Crime on Hold

Am I digging up the past? If I try to find what happened in my criminal record, I asked the officer, yes, so it doesn't matter. I can't get a good behavior certificate. He said, no, that incident is long been sealed by the courts I said okay, and I walked out empty handed, I had done all the paperwork for them, but they didn't want to give me my good behavior certificate. So I was not getting what I wanted that would I Help me get a job that the lady had suggested. I get since I do have a criminal record but so goes to show something strange was going on behind the scenes on, I walked back up the hill and back home and just went on with my daily life knowing my ex-husband was still behind bars in a hospital. Actually, he had a room, he wasn't in a cell, he had So\n I don't wanna go too much into that but I hope he is well. I don't know anything else but so and I wanted to find a job that I could manage, with still getting my benefits and so I could only work 4 hours a day, 5 days a week and I applied for cleaning at a hospital, but they all they say, is just check your emails, keep checking. But there's nothing new. And it's been 4 months so I can give up on that and I had a tutoring lead, they put me on their panel of tutors, after I told them what subjects I would be able to teach. I guess they liked my wording and immediately hired me at least put me on the panel. And I was proud of that so I could actually say. I had a real job but I'd never worked because no student was chosen for me because they were based all the way across the country and I didn't think anyone. Would order a tutor from that company in my area? So I just took myself off the panel and so now I am jobless but I still have enough money to get by with you know. Help from friends but and my family. So actually had a lot more money than I used to have because of the fact that I became my own payee through referral from my Doctor. And then all of a sudden, they were telling me when I found out. I had extra money in my account at the program base building. I told them that I wanted to use it as a security deposit and move out of my.

Supervised, living arrangement and? They immediately said, oh, go find a landlord will subsidize you and so I pay low-rent and I get like twice as much money after bills to spend each month as I had before and I don't spend as much as cigarettes as I did before, so I have a big chunk of money that I buy luxury. Items, every month now with and so I was doing well, but I still wanted to forward myself. I had a business I had started with my paintings and I wanted to keep that up with a website. I had a podcast. I had books on Amazon and you know a blog. And so I was very present on the internet. And I was verified on Facebook. And I was called a content creator by Facebook and all these things. The books paintings, the podcast, the blog I could make money, I don't know if very much but if I wanted to I could sign up for monetizing these things, I was in a art show but not one of my own, but I did sign up and submit paintings if they wanted to take me in an art show downtown in my city. In a gallery, I was only up in the art show before because I was a member, but I had an art show in a hospital, one time of only my stuff, I was proud of that, my family came and bought pretty good priced paintings and my family's been very supportive. We've had our ups and Downs, but I just wanted to say that I'm at a point where I'm no longer hounding on people for the way they treated me. I'm looking back and seeing good things instead of bad and just feeling safe and secure and happy and normal which is what I yearn for, strive toward everyday. My thing is I want to be myself normal and real. Happy successful and free and if I am that then I'm satisfied. I don't need to be bothered everyday by everyone else's stuff. Request or demands or you know, nonsense? It is really getting to be a little much and even to the point where a lot of times I'm on the edge of. These are my neighbors. I mean. I'm talking about, moving out of here and the landlord told me not to talk, directly text him although he gave me his phone number. But to text a different neighbor if I have a problem and he's supposed to tell him what the problem is, but he doesn't so also I'm supposed to have an inspection by the city, and it's supposed to be due by now. Already a week passed and there's no word from the landlord, he had relayed a message to me that he had to do repairs before he could schedule the inspection, so I'm thinking if the inspection doesn't pass on time, I may have to move and I really wouldn't feel upset about that. If I had to move and I have a place that might be still. Open that I can move into, but I don't know my neighbor is kind of clingy and Doesn't want me to go. So we moved here together in the same building, but so he has developed friendships around the neighborhood that I won't go near these people. But so he is very outgoing and I'm more business-oriented so he's more sociable around town and makes friends while I concentrate on further like personal development. So that's just our difference between us. And although we've known each other for 20 years, you know, I'm not going to dwell on that, but I just want him to be safe and I can't leave until I like know that he's all right, so I'm not going to leave him here in this neighborhood, which is a dangerous place actually, so and All the obsessions I've had over the past 2 years. We've lived in this area about whether it was the right decision. And all that I'm just gonna let that go. And I think I've come to a point where I can just be happy and relax until you know, whatever the next episode around around here. Because you never know what's up with all these people? What kind of zany ideas they have or? What I have to deal with, you know.So wish me luck and I was verified on Facebook. And I was called the content creator by Facebook and all these things. The books paintings, the podcast, the blog I could make money, I don't know if very much but if I wanted to I could sign up for monetizing these things, I was in a art show but not one of my own, but I did sign up and submit paintings if they wanted to take me in an art show downtown in my city. In a gallery, I was only up in the art show before because I was a member, but I had an art show in a hospital, one time of only my stuff, I was proud of that, my family came and bought pretty good priced paintings and my family's been very supportive. We've had our ups and Downs, but I just wanted to say that I'm at a point where I'm no longer hounding on people for the way they treated me. I'm looking back and seeing good things instead of bad and just feeling safe and secure and happy and normal which is what I yearn for, strive toward everyday. My thing is I want to be myself normal and real. Happy successful and free and if I am that then I'm satisfied. I don't need to be bothered everyday by everyone else's stuff. Request or demands or you know, nonsense? It is really getting to be a little much and even to the point where a lot of times I'm on the edge of. These are my neighbors. I mean. I'm talking about, moving out of here and the landlord told me not to talk, directly text him although he gave me his phone number. But to text a different neighbor if I have a problem and he's supposed to tell him what the problem is, but he doesn't so also I'm supposed to have an inspection by the city, and it's supposed to be due by now. Already a week passed and there's no word from the landlord, he had relayed a message to me that he had to do repairs before he could schedule the inspection, so I'm thinking if the inspection doesn't pass on time, I may have to move and I really wouldn't feel upset about that. If I had to move and I have a place that might be still. Open that I can move into, but I don't know my neighbor is kind of clingy and Doesn't want me to go. So we moved here together in the same building, but so he has developed friendships around the neighborhood that I won't go near these people. But so he is very outgoing and I'm more business-oriented so he's more sociable around town and makes friends while I concentrate on further like personal development. So that's just our difference between us. And although we've known each other for 20 years, you know, I'm not going to dwell on that, but I just want him to be safe and I can't leave until I like know that he's all right, so I'm not going to leave him here in this neighborhood, which is a dangerous place actually, so and All the obsessions I've had over the past 2 years. We've lived in this area about whether it was the right decision. And all that I'm just gonna let that go. And I think I've come to a point where I can just be happy and relax until you know, whatever the next episode around around here. Because you never know what's up with all these people? What kind of zany ideas they have or? What I have to deal with, you know. So with me, and next year?