Freddie and the Wobbly Day Full of Prognostications

Prompts: Write about a character who ignores every warning. Secondary prompt: Set your story on a day when everything feels slightly wrong.

Freddie and the Wobbly Day Full of Prognostications

Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Clatter. Clunk.

“Geez. I think I just broke my alarm clock! Man, this is not a good a start to my day! I feel so discombobulated. My brain is wacky. My legs are wobbly. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I am supposed to be an eleven-year-old in good health. Look at me, talking to my dog.”

Shrimpy jumps on the bed.

“Hey Shrimpy boy, easy does it. You keep licking me like that and I won’t have to take a shower today. I should check my to-do list on my walk-about cassette recorder and see what adventures I had planned with no school today.”

Click. A deafening quiet follows. 

“Shrimpy, I’ve got nothing. No plans. Nada.I guess I’ll just have to create adventures on the go, so to speak. What do you think?”

Shrimpy lets out a pathetic yelp.

“Oh, that bad huh? Let’s see what the weather looks like. Of course, it would be drizzly and dreary on a day off. Maybe eating a little breakfast chow would do me some good. Remind me to get dressed later. I’ll just put on my slippers. Come boy, follow me into the kitchen.”

Slap, slap, slap. Kerplunk. Smack. A spinning sound.

“Here Shrimpy. Enjoy your premium refrigerated dog chow. The way I feel maybe I’ll just sit on the floor with you and eat my breakfast. My head sounds like a crowd at a football stadium. It’s so noisy my head aches. Oh, no! Mom left me a note:

‘Dear Freddie, I love you dearly. My boss called me into work early so I couldn’t make you a warm breakfast. Remember Dad will be home later tonight from his business trip. Please no goofy stuff today. Best to stay home. No outside adventures. Please I beg you to stay out of trouble. Don’t forget to walk Shrimpy on his leash; otherwise, he bolts and hides. Love, kisses and more love, Mom.’

“Mom, you’re stifling my adventurous spirit! Ok, so now what? I got to find something to eat. My head is throbbing. It’s like I hear strange voices inside my noggin. I guess I’ll have what’s in the refrigerator. For crying out loud: prunes, green juice, and kefir milk. Shrimpy your mush looks more inviting.”

Rattle. Rattle. The wagging of Shrimpy’s tail knocks over his bowl.

“Thanks, Shrimpy for wanting to share. I think I’ll just eat the chop suey from last week. It seems to smell ok. Hmmm. Tastes a little off. Anyway, maybe I'll get dressed. I’ll hold off on the shower for now. I think I’ll give Mark and Miles a call. See what they are up to. The M&M brothers are always good for something to do even if they are practical jokesters.”

Freddie picks up the phone dialing Mark and Miles.

“Hey, what’s up?”

 “Who is this? What do you want?”

The phone goes silent. Freddie redials.

“Hey, what’s up?

“Whoever you are we aren’t interested. Please stop calling.”

Agitated, Freddie speaks loudly into the phone.

“You bonehead. Stop with the joking. It’s me, Freddie.”

“Oh Freddie. Yeah, Freddie.”  

CLICK

“Well, Shrimpy it looks like it is going to be just you and me for a little walk. Not sure what the problem is with the M&M bros. After your walk, I can still have an adventure or two. Now I really hear distinct voices in my head. It’s killing me. Come on dog, time for you to do your duty.”

Shrimpy scampers to the door. 

“Hey Shrimpy slow down. Let me get the door. Where’s your leash?”

Freddie opens the door and Shrimpy bolts outside.

“Shrimpy wait! Oh man, now I have to go search for him in my pajamas and slippers!  How dare he think he is the master of me. It should be the other way around. Shrimpy, Shrimpy, where are you, you tiny little schnitzel dog? Remember, I rescued you from the homeless dog pound. I saved you from the sausage factory, you conniving weasel of a pet!”

Freddie grabs his recorder on the way out the door and turns it on. The drizzle stops. 

“I guess my adventures start now. Shrimpy, where are you? I suppose I should start my quest at the nearby marsh. Mom says he likes to forage in the brush. This marsh seems to be sprawling out even more nowadays. Looks like someone just planted a sign in that dense thicket of thorns. There’s no way I am going into it. I think the sign says, ‘Warning! No fishing, no swimming, no carousing, no trespassing!’ My head hurts more. A voice in my head says ‘None of those things apply. Go into the marsh, Freddie. Look for your dog’. 

“Silly me, I answer the voice saying, ‘Yup. Need to retrieve Shrimpy’.”

Freddie pulls back the brush flailing his body and face with thorns. He walks deep into the marsh.

“Shrimpy? Come on boy. Come to Freddie. My slippers are squishy now. No dog treats for you when we get home. Gee, this place is creepy. I hope I don’t run into any swamp muck men. I have to get out of here. Ouch! Ouch! The flies and mosquitos are eating me up. Shrimpy, I have a good mind to take you back to the pound.”

“Oh, I see the edge of this despicable marsh. Hey, what’s all this on my neck, arms and face? Yikes! What is this stuff? Egad! I can’t get them off. They’re leeches all over my body! Help! The voice in my head is laughing at me.”

Freddie sits down outside the edge of the marsh. Trying to calm himself and speaking into his walkabout recorder.

“Dad says when leeches stick to your body you can burn them off or peel them away quickly with a fingernail or credit card. Well, I don’t smoke so no matches. And, my dad says I am too young to have a credit card so I guess I’ll use my fingernails and flick them away.  This is so disgusting! Maybe I can get a rhythm going…one, two, three, flick. Again, one, two three, flick. Hey, I am getting pretty good at this. When I get home, I’ll put some iodine on my sores. Just wait until I get my hands on Shrimpy!”

Freddie continues his search for Shrimpy. He is at the gate of a nearby park, still in his pajamas and muddy slippers. The sun peaks through a few clouds.

“Ah yes, the good ole neighborhood park. I guess the rain kept everyone away today. Hey this sign looks new like it was just posted. It says, ‘Warning: A wild bear has been sighted Thursday. The park is closed. Proceed at your own risk’.  That voice in my head says, ‘Freddie, it’s Friday. Do you see any bears? Do you see any bones lying around? Look for your stump of a dog.’’

Freddie strolls to the densely wooded area of the park. He hears some rustling in the woods. He nervously calls out.

“Shrimpy, come out here boy. I hope you didn’t become a snack for that bear? I miss you! I promise I won’t send you back to the pound. Maybe I am seeing things but I thought I saw a big dark thing moving toward me. And it ain’t no wiener dog! Shrimpy, if you hear me run like the dickens! I am no hero for a dog. Maybe mankind, but not for any breathing tube of a dog with ears and feet!”

Freddie scrambles out of the woods and leaves the park.

“That was close. I didn’t see any bears, but I did hear something that sounded like a bull rushing out to gore me.  Maybe two bulls were coming at me?  I hope Shrimpy is okay. 

Maybe he went to snoop over at the old, abandoned mine. That would be an adventure in itself. It’s about a mile away just where the circus and carnival are set up. Thankfully, it’s not yet dark. With the slimy mud on my slippers, I should make good time as I slip slide away, ha-ha. If it weren’t for Shrimpy running away, this would be a fun time.”

Freddie is at the mine entrance. It is eerily quiet.

“Shrimpy, are you in there? It’s Freddie! Please come out! I promise to be your best buddy forever. No sausage factory.   I guess if you are not coming out, the voice in my head tells me to go in and get you even if a sign tells me not to.”

“Shrimpy, I am putting my life on the line for you. I don’t remember seeing this sign here before. It says, ‘Beware of falling rocks, oozing mud, and wild creatures’.” That annoying voice in my head says I can handle the oozing mud and a few pebbles pelting my head. Gee willikers! I think I disturbed some of the wild creatures. Yikes! They are messing with my hair and dumping poop all over me! Its bats! Bats are so nasty! I hate bats! Shrimpy, I’m out of here.  Maybe you can have a snack or two before they swarm over you and eat you for dinner!

Freddie races out of the cave all the way to the carnival sneaking inside to the magical arts tent.

“Phew! That was close. Poor Shrimpy. Alas, I knew him well.  Maybe I can ask for help? I wonder if this fortune-teller can help me out? Oh gosh, not another warning sign. ‘Beware, payment is due at time of service. No exceptions. I accept currency and valid credit cards. Or just maybe you might have something I would want in lieu of Uncle Sam’s coinage. Just ask me'.”

“That voice is driving me nuts! I could almost hear a sinister snickering in my head as I read the sign. I have to find my Shrimpy. I must ask for help from the fortune-teller. It’s getting so late. I see no other option. I am at my wit’s end. My head is hurting so much with these voices.”

The fortune-teller motions Freddie to sit in a chair at the other end of the table.

“Hello Freddie.  I am glad you came to me for help. I have been waiting for you for a very long time. As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that you have lost your dog, Fishy. Perhaps, he wanted to lose you instead, ha, ha. I think I can tell you where he is.”

“How do you know my name?  Did you give me those headaches with the voices in my head? Please help me!”

The fortune-teller smiles revealing his jagged rotten teeth and forked tongue.

Oh, that would be terrific if you knew where my Shrimpy is! Tell me! Tell me so I can get him and go home!”

“It is not quite that simple. There is the matter of payment for my services. What do you have on you at this very moment to give me for information on the whereabouts of your silly mut? I mean your cherished dog.”

“I don’t have anything on me. Just my muddy slippers and pajamas. I left my house with nothing.”

“Freddie, you do have something I want. I want it desperately. I have wanted it for a very long time.  It’s my dinnertime now. 

The fortune-teller belches.

“I need to make a little room for my meal. Pardon me while I devour you and your SOUL, Freddie! Your stupid, pathetic dog is at the bottom of my stomach. Come and take a look before I digest him and you!”

There is a commotion at the entrance to the magical arts tent. The M&M brothers burst inside.

“Miles! Mark!

“Freddie don’t listen to that wicked magician. Remember what our pastor said about fortune-telling? It is divination from the evil spirits! Listen to this warning because it could mean an eternity apart from God. ‘Do not let your people practice fortune-telling, or use sorcery, or interpret omens, or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells, or function as mediums or psychics or call forth the spirits of the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord’.” (1)

“How did you guys know I was here?”

Meanwhile, the fortune-teller’s body is transforming.

“After you called our house, we saw you storm out of your house after Shrimpy.  For a little fun we secretly dashed ahead of you to post those warning signs at the marsh, the park, and the cave for a little fun. But this last warning sign was not from Miles and me. It sounded like you would really need our help. It had ‘sinister’ written all over it! We were right! By the way, Shrimpy is in our back yard on a leash.”

“How come I didn’t know this was a demon sent to destroy me?”

“Freddie, because this demon was far more powerful than any you have faced; it can only be destroyed by fervent prayer and fasting. Remember Freddie…’(I) you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (me). (2)

Infuriated, the fortune-teller shouts at the three boys.

“See, I send you three unclean spirits like frogs coming out of my mouth. I am the beast; I am the prophet from the abyss. I will destroy all of you!”

Freddie, Mark and Miles collectively scream at the beast.

“Nope! No way! Not a chance! The three of us believe in one God, the Father Almighty…and in Jesus Christ His Son, who was born of a virgin, was crucified, died and buried. Who rose from the dead and now sits at God’s right Hand.  He has judged you, Satan, and He is victorious over death! He will come again to end your insipid, pitiful, earthly rule. Hear these words and now we command you in Christ’s Name to inflate yourselves and pop like the cheap ballons you really are.”

Kablam. Kaphoey. Hissing. Splat. More splat.

The explosion of the monster dragon propelled Freddie across the room knocking him out cold covering him head to toe in the beast’s innards. The M&M brothers were not in the crossfire of the entrails blast. 

“Look at this dragon, Mark. ‘…in her was found the blood of the prophet and saints and many (all) who were slain on the earth’. (3) 

Yes and Freddie is covered in its guts, too. We will have to hose him down.

Looks like you and I will have to carry Freddie home and tuck him in his bed, ha, ha.”

A door opens.

“Freddie! Wake up! What are you doing sleeping at 6:00 pm? Are you okay? Your pajamas are soaked. You must have had quite the fever.”

Freddie bleary eyed and disheveled wakes up.

  “Dad, you’re home! Is Mom home too? I don’t feel so well. I think I got sick from eating last week’s chop suey. And Shrimpy was a real handful today. You wouldn’t believe how I had to chase him all over the place.”

“Yes, Freddie, I can tell by your very muddy slippers. Get up now because mom is making shrimp chow mein for dinner. By the way, feed Shrimpy too. I think he’s hungry because he keeps licking your toes.”

-END-

PS. No leeches, bears, bats, or schnitzel dogs were actually hurt in the writing of this story. (smile)

1. Deuteronomy 18: 10b-12a, NLT

2. Philippians 4: 13, NLT

3. Revelation 18: 24, NLT

NLT=New Living Translation

Author: Pete Gautchier

Acknowlgement: Reedsyprompts.com