over you.

2/19/25, 9:04 PM

At this point, I’ll consider anything. I’ll think about that.

2/19/25, 9:05 PM, Momma

You know, He’s always there and ready to listen. You think about it. I’ll let you get some rest. I love you, my D Boy. And never forget that I’m praying for you.

2/19/25, 9:06 PM.

Ty. Love you, too, Mama. G’nite.

2/23/25, 8:24 AM

Tell me that it ain’t so! Tell me that my old pal, Danny, ain’t following his old lady to church like a whipped pup!

2/23/25, 8:26 AM

Will you give it up already? Who the heck are you and how do you know where I’m going? You using some kind of spyware?

2/23/25, 8:27 AM

So, you really are going. What is wrong with you? We used to laugh at your old lady and her crazy church people. You remember when you and me went out to that holy roller church out in the sticks that one night? We padlocked the door and, then, we got up on the hill and threw rocks at the metal roof of that church. Them crazies thought the world was ending and they couldn’t get out and run away!

2/23/25, 8:29 AM

There’s no way you could know about that! I never told anybody and Earl always kept quiet about stuff like that!

2/23/25, 8:30 AM

I sure did and I still do!

2/23/25, 8:32 AM

Look, I got a cousin who works for the phone company! We can find out who this number belongs to! You’ll be sorry when we track you down!

2/23/25, 8:33 AM

If you find me, you’ll be the sorry one. It’s not a nice place where I’m at!

2/23/25, 8:34 AM

I don’t have any more time for you and your stupid garbage!

2/25/25, 5:47 PM

Hey, Danno, I got somebody here with me now who wants to say howdy.

Hi, Danny, it’s me, Millie.

2/25/25, 5:59 AM

You there, Danny?

2/25/25, 6:12 PM

Yeah, you sicko, I’m here. This is low even for a pos like you. Girl hasn’t even been dead for a day and you start this crap. What a piece of garbage!

2/25/25, 6:13 PM

Now, don’t be like that, Dan. It’s bad down here, but at least me and Earl got each other.

2/25/25, 6:14 PM

This is sick and I’ve had enough!

2/28/25, 5:02 PM, Billy Ray White

OK, I don’t know who you are, but I’m gonna find out. There’s no record of your number. You using a burner phone or what?

Make no mistake, I have friends in the State Police and FBI! We’ll find you! You have just about caused my cousin, Danny to have a mental breakdown!

2/28/25, 5:05 PM

You’re the cousin we used to make fun of all the time. The one with the earring in his queer ear and the long, fluffy, blonde hair?

2/28/25, 5:06 PM

I just wore the earring to get a rise out of people. Don’t worry about my hair- it all fell out. This ain’t about me, you sick freak! What are you trying to prove. Earl Couch is dead and everybody knows it!

2/28/25, 5:07 PM

I don’t know why you’re so worried about your cousin. You should have heard all the stuff he said about you back in the old days. He couldn’t care less about you!

2/28/25, 5:08 PM

It really don’t matter, slick. He threw his phone in the garbage. You can’t call him any more!

2/28/25, 5:09 PM

It’s ok. I got better things to do.

2/28/25, 5:10 PM

If we do track you down, you’re in big trouble. Do you understand me?

2/28/25, 5:11 PM

YAWN

3/13/26, 4:49 PM, Zack Herman

Hey, how’s it going, bud? Saw your mom at a revival meeting the other night and she gave me your new number. Been a while, Danny….

3/13/26, 6:02 PM

Hey, sorry I didn’t answer right away. I had a situation last year and I’m kind of leery answering texts or calls. Phone stays in a drawer most of the time, to be honest.

3/13/26, 6:03 PM, Zack Herman

No explanation necessary, old buddy. How’s it going?

3/13/26, 6:04 PM

Getting by. What about you?

3/13/26, 6:05 PM, Zack Herman

The usual: working, eating, and sleeping. Right now, I’m working on a sort story for a competition and I’m not coming up with any ideas. Here’s the prompt: Tell a story with a series of calls, e-mails, or text , messages. LOL…any ideas?

3/13/26, 6:06

Yeah, but you wouldn’t believe it…..