Snow Fall

Alex and James sat side by side in front of the fireplace, watching the snow falling outside of the gorgeous floor-to-ceiling window. Neither of them speaking, both content to allow the silence to stretch between them.

At the outset, Alex never expected to fall for someone like James. In fact, she never expected to fall for someone again. Especially not after her experience with relationships. She had written off her love life as a hopeless cause and determined to commit herself to her career in journalism.

For James, this relationship was just as unexpected. He decided, long ago, to remove himself from the whole commitment scene. Despite his experience with relationships being quite different from Alex’s, he had still decided that a love life wasn’t for him. He came to the decision after realizing that he was not as invested in the respective relationships as they women were. But, with Alex, all of that was different; if anything, he didn’t feel invested enough.

And now, here they were. Both blindsided by the mysterious way in which love has swept them up. Contemplating their next move.

Alex was sure that this was the start of something quite different from her experience with love. She knew she wanted to continue things with him and that they both deserved to see where this could go, but she was torn given the conversations they had had thus far. He had a very different lifestyle than she did. Where she was career driven, he was more creative. But she knew she loved that about him. She had never expected to be swept off her feet – something she only heard of in fairy tales. But where is she supposed to go from here?

“Penny for your thoughts?” James asks with a small chuckle.

Alex sighs and moves herself out of his embrace and into a sitting position. She smiles attempting to disarm him. “Well,” she starts hesitantly, “I was just wondering how this is supposed to work between us when I get back to the city. I mean, not to put any pressure on you. Or this. Or us!” Ugh! Alex tells herself, internally, noting her dire need to learn when to stop talking.

James laughs a bit harder. “Oh, Alex. I don’t think you fully understand how I feel about you. I’ve tried my best to show you that I want this. I want to see what the future has in store for us. I’d say it’s something that we both deserve. Especially given everything that we’ve been through.”

Alex leans back into his arms and lets out a contented sigh. She chastises herself, realizing that she should know better by now. She’s aware of how he’s shown her his intentions. He showed her before he told her. To herself, she admitted that she was so apprehensive about the possibility of a future with someone particularly after her last relationship with Pete. She thought she knew his intentions, too. Only, at that time she was wrong. Her paranoia made her question why James should be any different than Pete. At the same time, she was torn because her pragmatism, a byproduct of journalistic career, told her that he had yet to prove her wrong.

As if he could read her thoughts, he pulled her closer and said, “I know you’re hesitant to try this, and I know why. I know Pete hurt you and made you terrified of the possibility of having a future with someone else. Hell, I’m sure that right before it ended, he was who you pictured your future with. And I know that I’m sorry you had to go through something like that.

“All I can say is that if we are going to continue, we need to trust each other. And I can say, hand over heart, that I will not violate that trust. I know how precious a gift it is when someone places their trust in you.”

Alex can feel herself stop breathing. For crying out loud, this guy literally takes her breath away. Her best friend, Mia, would be dying of excitement if she knew exactly what Alex felt at that moment.

Alex separates from him again and gives herself a moment before she replies, “Thank you, really. For all of that. I’m sure it can’t be easy reassuring an overthinker like me.

And I promise that I will try my best not to assume the worst. I want you to know and understand that it’s not my intention to make any sort of comparison, because you are two different people. But I’m not perfect, and I can’t promise that I won’t overthink at some of the worst moments.”

“I understand entirely,” James quickly asserts. “You’ll see, we’ll be fine.”

“What about everyone here?” Alex asks with worried eyes.

“What about everyone here?” James challenges.

“Well, for starters, my mom, my sister, the kids, your cousin and her husband, their kids; all of them will give us such a hard time if they find out about us and the endeavor we decided to undertake.”

James lets out a hearty laugh and tells her, “’Endeavor we decided to undertake,’ what on earth? I think you’re going to have to dumb it down for me. But, to answer your concerns, I think they’ll be thrilled. Of course, if things don’t go as well as we intend, then there will be some hard feelings on both sides. But we’ve both dealt with worse. We’ll just face them if, or when, they find out.”

At that, they both heard the door open to the library just outside the study they were currently hiding in. They could hear voices coming in as the others entered.

Alex practically jumped out of her own skin, as fast as she moved. James was slightly slower to get up from their comfy spot.

“Alex,” James whispered as she started walking towards the door. “Don’t go near there. They’re going to hear you.” He wasn’t wrong. The place was made of wood and, though it was well maintained, was very old. Making incredibly loud creaking sounds whenever someone was passing though and not walking on the carpet. Of course, this would make Alex’s tiptoeing incredibly loud. Alex stopped about five feet from the door right when it swung open.

It was her 15-year-old niece, Liza. The oldest of her nieces and nephews. She and Alex had a tight bond – it was almost like they were mother and daughter.

“Annalex!” Liza exclaimed her nickname to her aunt (a nickname that had been around since Liza’s first words). Alex watched as shock and surprise washed over Liza’s face when she realized that she had just walked in on Alex’s and James’s secret meeting.

Alex tightly shut her eyes, attempting to erase the scenario. She knew that she would have to explain it all now. Well, to Liza, at least. She never knew what kind of mood Liza was in anymore – adolescence had rather masked her ability to be truthful and open. Alex muttered a silent prayer before opening her eyes again.

When she opened them, everyone was standing in front of her. Of course they were. Alex didn’t know what she was thinking. Liza had let out a loud enough exclamation to draw the attention of all the others in the library. And now, here they were, all eyes on her. Demanding an explanation. Her sister the most shocked of all.

Alex opened her mouth to say something, and suddenly, she couldn’t say anything. Was it stress? Was she being overwhelmed and having a panic attack?

“Alex?” asked her sister, Nikki, concern all over her face. But Alex couldn’t respond. It was like her voice was suddenly gone.

“Alex?” Nikki prompted her again.

“Alex?” James started to chime in. Suddenly his voice was lost in the mix of all of the voices saying her name with the same questioning concern.

Alex shut her eyes, hoping against hope, that when she reopened them this time, that she would at least be able to speak. They were still all calling her name.

She opened them again and the room was drenched in darkness. The fire in the fireplace was dying, reduced to its last embers.

Alex sat up, looking all around her. Everyone was gone except for James. He was sitting in front of the couch staring at the dying embers. He sat up and grabbed Alex’s arms as she started to sit herself up.

“Alex,” he said sounding relieved. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for the past few hours. You fell asleep.”

“Asleep?” Alex asks emphatically. “I was just…. I thought my sister was…,” she trailed off.

“No, you fell asleep,” James responds with his light chuckle and devilishly handsome grin. “But I’m glad you’re awake now.”

Alex was so confused and disoriented that she wasn’t sure what had happened. It could have been her anxiety at the thought of telling her family about them, or any of the other factors that brought her to overthink. But it was clear that these thoughts presented themselves to her in her sleep and manifested in her dreams.

She wasn’t clear on what the future held for her and James, but she knew that it would be something to see and explore. She resolved to give it a chance. After all, you never know what love has in store for you if you never try.

Since Alex didn’t offer a response to James, he simply pulled her in closer. And so, they sat, continuing to stare out of the floor to ceiling window, watching the snow fall.