WHAT WAS CANNOT BE

“Well, I need to be going now Katie”. Eva stood up, pushing back her chair from beside the hospital bed. “I’ll pop in tomorrow to see how you’re going, and if you need anything, let me know”.

Katie, very cautiously, lifted herself off the bed, and shuffled alongside Eva to the door of the room.

“Well, I’m probably going home tomorrow” she stated. “I’m feeling much better, and I’m just waiting for the doctor to come and sign me out. I need to get back to make sure the old place is still standing, and the pink and greys will be wondering what’s happened to their breakfast”.

Eva was surprised and took a closer look at her friend. “I don’t know about that Katie”, she responded, seeing the bruising to her arms and legs. “You came quite a cropper and the paramedic said you looked like you were the loser in a fight with Mike Tyson. I think they might want to do some scans or something to see if you’ve broken anything”.

Katie kept up her optimistic outlook. “Oh, I’m ok for an old bird”, she said, patting her stomach and chest. “I’ve got plenty of padding, and bendy bones so I reckon I’m right to go”.

Quickly changing the subject of her health, she asked a favour of Katie. “Would you be able to pick me up tomorrow when I’m given the all clear? I’ll give you a call, and then perhaps we can go for a coffee, or lunch, on the way home”.

Eva was still puzzled but decided to go along with Katie’s request. “Alright” she confirmed. “Give me a call, but it’ll need to be after 10 because Cedric’s having his monthly wash and polish, and believe me, he needs it. There’s dog hair everywhere and he’s scratching like there’s a flea circus performing inside all that fur”.

Katie laughed. She’d grown quite fond of Cedric and would often take him taboo treats when she visited Eva. She’d have liked to have had a dog of her own, but she hadn’t got around to organising the necessary repairs to the fencing that had blown over in a severe storm 12 months back.

When she hadn’t heard from Katie by late afternoon the following day, Eva decided to phone her. Katie apologised for not calling, and explained that the doctor had yet to do his rounds, so there was only a slim chance of her leaving that day. She was confident however that she would be out and about the next day, or definitely the day after, and she was looking forward to sitting out on her balcony again, and watching the ocean in all its changing moods.

That’s odd, Eva thought. The balcony didn’t look like it would take the weight of a flock of seagulls, let alone a seascape worshipper.

By the time it got to day eight of Katie’s hospital stay, Eva was beginning to wonder if there was any truth to Katie’s stories of the doctor inadvertently missing her on his rounds, or that there was just one more test that she had to have, or that there’d been a mix up in the necessary paperwork. The explanations for Katie’s continued stay were changing every day and Eva felt it was time to pay a visit to find out for herself exactly what was going on.

When she arrived, she discovered that Katie had been moved to a different ward, and that she couldn’t just walk in without being granted admission. The plot thickens, Eva thought.

On asking for Katie’s room number, the situation took an even more intriguing turn as a well-upholstered nurse, with a convincing air of authority, ushered Eva into a side office. “You’re Eva aren’t you. Do please take a seat”, she instructed. “The doctor would like to have a word with you. He won’t be a moment”.

Puzzled at how the situation was unfolding, Eva tried to read some reason into what was happening. She didn’t have long to wait before a young doctor, holding a file of official looking papers, joined her. As he took a seat behind the desk, the high-lighted and underlined sentences stood out on the pages.

He paused to go over his notes before looking up and speaking. “Ah, yes, good morning. Eva, isn’t it?” he began. “I’m Doctor Murphy, and I’m looking after Ms Carling’s case. I understand you’ve been her main visitor since she’s been here”.

“I suppose I have been”, Eva answered. “My place is just in the next suburb, and I’ve said I’ll come up and collect her when she’s allowed to go home”.

With the introductory formalities taken care of, Doctor Murphy assumed more of a bedside manner, though not relaxed enough to smile.

“Well, um, there is some concern about Katie leaving here”, he began. “Are you her next-of-kin by any chance or, if not, do you know if she has any close relatives, or a Power of Attorney perhaps?”

The situation had obviously fast changed from a straight forward recovery to something more serious and Eva was taken aback by the questions. Taking time to think, she ran through what she already knew and memories of any conversations she’d had with Katie about family matters.

Having collected her thoughts, she answered clearly and concisely. “No, I’m not privy to Katie’s affairs, but she has mentioned that she has a Will. I do know that she’s only been married once and that her husband John died nearly ten years ago. They didn’t have any children, but she does have a sister in Scotland, I think it is, who has Alzheimer’s and there are two nephews over there as well. There are two nieces over here, but I don’t think she has any contact with them”.

Taking in the information, the doctor took a minute to answer. “Well, we will need to contact the nieces if possible as there are some important decisions to be made regarding Katie’s future wellbeing”.

He referred back to the notes. “When she was admitted, Katie was severely malnourished, and her liver revealed that she has a serious, potentially fatal, drinking problem. She’s had a significant number of falls in recent times and there is evidence of untreated broken toes. Also, from the tests we’ve run, there are questions as to Katie’s cognitive ability so, under the circumstances, I’m afraid we cannot discharge her”.

Eva sat stunned and unable to speak. Reviewing what had been said, she shook her head as all the ducks lined up. No-one had ever questioned Katie’s need to walk with a stick to help her along. She would laugh it off as ‘it’s these bloody shoes, I think I’d be better off with hobnailed boots”. When the group of friends would eat out together, it was predictable that Katie would order a child’s meal, take two mouthfuls, then say she was full up because she’d eaten earlier on. She’d request a doggy bag to take home where, it was subsequently found out, it would sit with all the other doggy bags in her fridge.

As for the drinking, there were shared mild suspicions, but nobody really questioned her frequent ‘just popping to the shops’. At any mention of the number of empty wine boxes hiding behind the only working door in the house, waiting to be put into the rubbish bin, Katie would give a schoolgirl giggle and say, ‘Oh, that’s just my Chateau Cardboard, it’s my little indulgence. Everyone has one don’t they, and I just have one or two glasses in the evening because it helps me sleep”.

A thousand thoughts raced through Eva’s brain. What the f***, how the hell, and just plain S***, all of which summed up her feelings. All she could say though, after a deep breath, was “Ok then. So, what happens now?”

Doctor Murphy was trying his very best to deliver the news without injecting any undue drama. “Well, Katie will remain here while we continue her assessment but ultimately, she will need to move to a care home. A social worker has visited her house and confirmed that from the conditions there, it’s clear that Katie hasn’t been attending to even the smallest tasks to maintain a safe and secure lifestyle for herself. Her driving license has been cancelled of course, and basically it has been deemed that she can no longer live independently. This is why we need to contact her nieces so that they can be involved in any decision making”. Without any further reference to the notes before him, he looked straight at Eva and delivered his final message. “If we can’t locate any of Katie’s family members, the authorities will take over management of her affairs and will make all the necessary decisions on her behalf”.

Eva was still in shock. There was so much to take in and she was unable to see a way that she could assist in resolving the situation other than to commence a search for Katie’s nieces.

“Well, I’ll ask the other ladies if they have any more information about her family”, Eva offered, “and I think Katie kept a Xmas card from one of her nephews with his address and phone number on it, so I’ll follow that up”.

“If you could that would be really helpful, thank you”, Doctor Murphy replied as he gathered up the papers and got up to leave. “I do have to go now, but could I emphasise that maintaining contact with her friends will be very important for Katie. Thank you again for coming in, and you can rest assured that Katie’s best interests are always a priority”. With that said, he was gone, leaving Eva stuck to the chair.

The nurse with the official badge declaring to all that she was in charge, appeared at the doorway, and nodded to Eva.

“If you follow me Eva, I’ll take you to see Katie. There’s still half an hour until lunchtime so that’ll give you plenty of time to catch up. We do like our residents to be at their tables strictly on meal time”. I’ll bet you do, Eva thought. Anyone who hasn’t crossed the threshold of the dining room by the appointed hour would probably be consigned to a secret dungeon cell and fed stale egg sandwiches and drain water until they repented their sins.

Katie had the radio on when Eva walked into her room, and she was both surprised and pleased to see her. “It’s lovely to see you Katie, have you come to take me home?”, she asked. “I was just thinking there’ll be no food in the fridge so I’ll need to go shopping when I get back, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the battery in my ruddy car is flat by now. It’s just been sitting there, all this time, so I’ll probably have to pay to get it fixed if I want to go out anywhere. I’ll need to do a pile of washing too, and the mailbox is probably full of bills to be paid”.

Her frustration came to a head, and she turned on Eva. “I’m fed up with people sticking their noses into my business and telling me what I should be doing, and what I shouldn’t be doing. I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself, I’ve been doing it for sixty odd years, so I just want to go home to get on with my life without all this nonsense”.

It was a clear and definitive statement that left Eva between a solid rock and a vacuum that couldn’t be filled. How do you explain to someone that the life they’d happily lived in their own little bubble, for over three decades, was about to be legally replaced by one of boarding school ritual, the patronising attention of bystanders, and slowly fading links to reality? How do you tell them that the house that’s been their haven of accumulated treasures for decades would be sold, complete with its leaking roof, rotting timbers and threadbare carpets, to provide for her care? What can you say when you witness a final curtain slowly falling on the performance of a lifetime?

It was all way out of Eva’s grasp, and the sadness of the sorry tale was brought home to her as she responded. After giving Katie a long, tight hug, she stood back, looked at her and sighed “Alright then Katie. Give me a call when you’re ready to go home”.