An impossible assignment

I sat down at my desk, and opened my laptop. The bright glow of the monitor lighting the bedroom behind me, otherwise lit only by the dim glow of the moon behind thick, grey clouds. My blank document stared back at me, mocking me with its emptiness. I looked at my watch, it was just past 10pm.

Despite the late hour and approaching deadline, inspiration wasn’t striking. I opened my notebook and cycled through my ideas, hoping I missed a stroke of genius. A list of tired, uninspiring ideas, written during many restless nights stared back at me. I slammed the notebook shut and turned back to my laptop. Maybe a coffee would help?

I stood up and walked to the kitchen, feeling the cold emptiness of the apartment, abandoned by my friends who were already home for the holidays. My suitcase lay next to the door, haphazardly packed with half my belongings. As my espresso slowly dispensed into its tiny cup, the delicious smell of roasted coffee filling my nostrils, my stomach rumbled. I opened the fridge, hoping some food had miraculously appeared since I last checked it an hour ago. I had not had time to go to the grocery store. The miniscule coffee would have to do.

Back at my desk, I mulled my options. With little over an hour left until the deadline, and over a thousand words still to be written, I had to focus. I pulled out my phone, checking my texts. Nothing new, but my friends had posted some pictures enjoying the winter holidays with their family. They looked so happy and relieved. I tapped my fingers on my desk, feeling the cool wood of the underused surface. My laptop screen went idle and I quickly started it back up. The cursor blinked back at me tantalisingly. My stomach rumbled again. I can’t focus on the assignment without eating.

Following the corridor back to my grimly understocked kitchen, I rummaged around the empty cupboards and emerged victorious with a half-eaten family pack of ready salted crisps. This will do for now, I can have a proper meal once my assignment is submitted. Shoving some crisps in my mouth, crumbs falling down my sweater, I pondered my seemingly impossible task. I glanced at the clock again, 10:53pm, the final stretch. 

Once again staring at my laptop, I placed my fingers on the keyboard, hoping inspiration would come. My hands slowly moved to form the semblance of a mediocre title. At this point, that will have to do. As I wrote, the sound of the clicking keys grew more intense with each word as I dumped every thought I had onto the page. First paragraph done, I stood up to look out of the window. The moon illuminated the quiet street downstairs as the town took a momentary rest from the hustle and bustle of university students going to classes and heading to the university bars. Around me, the apartments all remained unlit, seemingly cold with the absence of friend groups coming together for dinner or enjoying a quiet night.

As the deadline loomed closer, I waited for further inspiration to strike. I thought about going home myself, to the cold empty house I was raised in, surrounded by vast fields where horses and cows grazed during the day. The thought of quiet solitary days filled with chores, momentarily interrupted by lonely meals loomed over me as I sat back down. I reached for the crisps, taking another handful while I read what I had written on the page. I continued to build the story, drafting a few more uninspired paragraphs that I would have to come back to later. With half the word count done, I decided to take another break.

I laid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The thought of submitting this assignment left me with a sense of relief, but also dread. The finality of pressing that menacing red "Submit" button meant that I was done with this stage of my life. I would be free, but also stuck having to decide on what I would be doing next. Going back home was not an option, but neither was staying here. The clock now read 11:32pm. 

My motivation wavering, I picked up my laptop and brought it to bed, tucking myself under the warm, inviting covers. Surrounding me in the bedroom, lay the other half of my belongings, which I had not yet packed away. The small amount of furniture I had acquired in 3 years also remained here, looking dilapidated and abandoned, future destination, and owner, undecided.

With 20 minutes to go, the words poured out of me. While the quality remained questionable, the throes of panic allowed the rest of the story to flow through me, with my laptop as the unfortunate vessel. The word count triumphantly inched upward as, tantalisingly, did the clock. Reviewing would have to be skipped for this assignment, as with all my previously submitted ones, but the story was complete. A quick spell check fixed the final and plentiful spelling and grammar mistakes of a last minute desperate attempt at cohesiveness, and my cursor hovered over the submit button. With only 2 minutes until the deadline, I hesitated. A feeling of dread trickled down my spine and I couldn’t help but shiver. Maybe handing this assignment in was a mistake, maybe I could delay the inevitable for just a few more months.

I clicked the button and closed the laptop. My fate sealed, I put on my coat, shoved my earbuds into my ears, and headed out. The first fleck of snow gently hit my cheek as I was walking down the street, looking for a place that remained open past midnight on Christmas Eve. While the air remained cold, and my future uncertain, a feeling of calm and tranquillity settled down deep in my stomach. I didn’t know where I was headed, I didn’t know if anything remained open, but I couldn’t help the burst of excitement at the feeling of endless possibility. My watch read 12:15am.