SafeApe

Under the safety of her duvet, the little girl curled up in the light of the headtorch, gently clutching the index finger of the seven-foot-tall gorilla who had been her constant protector. His hand, enormous and clumsy gently patted her head.

“Do you think they love me, like really properly?” Emma asked.

“New Mother love Emma. New Father love Emma. SafeApe love Emma.” The gorilla’s voice, a rumbling thunder that would’ve terrified even the bravest men. Emma’s eyelids began to droop. SafeApe adjusted his hardhat, shining its headtorch away from her eyes.

“It’s my birthday tomorrow,” Emma said through a big yawn. “New Mum said there’d be presents and cake and ballons.” SafeApe smiled, his big, pink gums never failing to make Emma giggle. “and other kids are coming. Do you think they’ll hate me?” SafeApe shook his head, the bright orange hardhat threatening to fall off.

“Kids bring Emma present. Kids eat cake. Happy.” He grunted. Emma relaxed at his answer, the tight little ball she’d curled into loosened slightly. SafeApe felt his own enormous shoulder muscles unclench. He had said the right thing, Emma felt safe. He continued to hold out his index finger as Emma wriggled to get comfy, she was still never quite at home despite the weeks since her adoption.

“They won’t take the presents away from me, will they?” Emma asked, her voice small and high.

“No. SafeApe guard presents. Eat cake. Emma sleep now.” Said SafeApe, feeling little Emma’s grip on his finger soften.

“Goodnight SafeApe, please stay.” Emma said.

So, he did, he watched Emma sleep all through the night, stroking her head at every creak of the door or bark from a neighbourhood dog. When the sun finally shone through her curtains, SafeApe was fighting to keep his eyes open.

There came a soft knock at the bedroom door. Emma’s body spasmed out of sleep. SafeApe slid his finger into her hand, she gripped on tight as the fear hit its peak.

“Keep me safe. Keep me safe.” She whispered. SafeApe crooned, clicking on his headtorch. The light washed over her, and her body stopped shakin. She peeked out from the covers just as her new Mother opened the door.

“Rise and shine Emma! Who are we talking to this morning?” She asked.

“SafeApe!” Emma happily announced, stretching her arms out with a big smile.

“Oh, I see, well why don’t you and Mr SafeApe brush your teeth whilst I get everything ready. How does that sound?”

Emma gave her a nod, sliding off the side of her oversized bed.

“Perfect! Oh, and Happy birthday!” New mother rattled a red wrapped parcel behind her back. Emma’s face lit up, she looked over to SafeApe her eyes sparkled in anticipation.

“Emma brush teeth.” SafeApe reminded. Lifting his hulking arm toward the bathroom. Emma’s feet gave a little dance as she scuttled off. New Mother closed the door gently, a wet shine of tears forming in her own eyes. Leaving the gorilla in the hardhat alone in the bedroom.

He stared at the bathroom door, when he heard the rush of water from the tap, he knew she was safe. Craning to work the stiffness from his neck, he gave out a hoot and swung his arms. Just then the door opened. Not the door New Mother had come through, this door was made of the purest light. SafeApe gazed toward it, despite its brightness it didn’t hurt his eyes. He stood and moved to the bathroom door, readying his great fists. It was an old instinct, he knew Emma was in no danger from the being who stepped out from it.

“Another long night SafeApe?” asked the angel. She shook out her flowing scarlet hair and tumbled back. Before she hit the ground a chair appeared, catching her in perfect comfort. SafeApe dropped his shoulders, giving the visitor a grunt. In comparison to her star-soaked radiance his own headlight seemed barely visible.

“Emma’s grown to be quite the independent young lady. Brushing her teeth on her own.” Her voice, a casual enchanting melody that made SafeApe clear his throat. Her words struck him. Emma had never brushed her teeth without him before. He felt a hand close round his heart.

“Emma need SafeApe.” He growled. Anticipating the angel’s reason for visiting but unable to hold her gaze.

“Emma loves SafeApe. But Emma’s growing up, and she has a real family now who loves her too.”

SafeApe swallowed hard, the angel let her own words hang in the air. He blew a forceful wind from his nostrils; his upper body began to heave. He let out a great howl, hammering his fists against his dense, black chest in a display of pure rage that would’ve reduced the most frightening monster to a urine-soaked mess. The angel leaned back in her chair, waiting out his tantrum with an eternal patience.

“I’ll be waiting for you, after her birthday party.” She offered him the most considerate of smiles before standing. Brushing her fingertips along the boiled leather of his cheek. “What a brave ape you are. Emma is truly special to have imagined up a protector like you.”

He watched her leave, his mind desperately snatched for some reason for her to let him stay. The door of light winked out of existence, still he had nothing.

“I brushed my teeth!” Emma said.

He turned to see Emma had emerged from the bathroom, offering him a big toothy smile. White paste dotted her chin; proof she hadn’t just wet her toothbrush. He drew back his lips to show off his own teeth. Crushing molars and canines as long and sharp as claws. She giggled herself silly at his face before remembering what waited for her downstairs. Wiping the back of her mouth with her pyjama sleeve, she headed downstairs. SafeApe watched her go, taking each step one at a time, giddy to reach the bottom.

Emma prepared for her party with her new family. Every so often her eyes would drift over to the presents on the coffee table. SafeApe sat in the corner, remembering to smile every time Emma looked over for some reassurance. He did his best to memorize every moment but the memories of how she’d been when she’d first imagined him into life compared to how she was now brought tears to his eyes. Emma tried to blow up a ballon whilst new mother set about tickling her, they both ended up falling about laughing. A care-free mass of giggles that spoke of safety and comfort.

By the time guest started to swarm in the house was a bright pink jungle of ballons and decorations. The small pile of presents on the coffee table grew to an overflowing haul of boxes of bold colours and shapes. SafeApe batted the floating ballons away as he tried to keep Emma in his sight. She was currently surrounded by an array of neighbourhood children, suitably sugar fuelled and all awed by the new girl. Pulling her this way and that, firing every conceivable question at her whilst pointing to the present that their parents had bought but they had helped pick out.

The air was thick with sugary treats and exhilaration. SafeApe could see Emma braving her way through the engulfment of attention. She smiled, but her answers became single worded and sharp. When the crescendo of shoulder tapping became too much she began to stutter, looking around for SafeApe. He brooded, still in his corner wishing he could steamroll his way through the sea of heads and scoop Emma up in his arms.

The questions came to an end when New Mother came out, a large square cake wobbling on top of her forearms. The candles swayed as she navigated her way through the gawping children over toward Emma.

Happy birthday to you…

The room erupted into song as Emma stood staring at the cake, her eyes as wide as saucers. Some of the boys took the song to be a competition and began to bellow it as loud as their lungs could muster. SafeApe stood to his full height, bumping his hardhat against the ceiling, fumbling for his headtorch. He flicked it on, but it was too late. Emma had dissolved into tears. The noise and the crowd had become too much to bear. Slapping her hands over her ears she screamed, stunning the singing crowd to silence. SafeApe dropped to his knuckles as she fled under the kitchen table. New Mother, still holding the cake smiled at the guests apologetically.

“You, see?!” SafeApe howled at the ceiling, “Emma need SafeApe!”

As the children were ushered away from the kitchen table SafeApe knelt and stuck his head under. His lamp shone through, and Emma crawled toward him. She didn’t say a word. With him she never had to explain anything. She hugged his neck, her arms not even making it halfway around.

“Emma safe.” He told her as she sobbed. From behind Emma’s head, a dancing spark played just beyond the light of his headtorch. He pleaded with it, allowing all his sorrow to pour out through his amber eyes. Still the spark danced, never straying to far from Emma.

He felt Emma’s arms tense as New Mother shuffled into the kitchen. She pulled back the tablecloth gently, allowing just enough sunlight to see SafeApe’s headtorch dim.

“Hello dearest,” she said, in a voice soft as a cloud. “All got a bit too much for you, hey?”

Emma gave her a teary nod as New Mother crawled under the table, filling the empty space and making herself at home.

“You know I don’t like loud people either.”

“Do they all hate me now?” Emma asked her.

New Mother smiled, but her eyes held back a bite of pain.

“No, they’re excited to meet you, and it all got a little too much is all. I don’t want you to worry.” They sat in silence for a few moments, Emma, New Mother and SafeApe. Emma’s panic subsided; her arms slipped from around SafeApe’s neck.

“Shall I tell them to go?” New Mother asked. Emma shook her head.

“Would you like to open some presents?”

Emma gave a nod and took New Mother’s hand. They both emerged from under the kitchen table, leaving SafeApe and the dancing spark alone.

“They scare Emma. Need me to protect.”

I the blink of an eye the dancing spark was the angel, she straightened SafeApe’s hardhat with a soft smile.

“You’ve protected her for so long. I can see how weary you are, all that devotion.” The way the angel spoke sounded almost envious as she stroked under his chin. SafeApe felt his arms beginning to cramp, he would have to get up from under the table soon.

“SafeApe never leave Emma.” He insisted.

“Can I show you something?”

He stared hard into the angel’s eyes trying to determine some manipulation. He saw nothing but being a creature made to protect his guard never dropped.

“SafeApe stay.”

“I want you to see Emma opening her presents. We’ll just watch, together.”

After more deliberation SafeApe nodded an agreement, he ducked his head out from the table, drawing himself up to his full height. The angel stood by him, the top of her head just shy of his elbow.

“I want you to see what you’ve given her.” She led him to the living room where a crowd had gathered around Emma. She sat, half sank into a reclining chair with a big present on her lap. Her eyes were red and puffy, SafeApe made a move to be by her side when the angel touched his arm.

“She’s ok.” The angel told him.

“OK everyone,” New Mother announced. “It’s time for Emma to open some presents. Who’s ready?!”

The kids let out whoops and cheers, bellies full of cake making their excitement more sedated. Emma, sniffling but now with a broad smile on her face began to open her first present, slowly at first, looking to New Mother for guidance then tearing at the wrapping until bits floated like confetti. A doll lay in her lap, black with big forearms, on its head it sported a little hardhat. Emma stared at it in wonder.

“Doll is little SafeApe?” he asked. The angel nodded, pointing him back toward Emma. New Mother knelt beside her.

“We heard you talk about him all the time, we know how much you love him, so now he can always be with you.”

Emma stared at her new doll, New Mother studied her face for a reaction. She hugged the doll tightly to her chest, new tears welling up. New Mother breathed a sigh of relief. Happy she hadn’t stepped over a boundary. SafeApe watched the event unfold, his heart hammering the inside of his chest. He removed his hardhat and clicked off the headtorch.

“You protected her through it all, so she could be here with a family who loves her as much as you do.” The angel’s words poured over him like warm water. His shoulders released their tension and his heartbeat slowed. The lifted weight made him realise just how tired he was.

“SafeApe go now?” He asked.

“SafeApe rest now.” The angel replied, the door of light already waiting for him. SafeApe looked back at Emma for the last time, little SafeApe was firmly nestled in her arm, New Mother stroked her hair as she tore into her next gift. He stepped through the door.