The Cycle of Mom

Clara moved sluggishly through her home, her feet dragged across the carpet.

She made sure her children’s pajamas were on before giving them their toothbrushes. 

Her husband, Peter, finished up the dishes and put away dinner.

Clara yawned.

She cuddled up next to her children and read a book with them.

Her eyes drooped. She yawned again.

After the book, she and Peter tucked their children in and kissed their foreheads.

“Goodnight, sleepy heads.”

“Goodnight, mama. Goodnight daddy.”

She smiled and closed the door behind her.

And just like that, her energy returned. 

Now was her chance. 

Her eyes darted around the living room. What a mess!

She quickly cleaned up all of the toys, put them in the toy bin, and inspected her work.

“Want to watch a show with me?” Peter asked after he finished cleaning the kitchen.

“Sure! Let’s get some snacks.”

The two snuggled up on the couch and watched a show and shared some snacks. The show ended on a cliffhanger.

She sighed.

“One more?”

“No… I wish. But I have work tomorrow. And you know the kids will be up at the crack of dawn,” he chuckled. “You should probably head to bed too. You looked really tired today.”

“Yeah, I’ll head to bed soon.”

He loaded their snack bowls into the dishwasher and started it before retreating to their bedroom.

Clara began responding to text messages and emails she missed through her busy day.

Her friend responded. They texted back and forth for a while before her friend stopped texting back. Clara realized it was 9:30, so it was 11:30 where her friend lived. She probably fell asleep and would text back in the morning.

Clara suddenly remembered that when she had planned to exercise earlier, one of her children spilled a bowl of cereal and she stopped her exercise to help clean it up.

By the time the cereal was cleaned up, another child needed a diaper change. Her exercise never happened.

She stood from the couch and turned on the workout video she tried to do earlier, and completed her exercise.

She drank from her water bottle and filled it after it emptied.

She took a shower. She realized that her legs were beginning to look like a jungle. She shaved and washed herself. The good kind of washing, not the speed-washing kind where she rushed to finish before one of the kids broke something.

She dried off and felt as if she were a new person.

Clara put her pajamas on and went back to the living room and sat down on the couch.

She sighed. 

Her brain was beginning to nag at her that she really should go to sleep.

But the house was so quiet. So serene. And she could do whatever she wanted or needed to do, without any interruptions.

She loved being a mom…but sometimes she just wanted to be Clara.

She determined she would scroll Facebook. For just a little bit. She would see what her friends and family have been up to. Then she would get off and go to bed.

She saw that one of her cousins was getting married. She put a heart reaction on the post.

Her sister posted pictures from her recent vacation. Heart reaction. 

One of her friends got a new puppy. Heart reaction.

Then, she saw an ad for a dessert recipe. Clara lingered on the post. It says it’s a ten-minute recipe, and she had all the ingredients.

Her mouth watered.

She closed her phone and walked back to the kitchen. She opened cupboards and placed ingredients on the counter.

“Hon, are you headed to bed?”

Clara jumped and spun to face Peter.

He snorted.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you… What are you doing?”

Clara gave a sheepish grin.

“I’ll go to bed really soon. I just saw a yummy dessert recipe. It only takes ten minutes, so I’ll head to bed in around twenty minutes.”

Peter smiled. 

“Save some for me. I’m headed to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He gave her a hug and kiss before going back to their bedroom.

Clara got to work on the dessert. She spilled some sugar on the counter and sighed.

“Ten minutes my butt,” she said under her breath. “It’ll take ten minutes just to clean all of this up when I’m done.”

She finished making the dessert, cleaned the counters, rinsed her dishes, and left them in the sink.

She sat down and began to eat.

She smiled.

“Mmm…”

It was one of the best-tasting desserts she had ever had. Or maybe it just seemed that way because she was actually eating more than a bite or two.

Normally when she had dessert, her kids would convince her to give them “just one more bite” until it was gone.

She laughed to herself.

She finished her dessert and cringed when she looked at the time again. It was already 11:30.

Now she was pushing it. She had been so tired all day. She wanted to be rested so that she could be more attentive to the kids.

If the weather was nice, maybe they could go to the park or the zoo. If it was super rainy and wet, she could set up an obstacle course in the living room, or do a craft with them.

She quickly went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and she laid in her bed.

She stared at the ceiling for what felt like an hour, but was probably only five minutes.

Peter was snoring.

“Maybe I’ll read until I fall asleep,” she thought to herself.

She grabbed her Kindle and began to read the most recent book her friends had recommended to her.

She read. She read pages. She read chapters.

She looked at the time and cringed.

It was almost 1 am.

This is not working.

She closed her Kindle and readjusted her position in bed. She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to find her.

Before she knew it, she was startled awake by one of her children tapping her shoulder.

She gasped and threw her arms up, startling her daughter, Melody.

“Mommy, I had a bad dream.”

Clara sighed and checked the time. 

It was 1:30.

She had fallen asleep, but not for long.

“Come snuggle.”

Clara lifted Melody and laid her in the middle of the bed.

Feet pushed firmly into Clara’s back, just as she was about to fall back to sleep.

Clara scooted closer to the edge of the bed. Melody followed. Clara looked at Melody and sighed. She was asleep.

Clara stood and cradled little Melody into her arms. She carried her to her bedroom, and laid her down in her own bed. Melody stayed asleep.

Clara smiled and shuffled back to her own bed.

She looked at the time again and sighed. 2:30.

She snuggled into her blankets and finally fell asleep.

Before she knew it, the children were bounding into their bedroom. They were full of energy and ready for whatever adventure Clara had planned for them that day.

Clara fought for her eyes to stay open. She yawned and glanced at the clock. 6:00 am.

She groaned but stood up. 

Her feet dragged across the carpet. She left her bedroom and walked to the kitchen to begin working on breakfast.

“Can we have pancakes?” One of the kids asked.

“Yeah! Pancakes!”

Their voices seemed way too loud.

“Shhh shhh… Yes, I can make pancakes. Just quiet down please.”

“Look! Sugar! I want sugar!” 

One of the kids found the sugar container. It had been forgotten on the counter the night prior.

Clara sighed.

“Tonight,” she thought. “Tonight is the night that I will go to bed early.”