One Breath Between Us

Mina swings.

He isn’t expecting it. Why would he? The screwdriver hits his neck, and for a nanosecond rests on his warm skin, still flushed from his shower.

-

The bathroom is red.

-

Water, hard and cold, hits Mina’s forehead. It drips from the ends of her hair, down her body, into the drain. She is breathing.

-

She locks the door to the bathroom.

Her wardrobe has more clothes than she will ever wear. She tries one on. Her hair is dry.

-

She returns Blake’s screwdriver to his room. She walks into the hallway.

-

Mina will get away with it. It's dizzying.

-

One of her off-campus friends is asking if she’s okay. Mina pushes her away with a smile. Her ears ring.

-

She’s vomiting. The meagre breakfast she managed to choke down comes back up with bile and acid. It eats at her, eats like bugs will do to Blake a few feet away from her. She isn’t touching him. His eyes follow her.

Mina slumps against the bathroom wall. Blake sits next to her. She swallows down her own stomach acid. It burns her throat.

There’s a knock on Mina’s door. She swallows again, harder, and flushes the toilet. The door is locked tight. Her clothes and hair are clean.

“Mina?”

It’s- Sasha. Respected RA, related to faculty, wannabe private eye. No one could be more horrible for her.

Mina’s hand is on the doorknob. She pushes it down and opens it.

Sasha is impassive, emotionless, and cold. She stares Mina down and in that moment, Mina knows she is finished.

“May I come in? I’d like to discuss something with you.”

“Yes, of course.” Blake smells. So does Mina. Sasha closes the door behind her.

Mina does not like Sasha. She is immovable, and Mina is a dancer. Still, her intuition screams.

Sasha’s eyes, black like obsidian but not half as transparent, pierce Mina through.

“You know where Blake is.”

Mina inhales.

“No.”

“Mina.”

“I don't know where he is.”

“May I use your bathroom?” Sasha asks. Mina feels tears in her eyes. Sasha is the most awful woman on earth.

"No."

“Alright.” Sasha nods. “You don’t want to get away with this.”

Mina inhales.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ll tell you, then,” Sasha says. “You killed Blake and attempted to hide his body in your ensuite. Now, with a clearer head, you regret it. There's no taking back what you've done, though, and you're stuck with a body in your bathroom and more guilt than you can stand."

Mina exhales. She'll make a good detective.

“Sasha.” Her voice wavers. She wants it to. “Why are you accusing me of this…?” She swallows. “I was closer to Blake than anyone. I would never kill him.”

“Do not sell yourself short, Mina.” Sasha speaks gently, like a mother to a baby. Mina hates her. “You’re more than capable of divorcing emotion from action. I've seen you smile at Leon.”

“Sasha…”

“So, may I see your bathroom? It's just the two of us.”

Mina clenches her fists. Unclenches them. She is

unlocking her bathroom door. Her nails dig into Sasha’s jacket sleeve. It’ll wrinkle.

Blake smells worse than before. Sasha blinks.

“I see.”

Mina is

on her bed, tears piling behind her eyes, throat closing up. She isn’t breathing. She’s matching Blake.

Sasha’s hands are on her shoulders, gently rubbing. Mina is not in her bathroom; her heart is pumping. Mina

wants to know when everything went wrong.

“I just- the way he looked at me…” She sounds horrible. Sasha’s hands are impersonal, but they hold her. “I had to stop it… Please…”

“I know.” It’s soft like spring rain. It’s soft like Blake’s hair. It’s the only thing in Mina’s world. Her heart pounds. One, two, three, four minutes for Blake to stop staining her bathroom.

Sasha is still holding her.

“Mina. Describe what happened for me.”

Mina hiccups. It’s horrible. She breathes. Sasha breathes with her.

“I- I told him I wanted to swap rooms because I got spooked by a bug,” she manages. Sasha nods. She pushes ahead. “In the morning, I took the screwdriver from the toolbox in his room and came back.” She’s still here, still speaking. “I teased him. I told him to take a shower because he smelled so awful.”

Sasha’s eyes widen the tiniest fraction. She exhales, deliberate.

“Cunning.”

“I-” Mina’s eyes aren’t done. She can’t control herself. “I went into the bathroom with the screwdriver. He- I-”

Sasha breathes. Mina mimics. Sasha’s hands are still holding her, impersonal. They are a necessity.

“Describe it. Clearly. I know you can.”

Mina closes her eyes, blood roaring in her ears. When she opens them, she’s onstage and looking at her audience of one.

“I took the screwdriver and- stabbed him. He…” Exhale. “He bled out. I took a shower and changed, then returned the screwdriver to his room, clean. That's it.”

Sasha nods again and Mina uncoils. Her mind runs over those motions without stopping but- it’s real. Mina does not wake up from this.

“If anyone else finds out about this you'll be arrested.”

“I’m sorry,” Mina says without looking up. “I’m so sorry.”

“Save it,” Sasha says. “We still have time.”

“We… what?” Mina blinks. Sasha gives nothing away in her face or her body. She is as impassive as a statue, as the doll Mina tries to be.

“It's in my best interest if no bodies are discovered on campus.”

Mina swallows. Her throat burns.

“You… mean that?” she asks. Sasha nods.

“If this goes public it will make both our lives much more difficult. Naturally if it is uncovered I'll point to you as the prime suspect, but until that point we should work together.”

Sasha’s grip tightens slightly. Mina meets her eyes, determined, and clasps her own hand over her partner’s.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

What choice does she have?

-

Their highest priority, as decided by Sasha, is to keep Mina’s room off limits. One of them must always be present as a guard. The door to Mina’s bathroom must also stay locked- she’ll use the communal one instead.

Their next task is to make Blake- smaller. Easier to carry. Mina doesn’t have the stomach for it, something she apologizes for again and again. Instead, Sasha disappears into her bathroom and works.

Kelly worries about the missing cleaver. Someone jokes about a serial killer on campus. Mina gets an extra breakfast serving and leaves it outside the bathroom door.

It isn’t done in one day. They prop a chair under the door handle to Mina's room and sleep in shifts, again on Sasha’s orders.

“I can sleep on the floor if that would be more comfortable for you,” she says. Mina shakes her head.

“No, I… don’t want to put you out when you’re already doing so much for me,” she settles on. Sasha shakes her head and sighs. Her braid is undone, her pajamas are elegant and practical. She’s saving Mina’s life.

“This is for my benefit as much as yours.”

“Please.” Mina hides so much in the dark corners cast by camera flashes, but her feelings always manage to take centre stage. “I want you to.”

Sasha slips under the covers next to Mina, warmth bleeding from her like

“Mina, please calm down.”

“Right.” Mina breathes in time with Sasha. “I’m just…”

“I understand.”

Of course she does. Sasha understands everything. Mina doesn't get it. She’s still and warm, a living contradiction. Mina can’t stand her, can’t stand to be apart from her already.

“I'll wake you up in three hours. Sweet dreams, Mina.”

Mina lingers in her presence. Sasha has some kind of sweet, barely there floral scent that draws Mina closer to her; a moth to a frozen flame. The space of a breath lies between them. Mina wants to close it.

“Can I… hold you?” she whispers. Sasha is so still. Mina needs to feel her heartbeat.

“If that's what you want.”

Mina shuffles closer, the frills of her own sleepwear brushing the soft silk of Sasha’s. She lays one arm around her partner’s waist, the other still splayed out on the mattress. Mina pushes her luck- hasn’t she always- and rests her head on Sasha’s chest.

A drumbeat sounds beneath her ear. Sasha cannot hide this from her.

Mina swallows, rough, and sleeps.

-

She thanks God she doesn't dream.

-

“Mina. Wake up.” Spring rain softly calls Mina into consciousness.

“...Sasha?” she murmurs, hoarse.

“I’m going to sleep now. Wake me up at 4:00 a.m.”

“Mkay.” Mina nuzzles closer, but a hand pushes her away.

“Stay awake, Mina.” She’s so gentle. “If someone finds Blake's body, you can forget any hope of a future.” She’s so horrible.

“Right.” It’s as sudden as a spotlight in a cue-to-cue. Mina can’t sleep with that thought at the front of her mind. Sasha’s too good at this. “I’ll wake you.”

Then, Sasha is fast asleep. Mina keeps a hand on her heartbeat, steady and slow. Three hours is so long.

Mina stands, making sure Sasha is tucked in. She needs to keep her body awake and moving, so she raises her arms to the sky, then the floor, then rolls back up. She moves through her physical warmups in oppressive silence, her footsteps all there is.

In utter darkness, the corners close in. Blake breathes and Mina stretches.

Two, three, four a.m. Mina moves to Sasha’s side and rests her hands on her partner’s shoulders.

“Sasha. Wake up.”

Obsidian, inscrutable, looks Mina up and down.

“It’s four.”

Sasha nods and pushes herself up. Mina slides back into bed and leaves a breath between them again. Sasha is warm and moving to the rhythm of her beating heart.

As she drifts off, her mind playing tricks on her even as she stays conscious, Mina feels the slightest pressure on her hand, between her fingers. She loses herself before she can open her eyes.

-

When Mina wakes, Sasha is already gone and there’s sharp clicks coming from the bathroom. Mina double, then triple checks that the door is locked.

She gets breakfast. Leon sits next to her and Mina smiles at him. If she pretends he’s Sasha, she can manage it.

When no one is around- as Sasha instructed her to watch out for- Mina takes spare trashbags from the kitchen and hides them under her shirt. When she returns to her room, Sasha is standing there, drying her hair.

She is utterly opaque when she glances at Mina, shoulders still.

“Did I get it all?” she asks. Mina drifts closer to her, like she’s dreaming. She takes a strand of Sasha’s hair- soft, so soft- and turns it between her fingers. Glances up and down at her outfit, dressed down for once.

“You’re fine,” Mina says. “Hasn’t it- stopped by now?” No heartbeat, no stains.

“It never hurts to be careful.”

Sasha takes the trashbags and disappears into the bathroom again. They have to do this fast before people start really questioning where Sasha’s spending all her time. Before they think to look for Blake through Mina.

She swings her legs over the end of her bed as she waits. Mina really does feel useless like this. Sasha is taking care of everything. She swallows- for the first time, it’s smooth. Sasha is taking care of Mina and her- murder. She’s cleaning up for her, covering for her, dismembering for her. Sasha is, in no uncertain terms, the reason Mina is alive.

A sharp knock hits Mina’s front door. She jumps up, heart clawing at her ribcage. The bathroom goes silent.

“Mina. Open up.”

The bathroom lock clicks. Mina inhales, then exhales, then opens the door.

“Richard. What’s wrong?” she asks. She’s nervous, anxiety eating her insides like bugs. Richard could be her executioner.

“Don’t be stupid. Where’s Blake?”

“I… don’t know where Blake is either,” Mina says. She doesn’t know how many places he is in her bathroom. Richard scoffs.

“As if. You two were close, weren’t you? You’re the last one who saw him alive.”

Mina inhales, exhales, thinks.

“I don’t know,” she says. Richard raises an eyebrow.

“But you do think he’s dead?”

“Huh?” Mina pales, her hands go cold like Sasha’s.

“You didn’t correct me, after all,” Richard says, leaning further into Mina’s space. He’s taller than her by a significant margin. He uses it. “You know that he's dead.”

“I-”

“Let me in, Mina. I won’t ask twice.” Mina swallows, and it burns with fire. Sasha is silent.

“I’m sorry, Richard, but you can’t come in.”

“Oh really? We’ll see about that.”

In one move, he’s shoved Mina to the side and stepped into her and now Sasha’s room. Mina is grateful for her diligence in her warmups.

“RICHARD, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

It’s a shriek, high-pitched, terrified, true. It’s a melody to match Mina’s racing heart.

Thumping footsteps approach immediately. First Leon, then Cal, then, bizarrely, Kelly. Each of them wear a different panicked expression, but they all contort when they see Mina slumped against the wall and Richard in the centre of her bedroom.

More sounds, footsteps, approach like gathering thunder, but Leon tackles Richard to the floor before any of them reach.

“You bastard, what do you think you’re doing!?”

“Mina, can I go in your room to beat the shit out of this guy?” Cal asks, polite and crass as ever. Mina nods and sets that beast loose onto Richard as well.

“Are you, like, alright?” Kelly asks, her eyes wide with concern. Mina shakes her head, weakly.

“He- he shoved me.” A meaty whack; Richard yelps. “I couldn’t do anything…”

Richard scrambles for any sense of dignity- his glasses are cracked and barely hanging onto his face- as he glares at Mina with the heat of an incinerator.

“This- snake is trying to hide her crime!”

“Don’t call Mina that! Stupid!”

“I thought you were better than this, you asshole!”

Richard's right and he knows it. His fists are clenched so tight he draws blood. She’s made him wrong. Mina has made him a stupid, brutish, pervert when he was trying to bring Blake justice. She swallows. It’s rotting.

Cal and Leon carry Richard out of her room and Cal assures her that he’ll keep Richard tied up if he tries any funny business. Sasha can finally work again.

Around sunset, Sasha emerges. There’s dots of red on her knees, but she’s otherwise clean. Mina finally exhales.

“All we need to do now is dipose of it,” Sasha says, voice low. Mina nods.

“One of my off-campus friends has a garden incinerator,” she suggests. "Her fence is pretty low."

Sasha's eyes narrow, obsidian slits sharp enough to cut. Mina welcomes them.

Eventually, Sasha nods, looking back toward the bathroom. Blake’s still in there, however he looks now. Something pushes out of Mina’s throat.

“I really liked him.”

“...Blake?” Sasha deduces. Mina nods, looking down at the carpet swimming before her eyes.

“I thought he was reliable and… cool, I guess. He was always looking at me.”

Sasha is a statue, but her jaw creaks open to speak, stilted:

“He was very kind.”

Mina inhales. Exhales. Like Sasha does.

“He was.”

-

Sasha rounds the school, making herself known and present before Blake goes away for good. Mina double checks the bathroom door and her pockets and tries to remember how Sasha breathes.

It’s smooth, always deliberate. If Sasha wasn’t so stony, she could be an dancer with Mina. Or maybe she could still be a dancer. Ice queens sell well. Mina wouldn’t mind sharing a stage with Sasha instead of a secret.

When Sasha returns, she’s changed into a darker outfit, her jacket buttoned up. Mina exhales. They are

doing this.

Mina’s sleeves are pulled up. She’s carrying trashbags with Blake inside and walking as softly as she can. Sasha is in front of her, arms loaded with bags as well. Mina’s heart bangs and rattles against her chest, barely functioning.

“Richard won't bother us,” Mina whispers . In the dark it feels like screaming. “I told Cal I was worried he might try something tonight.”

Sasha’s steps falter for a beat, an eighth note.

“Clever.” Mina’s fingers clench into the plastic. “We’re nearly there.”

Mina gently sets the bags on the sidewalk and cringes when they squish. She hops the fence and breathes in and out as Sasha hands them back.

In the dark of the night, the incinerator roars like a dragon. It’s a beast that will swallow Mina’s sins whole. She and Sasha place Blake inside the mouth and bring it to life. It crackles.

Mina takes hold of Sasha’s gloved hand. Her grip is too tight, her own fingers hurt from the strain. Sasha squeezes back.

The light casts horrible shadows, but it bathes Sasha beautifully. It’s her spotlight, warm and lovely. Mina is pulled closer to her. She’s only a breath away.

“Sasha,” she murmurs. She’s saving Mina’s life. The obsidian in her eyes refract the firelight into something deeper, changing. Sasha looks at her, completely, and in that moment Mina knows she is finished.

“Would you… want to stay in my room tonight?” Spring rain drizzles along Mina’s skin even as it crackles with Blake. She swallows it all, smooth.

“I would.”

Sasha smiles, the barest turn of her lips. Mina digs her fingers in tight. She’ll keep them there forever.

The incinerator slumbers, and Blake is dead.