Home for the Holidays

"Where did Tim go?" Mark asked.

"I think he wanted to put his leftovers in his car," I said.

Everyone was home on break. We called and texted one another to get plans together for the evening. There was an old Italian restaurant that was known for having a duck-pin bowling alley in its basement. They were also known for having meatballs that were about a third of a pound apiece. The name of the game was to order spaghetti with the meatball and marinara and then smash the meatball or slice it or whatever. Everyone had a method for tackling the meatball, and when the meatball came to the table saddled on top of a pound of pasta, it was daunting. A lot of meat, and a lot of bread. There were always leftovers.

Mark was home from med school, and he brought a girl home with him. "Buxom AND brainy," he said when he hugged me. "I'll introduce you. You'll love her." Tammy wasn't just buxom and brainy, she was also besotted. In between bowling frames, she couldn't keep her hands off Mark.

Jan sidled up to me. "What's going on there?" she asked.

"Mark's in love, I think,” I said with a bit of speculation.

" I guess we'll see how all that works out," Jan said. "Look who just walked in."

It was Kelly. My sorority sister, close friend, and neighbor in the apartment complex where I lived. She was easily the smartest science girl I knew. She would discover a cure to a disease some day, and she would be invited to a certain highly prestigious ceremony in Stockholm. She was just that smart. Mark failed to cross all the t's and dot all the i's when he dated Kelly, and she eventually grew tired of making excuses for his inattention and inadequacies as a boyfriend. All of our friends told her she could do better, and she could; but it seemed she didn't want to do better than Mark. Eventually, she let him go, but in her heart, she never really let him go.

Kelly chose to show up for duck-pin bowling, though, adopting the proviso that living well was the best revenge. She brought Sam. He was a fellow grad student in her lab. Where Kelly was the complete female package of brains, beauty, and a body to kill for through hard work at the gym, Sam was her match. Maybe they would share a certain award in Stockholm. Personally, I loved the idea of these two super-geniuses procreating and making a super-duper-genius baby human. Sam was also very nice and very conscientious, and it was clear, he was enamored with Kelly. He was kind. He watered her plants and fed her cat while we went to Key West for Spring Break earlier in the year, and, even better, he didn't expect anything in return.

***

"Are you paying Sam to take care of things while we're here?" I asked, lying back on a lounge chair, taking slugs off a rum runner, while a light breeze swept in from the ocean.

"I asked him, and he said it wasn't a big deal. Do you think I should pay him?" Kelly returned.

Jan said, "I think you should bang his brains out when you get home as a thank you."

"You could get him a t-shirt or something, but I'm with Jan. Bang him. Bang him hard," I said.

"We don't have that kind of relationship," Kelly said. "We work in the same lab." She turned over on her stomach, and pointed at her back in the signal that meant someone should put sunscreen on her. Jan rubbed lotion into her palms and worked the protection into Kelly's already reddish back.

"So. Lab shmab," I answered. "Who cares."

"Well, what if things go south?" she asked.

"You're mature," Jan said. "He's mature. You act like mature adults. If things don't go south then you make plans together about the future, post-docs, and all that jazz."

"But what about Mark," Kelly asked, a little whine in her voice. "Do you think there's any hope there? Do you think I shouldn't have dumped him?"

"You did the right thing," I said. "I love Mark, but he's not a great boyfriend. He's a great friend, but I couldn't handle being his partner. Did he brainwash you with sex?"

"Ha…um, no," Kelly answered. "This would make so much more sense if he were really great at sex, but, no. He's just meh."

***

And now, six months later, Kelly still hadn't pulled the trigger with Sam…or had she? Their pinky fingers were linked. I nudged Jan, "Hey. See that? The pinky thing?"

"No! Do you think? No! Oh, wow. This is just too good," Jan quietly gushed.

Jan and I approached Kelly. "Please tell me this is what I think it is," I whispered in her ear while hugging her.

"It is exactly what you think," she whispered back, "and he is an expert practitioner of the sexual arts. I need to listen to Jan more."

Jan hugged Kelly next, and I hugged Sam. Jan gave me the 'I told you so,' look.

Mark took in Kelly and Sam, taking a quick visual inventory. Tammy took in Kelly and Sam and Mark, also taking a visual inventory that wasn't as quick as Mark's had been. She scrutinized Mark for just a moment longer than necessary, but then relaxed and smiled. Everyone was hugging.

More friends arrived, and we quickly determined that the most athletically gifted people didn't make for the best duck-pin bowlers. We caught up on each other's semesters and all the 'what's next' type stuff. Mark sidelined Kelly at the scoring desk, and Sam didn't seem bothered. He apparently wielded a magic dick. Tammy, though, sent daggers Mark's way. She bristled when she saw Mark gratuitously leaning over Kelly's shoulder to check her math from one bowling frame to the next.

I went over to Tammy. "I know you don't know me at all, really, but I've known Mark a long time. I've known Kelly even longer," I said. "You have nothing to worry about. She's with Sam, and they are a match." I made the chef's kiss motion.

"You're sure I don't have anything to worry about? Look at him looking at her? He's hanging all over her," she said. "Why would he bring me here if there was the possibility that she was going to be here, too, and that this was going to happen?" Tammy waved an arm in Mark and Kelly's direction.

"Here's the thing, Tammy. If Kelly hadn't brought Sam with her, Mark wouldn't have given her a second thought. You would have seen Kelly shooting longing glances in Mark's direction all night, and he would have ignored her. It would have been pathetic for Kelly, and you would have felt like a queen, completely unthreatened and supreme ruler of Mark's heart."

Tammy said, "Yeah? You think?"

"I know," I said. "He's sniffing around what he can't have. He wasn't a good boyfriend to Kelly, and eventually, it ended. He just kind of went on like it didn't bother him at all. He's one of my best friends, and he didn't wait around at all before getting back out on the dating scene. I think if he really had been hurt or needed to heal, he wouldn't have jumped back into dating quite so quickly."

Tammy nodded along.

"Kelly took a little more time before she decided to move on. Sam has had a thing for her since the day they entered their lab. He's just been biding his time until Mark was out of the picture—which being in Iowa for med school certainly did get him out of the picture. Kelly needed distance from Mark, and she needed to realize she and Mark weren't as great in reality as they were in her head."

"Oh," Tammy said.

"I hope he's a good boyfriend to you," I said.

Jan wandered over, "What are you two talking about?"

"Mark," Tammy and I said in unison.

Jan said, "You're going to love Mark's younger brother. He's hot, and he wants to be a spy."

Tammy's face brightened. "That's what I hear."

The final frame wrapped up, and everyone donned their coats. "Pick a bar," someone said.

I looked around to make sure everyone was accounted for, and we were short one person.

"Where did Tim go?" Mark asked.