Among the wild reindeer moss

Trigger warnings:

mental health

death, graphic words describing someone dying

Chapter 1

As I’m sitting on my squeaky bed, the wind knocks om my wooden door; inviting me to go outside. The wind decides to be wild in this late hour; So I will join in. I hop out bed and race with it towards the sound of the crashing waves on the beach near my wooden house. My toes are planted in the sand and a salty scent lingers around me. I turn my head upwards: Billions of stars are staring me into the face. This night reminds me of my eight birthday. My twin sister and I got a telescope. That night we stared at the stars and she asked: ‘Elara, am I looking at the stars? Or are the stars looking at me?’ I looked back at her with a smile. ‘Well Marisol.. why not both?’ With that memory in mind I seek out the night sky for the very same stars.

Something is wrong: I cannot find the same constellations I look frantically to the left and right and cannot find my constellations: Lyre, Eagle and Swan disappeared into thin air. Then my eye catches a belt. The belt of Orion. At this point my heart is beating into my ears. It is not possible! It is summer! Why is Orion looking at me? Why is he already pointing it’s bow at us? My instinct is to run and wake the whole village. Though I do the opposite and I walk slowly back to my house and lay wide awake for hours. The next morning I wake up with a blurry head and hear Marisol’s voice from the other room.

‘Lunch is ready.’

I sit at the table and Marisol looks at me with a tingling in her eyes: ‘Can I remind you that you have, in fact, grown up responsibilities? ’

‘What?’ tired I rub my eyebrow

‘You overslept.’

‘For what?’

‘Work.’

It starts to dawn on me that I forgot about the reality of work. I was guiding people into the mountains. My parttime job is being a guide.

‘Elara.’ Out of breath my colleague Blaze runs in.

‘Something is wrong.’ Blaze grabs a kitchen seat and stuffs some bread into his mouth. His wild eyes gives me the memory of Orion back. I rush to the window and point to the sky. ‘Yes most definitely; Orion is back.’

Blaze looks at me as if I called out a death sentence. ‘that too? This morning I covered your shift. I saw al the flowers dying. It looks awful out there.’

‘You are playing a prank on me.’ Marisol still brightly humored. Blaze and I look at each other in silence.

‘Guys?’

I step away from the window. ‘this is no joking matter.’ A thought rushes through my mind and I catch it;

‘Somehow.. Summer has turned into Winter.’

Chapter 2

Blaze is pulling at the sleeve of my hoodie when we rush over the uneven streets of our little town. The wind has pulled up and blowing a cold stream into my face. Not very pleasant, though keeping my mind sharp. Just before we enter the library we run into the librarian, one of my best friends. Jasmine walks with a hot drink in one hand a book in another.

Jasmine doesn’t notice our urgency and starts babbling: ‘I needed a drink with this turn of events. I was reading next to the window and the wind blew me almost over. It was a slow morning. No one..’

She suddenly falls silent and with a tilted head she looks at us: Is something wrong?’

‘Summer has turned into winter.’ I say

‘Summer has turn..?’ before she finishes Blaze pushes her into the library. The library smells like old books with a hint of floral sweetness. Blaze points at the bookshelves. ‘We have to find an answer.’

As Blaze is searching the books, I explain to Jasmine what is happening. I start at the nature section while Jasmine is processing. In half an hour Marisol enters with three more people. The rest of the afternoon we read until our eyes practically fall out of our sockets.

‘Shall I get us some drinks’ I offer

‘Finally someone has common sense.’ Sterling, one of the guys Marisol brought in, is calling from upstairs. Blaze volunteers to go with me. When I leave the coffeeshop with four cups of hot coffee the sky breaks open and I am attacked by hailstones. I run into the library soaking wet. A few moments later Blaze returns with the other cups and completely dry.

‘That is a very nice sun out there.’ I give him a daggerly look while removing my wet hoodie and throw it on his head.

‘Gross. Get yourself together Elara.’

At nighttime we almost read or scanned all of the non-fiction books. With my eyes closed I rest my head in my hands. Wait a minute; Nothing logically is happening here. Maybe we need something else. Without saying a word I hop to the fiction section and my fingers dance on the covers. I stop the dance at a peculiar book ‘The realest of realities.’ I whisper. I take the book and open it; A fresh new papery scent fills my nose. It’s a poetic book. I start to read:

When Orion strikes it’s bow too early

My heart skips a beat. ‘I got something.’ I scream.

Everyone rushes to me.

‘There is a poem here.’ I point to the black ink letters.

When Orion strikes it’s bow too early;

The whimsical weather starts to be Dutch.

Chapter 3

‘What does that even mean?’ The sister of Sterling, called Esmerald, skeptically grabs the book out of my hands. I snatch it back. ‘The first sentence happened yesterday. Orion appeared to early. Does anyone know wat Dutch weather means?'

Jasmine is pulling her eyebrows together as she always does within deep thinking mode. ‘We do not know what Dutch means, but we know what whimsical means. The weather has been dreadfully whimsical today. We have never seen this before. Everyone who got out has had different weather. We have seen hail, snow, sun and rain. All within an hour of time. There must be..’

Before she finishes I start reading the next lines:

You need to come as close as you can be

To the famous three

Out of track

Now visually back

‘Orion, Big dog and Bull. The famous three constellations who are back. But what does the first sentence mean?’ As I ponder I look up to the puzzling faces of the rest. Blaze puts his hand on the book: ‘We need to climb to the top of Deli.’

Esmerald sputters: Come on we need to be sure, before we head off to that mountain top.

‘I’m not going to ask of anyone to go with me. But I need to know if this has any effect on us. If we are in any danger.’

Ivy, a reserved girl, opens her mouth

‘I will join,’

‘Me too.’ calls Jasmine. Everyone agrees with her except Esmerald. Six pairs of eyes look at her. She rolls with her eyes. ‘Okay, okay. I will go on your little treasure hunt.’

Even though everyone is happy. I’m not. In fact I was really glad she didn’t volunteer. That girl gets on my nerve with her -I’m better than everyone- attitude.

Chapter 4

In the early morning Blaze and I start planning ahead. When we leave my house there are three people fully packed eagerly waiting. And then there is Esmerald, again in her not so jolly mood. I try to ignore her for once. That is kinda hard for me. Blaze takes the lead on the trail. Again his mouth is stuffed with some bread he found. I walk at the back of the group.

After a long days walk we make camp and sit next to a cosy fire. I place myself next to Ivy. The fire is cracking. ‘What do you think about all of this?’ Ivy looks at me with a panicky look. Probably not expecting anyone to ask her. ‘ehm.’ She fidges with her backpack strap. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Why did you come?’

Almost hidden under her breath she leaves out a sigh ‘For a few years now I have been noticing strange things happening.’

‘What kind of things?’

‘Sometimes things don’t add up. Like I see animals in nature that don’t belong here on the island and sometimes even a human disappears.

She says it so casually, but I choke on a piece of cracker in my mouth. ‘People disappear? And you never meant to tell anyone?’ My eyes couldn’t be any bigger. I also attracted everyone’s attention.

‘Sorry...’ Ivy gets up and walks away.

‘No wait, sorry… please continue.’ She walks back with small steps and takes a seat next to Blaze. She curls up her legs close to her chest and her arms around them.

‘People start disappearing? I never noticed.’ Blaze takes it over from me.

‘That is the weird thing. No one does. But I do.’ Her voice raises. I feel this is the equivalent of screaming for this girl. It must be a very lonely thing to be in her situation.

‘That is crazy. So people disappear and we forget them? Jasmine looks puzzled. I stare into the fire and lose connection with the group. After a while Jasmine taps on my shoulder

‘We should sleep.’ I nod and follow her to our tent.

Chapter 5

In the morning everyone seems to have forget about last night. It feels like we are just on a hiking trip among friends; Casually talking and walking. And the occasional yest from either Blaze or Sterling. Sterling couldn’t be the more opposite of his younger sister Esmerald. I’m walking behind Blaze and Ivy enjoying the sun warming my face. I listen in. Ivy surprisingly knows this area well.

I see Sterling moving to the side of Ivy. ‘So little mouse. How do you know so much about this area?’ I’m not the only one who notices Ivy’s adventurous side. I see Ivy’s fingers nervously intertwining each other.

‘eh, well I like hiking.’

‘Why are you never around the social circle of the village?’ Now Sterling turns the conversation 180 degrees around, almost as if it is a police investigation.

‘I am not the most talkative person’ Ivy stutters.

‘My little sister is also not a big talker.’ Sterling winks at her.

‘Shut up Sterling’ Esmerald yells from behind

‘And not that nice either.’

Esmerald runs to her brother and punches his shoulder.

‘That just even proves my point more.’ Sterling raises his eyebrows in amusement.

‘No it does not.’

‘It does too.’

‘that isn’t even grammarly correct.’

I feel the need to step in. ‘Guys please. You are not three anymore.’

‘Keep yourself out of it miss -I need to do it my own way-

I step back and throw up my hands ‘suit yourself.’

When we settle on our course again I start to notice several birds surrounding us with their melodies. I’m scanning the poem book while walking. Suddenly a terrifying growl meets my ears. Before I see the beast I hear Sterling’s scream

'Blaze!’

I look to the left and see a white panther running back into the woods.

What the heck was that? Those animals even don’t live here. I hurry towards Blaze. I push Ivy and Sterling aside. ‘Let me through.’ Only Blaze and me have experience with first aid.

‘Who has the first aid kit? When silence follows I raise my voice

'WHO has the first aid kid?’

A small voice comes from Blazes lips.

‘I knew I forgot something.’

‘Save your strength. Someone rip there shirt and I need water.'

I try to clean the wound, but it’s so deep I can see some intestines. Jasmine already fainted twice. Ivy’s hands are covered in blood. Esmerald is still handing me stuff. The reality of the moment dawns on me: He lost too much blood. I see the life fading out of his face. Almost as white as the snow panther that took it. I take hold of his hand and he grabs mine in return. First a tight grip, though it loosens within a few seconds until he takes his last breath.

After a while someone takes my hand and untwines my fingers out of Blaze’s hand.

‘No! I won’t let go’ I yell. 'Don’t make me let him go.’

‘You have to.’ A whisper from Marisol in my ear. ‘You have to let dead people go.’

When my hand is freed I curl up in a ball on the ground not able to move any part of my body. I don’t hear the birds singing anymore. They have fallen deadly silent. When I open my eyes a hand is reaching from Sterling.

‘Go on without me. It’s my fault.’ My throat is bone dry. ‘I didn’t bring the first aid kit. It wasn’t his responsibility. It has always been mine. I was only thinking about myself.’

Esmerald replaces her brother. ‘You get your sorry little but up. It was not your fault. The beast attacked him in the gut. He would have died with or without the kit. Blaze would have wanted us to continue’

I grab her hand and stand up. We bury his body and continue in silence the walk up the mountain. Blaze indeed would have wanted that.

Chapter 6

Just before sunset we reach the top. ‘We are as close as we can be to the tree.’ Ivy whispers under her breath. She takes the book out of my hand. I’ve been clinging to it since the death of Blaze. When Ivy opens it I see a new page full of fresh ink. My name is written on the top. She reads aloud:

‘Dear Elara,

This is your past you. You finally found the loophole I made into the experiment.

You are part of a big experiment neuroscientist, one as yourself, have created. You and other volunteers have been stuck in a so called -made up- world.

In reality you are trying to discover if there is a way to help people with brain damage, diseases, people in coma or even trauma. You want to make a safe world where they can heal.

As you read this book you probably have forgotten about reality. When we made this world and you volunteered with some other scientists; I was afraid this could happen. When you were young you would imagine your fraternal sister into existence, who sadly died in the womb.

You made this world for others, but also for yourself and at some point you could imagine her again in existence. And your imagination is so strong that others will believe it too.

What you have to do is come back. Finish what you started. Don’t withhold the world from all your talents.

Come back to reality.

Chapter 7

I look at my hands ‘This is not real?’ My gaze turns to Marisol ‘You are not real?’ Marisol nods. ‘I’m only here because you imagined me here.’ While everyone is still in a state of confusion Esmerald speaks up: ‘We need to choose. Are we going to stay or go back?’

‘We need to go back. There are people who care for us. And we need to find out what happened to Blaze. ’ Jasmine says.

‘Do you think he is still alive? Sterling’s voice full of hope.

‘Could be. He died in a dreamworld. ‘ Jasmine turns to face me ‘Elara we have so much to give in reality. You have so much to give! You were the one who put in the loophole; So we could find our way back to reality.

‘But if I go, I lose her again.’ I utter.

‘But if you don’t go, you will lose everyone else.’ She looks at me while holding back her tears. ‘Please come back Elara. I cannot choose for you. But please.’ Jasmine hugs me tight and turns to Ivy, Sterling and Esmerald. They close their eyes and they vanish while the sun vanishes into the horizon.

‘I ones lost you. I don’t want to lose you twice.’ I cry out to Marisol. We stand hand in hand as dusk is settling in. My knees feel too weak to stand. My tears taste full of salt and fall on the book. I open it and wander to the last page. There is another poem. I read it with the last light:

In her own vivid world the colors dance

in the company of sweet blooming flowers.

The birds hum a long song about the six thousand

years old rock formations,

while the elderly mountains hug her tight.

Among the wild reindeer moss the earth breathes slowly.

Carefully waiting for the vibration of her running feet.

The Wind,

softly whispers in her left ear:

'Awake, My darling;

the time has come

to spread your wings'

Chapter 8

As I read the last words. I look at my twin sister. ‘I have to go.’

‘I know.’ She looks at me with both joy and sadness in her eyes.

‘Will we ever see each other again?’

‘We will.’ She turns around and I grab her arm one last time. I almost burst when I ask: ‘Is what you were in this world real? Or is everything about you my own imagination?’

‘You have to find out when you meet the Maker of the stars.’

‘How do I find Him?’

‘The Wind will be your guide.’

I let her go and she is gone. Then I’m alone in this world. Silence surrounds me like a warm blanket. I sit down among the wild white reindeer moss and close my eyes. I breath in a deep breath and as I breath out I pronounced the words.

‘I choose.. reality.’