Bleeding Heart

Bound tightly together, sixteen Lotovores shuffle along a narrow path in the World’s End Forest.

Seven feet tall, the Lotovores are insectoids resembling praying mantises, with long limbs, angular bodies, large almond-shaped eyes, mandibles, antennae, and pointed heads. Because their poisonous saliva can dissolve metal and sear flesh, the Lotovores’ mouths are covered with acid-resistant surgical masks.

A month ago, the Lotovores, invaders from the Alpha Quadrant, attacked the seaside town of Cohasset, Massachusetts, slaughtering half the population. They were captured after the Extraordinary Bureau of Investigation (E.B.I.), a government agency that captures, interviews, and detains dangerous aliens, blanketed the town with knockout gas.

The procession continues deep into the forest, led by lean, sardonic-looking senior agent Lorcan Pettigrew. His blunt temperament has hardened over thirty years in the E.B.I.’s Boston Bureau. Pettigrew has battled, among other horrors, shapeshifters, giant carnivorous wombats, and poisonous gas creatures from Venus. Pettigrew is accompanied by five agents armed with laser rifles: tall, thin, fair-haired, and even-tempered forty-five-year-old Riker Stevenson; his partner, Bolt Cutter, whose threatening, sumo-like build has caused many aliens to capitulate; and the Betts sisters, Billie Joe, Bobbie Joe, and Betty Joe. The product of test-tube engineering, the stunning triplets are 6’ 2” and renowned for their efficiency. Billie Joe is known for her strength; Bobby Joe for her intelligence; and Betty Joe is still trying to find her niche.

The group rendezvous with four more E.B.I. agents in a clearing.

The agents train their laser rifles on the Lotovores. Their leader chatters, pointing at the agents.

“What’s it saying?” Riker asks Pettigrew.

“Don’t know. Didn’t bring a translator. Didn’t think it was necessary.”

Pettigrew approaches the leader.

“We tried to negotiate with you, to understand that you’re the last of your kind, that you were scared and desperately seeking a new home, but we can’t excuse the murder of six thousand innocent people. Today is your day of reckoning. Today marks the end of the Lotovores.”

“We can’t just massacre them,” Riker whispers to Bolt.

“They’re violent, irrational beings, and they feed on us. That’s good enough for me.”

“But we’re exterminating them.”

“Remind me to shed a tear later,” Bolt replies.

The Lotovore leader violently shakes its head, chattering in protest.

The mask slips from its mouth, and it spits on the restraints binding the Lotovore’s claws and feet, dissolving them.

The Lotovore leader grabs Bolt, pulling him into a headlock.

It clicks out a message.

“I think it wants to negotiate,” Riker concludes.

“We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” Pettigrew replies. “That goes for bugs, too.”

Bolt pants, “…Take the shot…”

Riker raises his rifle, freezing.

Pettigrew fires. Bolt and the Lotovore leader are engulfed in a bright orange cocoon of light, then disappear.

With the leader’s corrosive saliva having done its work, the agents find themselves in a standoff with the Lotovores.

Riker is surprised to see that instead of attacking, five of the Lotovores stand in front of the other creatures.

The middle Lotovore cups its claws together.

“They’re trying to protect the others,” Riker points out. “The middle one is praying we’ll do the right thing.”

“We will,” Pettigrew replies. “LIGHT ‘EM UP!”

The other agents fire at the Lotovores, disintegrating them.

“That was a massacre.”

“No, Riker, that was payback for your partner and for six thousand other victims.”

“They attacked us out of fear and the need to survive. But in the end, they wanted to make peace.”

“I was following orders.”

“We’ve been using that excuse for centuries to exterminate people we don’t like or understand. One of the reasons I joined the E.B.I. was to keep our prejudices and hatreds from spreading throughout the universe.”

Riker plucks his badge from his jacket, handing it to Pettigrew.

“I quit.”

“I told you when you joined that the E.B.I. was no place for bleeding hearts. You’ve always had a problem with terminating dangerous species. But you’re still a talented agent. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I QUIT!”

Riker turns to leave, but the Betts sisters form a wall before him.

“No one just walks away from the E.B.I.,” Pettigrew says.

                                               ***

Riker tugs at the straps holding him down on a gurney. 

Dr. Roberto Seger looms over him with a syringe.

“This will erase your eleven years with the E.B.I.”

“…But my wife, my kids…”

“Sorry. Collateral damage.”

Riker mutters quietly.

“What?”

Riker mutters more quietly.

Dr. Seger leans closer. Riker headbutts him, pulling his hands free.

The sound of an alarm and the scream of the nurses echo through the hallways as Riker escapes.

                                               ***

Riker reaches the highway, hitching a ride with a landscaper. The workers in the truck bed eye him suspiciously, speaking Spanish and laughing when one points out that he has no shoes.

The crew stops at Dunkin’ Donuts. Riker walks away before the men can offer him a cup of coffee.

Riker pulls the collar of his jacket up around his face, realizing he’s still miles from home and highly visible.

Across the street, a woman standing in the doorway of a bookstore, dressed in flowing white linen with curly, waist-length brown hair, waves at him.

“Over here! It’s okay. You’ll be safe.”

The woman’s soothing tone instills trust, and Riker hustles into the bookstore.

“You look like you need a place to hide, as well as a pair of shoes.”

“Thanks. I assure you I’m not a criminal.”

“No, you’re a fugitive. A die-hard criminal wouldn’t use the word assure.”

A large black sedan with tinted windows cruises slowly down the block, stopping in front of Dunkin’ Donuts.

Dressed in black and wearing opaque sunglasses, the Betts sisters step out of the sedan, surveying the street.

Riker dives for the floor.

“It would seem you’re having an exciting afternoon.”

“I’m with the Extraordinary Bureau of Investigation. Or should I say, I was with them until this morning.”

“Looks like you’re the one being investigated.”

Riker quickly explains how he wound up shoeless and on the run.

“Follow me. I happen to have a pair of shoes that might fit you. I hosted a meditation class last night, and one of the men left his loafers behind. Better yet, I’ve got a place to hide where the girls from the World Wrestling Federation can’t find you.”

Riker follows the woman into the bookstore’s back room. She points to the far wall. The wall eddies like a whirlpool. 

“What is that?”

“It’s a portal. Hurry, step inside.”

Riker hesitates.

“Would you prefer going two out of three falls with the barbel babes?”

Stepping forward, Riker closes his eyes and holds his breath as if he were a child diving into a pool's deep end.

Looking around, he is struck by the beauty and majesty of a massive city. The city is cocooned by unique rock formations, cone-shaped hills dotted with ponds, and scattered waterfalls. Its spiraled, luminescent skyscrapers and flying cars speak of an advanced civilization.

                                               ***

The Betts sisters storm into Karis’ Korner Bookstore.

Looking around at the displays of children’s books, flowery romance novels, and comic books, Betty Joe comments, “Now we know where the Woodstock generation went to die.”

 “Can I help you, ladies?”

“We’re looking for a man…,” Billie Joe begins.

Karis raises her eyebrows.

“Not for what you’re thinking,” Betty Joe says.

The sisters flash their I.D.s.

“It’s a matter of national security,” Billie Joe adds.

“I can tell by the Ray-Bans. All the Feds wear them.”

“You two check in here. I’ll look in the back,” Billie Joe commands.

Bobbie Joe searches the aisles. Betty Joe hesitates, smiling shyly.

“Now what’s the matter?” Billie Joe asks her.

“I was thinking about how strong and secure you are and how Bobbie Joe has the brains. What have I got?”

“Anxiety,” Billie Joe huffs, stomping toward the storeroom.

“You’re the best driver, Betty Joe, and you make a killer Chili Con Carne,” Bobbie Joe says.

“It sounds like you’re having a problem with your confidence,” Karis surmises.

“I bet you don’t have a book that can fix that,” Betty Joe laments.

“Au contraire! I’ve got all three volumes of Missy Placard’s ‘You’re a Badass.’”

Billie Joe returns to find Betty Joe buying self-help books.

“This isn’t a day at the shopping mall! We’ve got a job to do.”

“Which neither of us relishes,” Bobby Joe notes.

“Riker is a good man,” Betty Joe adds. “When I had a panic attack, he knew what to say to calm me down.”

“Yeah, shut up didn’t work,” Billie Joe snaps.

“And he convinced Pettigrew to give us a commendation for killing the Halston Hydra,” Bobby Joe remembers.

“Maybe we should tell Pettigrew we couldn’t find him,” Betty Joe suggests.

“Do you two neurotic ninnies want to be on the business end of a failed mission?”

“I…I don’t want to be the one…,” Betty Joe whispers. “You know, the one who finishes him.”

Billie Joe grunts. “Look at it this way, girls. If we don’t complete this assignment, Pettigrew will send a team to finish us.”

                                               ***

Riker is impressed by the city’s beauty and senses that life within its confines is the closest one can come to Utopia.

He feels the woman’s warm touch on his shoulder. 

“Enough sightseeing. Your friends came in, looked around, and were satisfied I wasn’t harboring a fugitive. I even sold Betty Joe a few self-help books. The long and the short of it is, you're safe. Follow me.”

Riker enters the portal, re-emerging in the bookstore.

“Thanks for saving me. So, I take it you’re not from Massachusetts?”

“I’m an Omnipitoid. I took on the guise of a bookstore owner because it’s a fun, stress-free job and I like books. We’ve been monitoring Earth for centuries, watching you screw things up. We can see into the future and, lucky for you, help humans surreptitiously without drawing attention to ourselves. And please, call me Karis… Karis Karloff.”

“Are you a fan of mummy movies?”

Karis’ smile lights up the room. “Cool. Not many people get that.”

“An Omnipitoid, eh? You’re good at hiding. We thought Omnipitoids were a species a bored researcher made up to keep his job. They were right, though. You really do look human.”

“One reason your E.B.I. friends have never captured us. Seventy years ago, when your organization was established, a pair of zealous agents stumbled upon a pair of unconscious Omnipitoids caught in the fallout from one of your atomic bomb tests. Our travelers altered their body chemistry to make themselves appear healthy. Because so little was known about radiation poisoning at the time, your people let them go, never realizing who they had in their possession.”

“Pretty neat trick… Wait a minute… How do you know I was connected to the E.B.I?”

“You’re not the only species capable of spying on others. We know the identities of every member of the E.B.I., from administrators to agents to janitors.”

“Then you know why I left the E.B.I.”

“Because you have a conscience. The same can’t be said for the other agents… So, the way I see it, Mister Stevenson, you have two options. You can re-enter the portal with me, and I can take you back to Omnipitus to live with us, or you can stay here and try to outrun the bruiser babes for the rest of your life.”

“…I have a family. A wife and two boys…”

Karis rolls her eyes. “A family who knows nothing about you.”

“They were kept in the dark for the sake of national security. Can you imagine Julie’s reaction if I brought you home and you told her you were some alien scientist who knew everything about her and could predict her future?”

“We have our laws, too. Another difference between Omnipitoids and humans is that we’re created as adults. There are no children on our planet.”

“Are you saying that if I go with you, I’ll have to leave my boys behind?”

“Yes. And we’re not too fond of your wife, either.”

                                               ***

Karis pulls her Volkswagen microbus to a stop at the end of the Stevensons’ long driveway.

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“I don’t want Julie to get the wrong idea about us.”

“I think that’s the least of your worries, Riker. From what I know about her, she’s a grade-A pain and a skeptic. I don’t know what you ever saw in her.”

“She’s changed over the past eighteen years. Julie hates secrets, and she knows I’ve got plenty of them. She’s the type who wants to know everything, and she’s not happy that I have nothing to say about work when I come home. Julie’s not an idiot. She knows that accountants don’t have to suddenly go to the office at midnight or have a permit to carry a weapon. As a result, she’s constantly accusing me of carrying on an affair… Wait a minute…You have a file on Julie?”

“The word omnipotent is derived from Omnipitoid.”

“Right. All-knowing.”

***

Riker enters the house, forcing a broad smile, hoping it will ease the pain of the bombshell he’s about to drop.

“Where are the boys?”

“At the Tates,” Julie replies.

“Call them. I’m in trouble. I’m not an accountant. I don’t have time to explain, but I need to leave, and quickly, and I want you and the boys to come with me.”

“I’ve always suspected you were up to something. Are you a criminal? A spy? When we met, I would have gone to the moon if you’d asked. Now? I wouldn’t post your bail for a jaywalking ticket.”

“…I’ll explain once things settle down…”

“Your boss called this afternoon looking for you. He said he had to fire you and that you snapped. He’s worried about you and asked me to contact him as soon as you got home. He’s on his way. I called him the second I saw you coming up the driveway.”

“Please listen to me, Julie… I work for the Extraordinary Bureau of Investigation. We capture, interview, or destroy aliens. We ruthlessly slaughtered a civilization of insects today. That’s why I quit.”

Julie covers her mouth with her hands. “Aliens… You really have lost your mind. Don’t worry, Lorcan is on his way.”

“In the meantime, we’ll help you,” a deep voice says from the kitchen.

The Betts sisters enter the living room.

“I didn’t see your car out front.”

“Who do you think we are, amateurs?” Bobbie Joe asks. “We parked on the next block.”

“You could have gotten out of this with a simple mind wipe,” Billie Joe says. “But now… Don’t worry, Riker. Your troubles will soon be over.”

“You’re right, Gargantua!”

Riker bolts for the door.

He runs down the driveway toward the car.

Thanks to their enhanced physiques, the Betts sisters quickly close the gap between themselves and Riker.

Karis stands in front of the microbus, her hands on her hips.

Betty Joe is the first to confront Karis.

“I should thank you for that book you sold me. I read a few chapters, and now I’m not self-conscious about my appearance… And I feel confident about tearing you apart.”

Karis grapples with Betty Joe, who is surprised by the smaller woman’s strength. Lifting Betty Joe over her head, Karis hurls her at Bobby Joe. The sisters crash to the ground in a confused heap.

“You should have read a few more chapters!” Karis exclaims triumphantly.

Billie Joe flexes her muscles. “I eat hippies like you for breakfast.”

Billie Joe charges at Karis and is stiffened by an uppercut that lifts her off her feet. A second blow to the forehead poleaxes Billie Joe, who is unconscious before she crashes to the ground.

“Sorry, I’m not on the menu.”

Karis fires up the microbus. By the time the Betts sisters are upright again, the vintage Volkswagen is sputtering down the street.

                                               ***

“I never thought I’d see the day when anyone could best the Betts sisters, especially Billie Joe. They’re genetic freaks!”

“They’re Neanderthals compared to me. The highest Black Belt degree humans have is the 10th degree. We Omnipitoids go up to fifteen. Plus, I took a few boxing lessons from Pug Malicious. He’s the interplanetary heavyweight champion.”

“Did you know all of this was going to happen?”

Karis stifles a smile.

“Your silence is as good as an answer.”

Riker stares at the road ahead.

“Thinking about your boys?”

“I wish you’d stop reading my mind.”

“I didn’t read your mind. I read your expressions. Your boys are going to be all right. Justin is going to be an All-Star center fielder for the Boston Red Sox, a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame, and a revered coach.”

“My younger boy, Bailey, is such a nerd. He’s the one I worry about the most.”

“You mean Senator Bailey Stevenson?”

“And Julie?”

“Given that she betrayed you, I would think you wouldn’t care about her fate. Two days from now, she’s going to get a letter from me saying she’s inherited a bookshop.”

“…I’ll miss them…”

“Of course you will. You’ve got a conscience and a heart. Let me tell you something else to cheer you up.”

“What? Living on Omnipitus is more fun than Disneyworld?”

“Wait until you see our History of the Galaxy Park. You’ll be able to talk to all your favorite historical figures and celebrities, like the Beatles, Abraham Lincoln… The Three Stooges! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!”

“…Great…”

“Okay, maybe this will impress you… Have you wondered why I know so much about you? Why I rescued you? Or why you’ve felt so guilty about hurting other sentient beings?”

“Lorcan Pettigrew always said it was because I was overly sensitive, a bleeding heart.”

“It’s because you’re an Omnipitoid. We sent you here as a boy to live among humans and learn from them. Now it’s time to go home.”