Who Started the Fire?

We all stood there, watching the building come crashing to the ground as the flames quickly took over.Some of the women cried. Some of the men vented aloud, wondering where they were going to work now. How were they going to put food on the table for their families? A group in the back of the crowd were cracking jokes about the entire situation. They were not quiet either, making sure everyone could hear them.

“Hey Monte, you think we should put together a thank you for Janet? I guess I am getting that denied vacation after all!”

“Heck, she should get a raise and promotion! She single-handedly got us all a paid vacation and a building renovation!”

More employees were joining in, making comments and laughing. Everyone was blaming Janet for the charred remnants of building in front of us. Yes, she ultimately was the one that struck the match, but it was my fault. As I stood there with everyone else, staring at the spectacle before us, Grace walked up behind me.

As if she could read my thoughts, she said, “This is not your fault, Patrick. Come on, let’s get out of here.” Not giving me the option, she grabbed me by the arm and guided me through the crowd to my car. She was wrong though. Although she was the only other one that knew the whole story, I know that deep down she knew the truth. She was just trying to make me feel better. This was all my fault.

It all started a few months ago. Janet was a new hire in reception. I would walk past her everyday as I made my way to my desk.She was sweet; greeting everybody, attempting to get to know her coworkers, the works. Very few returned the effort and enthusiasm. While Janet smiled through it all, I could tell that it hurt. I could tell that she needed someone, anyone, to reach out to her. Maybe she was lonely. Maybe she was scared. Or maybe it was something else entirely. If no one was going to make the effort, I figured I could at least try. Plus, I had recently read a proverb from Lao Tzu that stated, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” Why not put it to the test? Little did I know how true the last statement would prove to be, and how horribly wrong it would go.

I started by greeting and waving to Janet every morning.Sometimes she would initiate the interaction. Sometimes I would. Janet always beamed a little extra at this. After about a week, I threw in some small talk. While I never thought that we would ever be friends outside of work, it was nice to start my day with a pleasant conversation. At times, I would even strike up a conversation at lunch.We might talk about plans we had about for the weekend, the weather, a movie we had watched recently, or ask basic questions about each other’s family. All superficial things. As timed past, it seemed that Janet would seek me out more often at lunch. It did not strike me as odd at the time as there were only so many places to sit and people to talk to. Knowing what I know now, this was the first sign.

May rolled around and, per usual, the office made sure to get cards and flowers for everyone in the department for National Receptionist Day. Nothing too special, just a little something to show our appreciation and acknowledgement of what they did. When Janet received her card and flowers, she came over to my desk to thank me.

“Weird,” I thought to myself, “Did she go around and thank everyone individually?” A little unusual, but a sweet gesture. I had lunch with my friend Grace that day. I decided to ask her.

“Hey, did Janet thank you for the receptionist gift today?”

After taking a moment to swallow her food, Grace responded, “No, why?”

“Well, she came to my desk to thank me.” After thinking for a moment I added, “Maybe she’s still making the rounds.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Grace responded with obvious disinterest. For some reason, I just could not shake the interaction from my thoughts. It bothered me. Why did she thank me? I did not even belong to any of the committees that did those types of things.She had to know that. I was just an obligatory participant. I tried to shake the weird feeling. If Grace thought nothing of it, maybe I should too. Now I realize, this was the second sign.

After this, Janet started acting friendlier towards me.On top of our morning conversations and talking at lunch, she started leaving me notes and little things at my desk.Never any thing too crazy.Sometimes it would be a cookie because she had been baking the night before. Sometimes it was a new playlist she had stumbled upon that she thought I would enjoy. Sometimes they were little trinkets that made her think of me when she saw them, so she “just had to get it for me.” Eventually, these acts started becoming uncomfortable. I never saw Janet do these things for anyone else.

I asked Grace, “Do you think I should go to HR about this? I feel like it might be starting to cross some boundaries.”

“Because she brought you some of her leftovers?Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little bit, Patrick? It’s just a Tupperware of last nights’ spaghetti.”

“It’s not just about the spaghetti,” I sighed, “It’s everything. She only does it for me.”

Grace started looking a little annoyed. Honestly, I did not blame her. This was not the first time that I had brought this topic up.“Listen Patrick. Go to HR, don’t go to HR. I really couldn’t care less either way. Frankly, I think that Janet is just trying to be nice and you are freaking out about it for some unknown reason. If it really makes you that uncomfortable, do something about it. Talk to Janet, go to HR. Do something. But if you’re not going to do anything, then shut up about it, okay.”

I knew Grace was right. But what did I want to do? Janet truly was making me uncomfortable, but maybe I was overreacting.Maybe Grace was right. I decided to ignore my gut instinct and follow Grace’s.There was no way that what Janet was doing was that bad.

This was my first mistake.

October rolled around, which meant that it was my birthday. I am not one for celebrating birthdays. Usually, I keep it pretty under wraps. Somehow, Janet figured out that it was my birthday. When I got to work, she had left a cupcake and balloon on my desk.Nothing too abnormal except for the fact that I could not figure out how she knew it was my birthday. I never told her. I know that none of the other staff did. And, she did not have access to the employee records. At lunch, a group of us, including Janet, were all eating at the same table. Janet asked about grabbing dinner after work and even suggested carpooling. I had thought she was talking to everyone at the table. I agreed to it as I had nothing else going on that night. This was my second mistake.

Janet picked me up at my place around 6:00. I had been dressed rather casually as I assumed we were going somewhere the equivalent to a bar and grill. Janet drove up dressed to the nines. I cannot remember the last time I had seen a dress so fancy.When I opened the car door and got in, I could tell by the look on her face that she was not impressed. No comments were made though.

I looked in the backseat and saw that we were the only ones in the car. “Where is everyone else?”

Janet, with a look of surprise, responded, “What do you mean, silly? It’s just us.You and me.” And with that she took us to a local, high-end surf and turf restaurant. An establishment that I knew for a fact required reservations a month in advance.How had Janet gotten a table here tonight? The entire dinner was uncomfortable for me and to say I was relieved when it was over would be an understatement. Finally, it was over and Janet dropped me off back home.

While I had, had what was probably the most awkward and uncomfortable night of my life, Janet had seemingly had the best night of hers.The entire dinner she talked nonstop.She was a smiles and laughs. To everyone around her, it seemed as if Janet was on top of the world. Looking back, this was the third sign of things to come.

The event that tipped the scale was at Christmas time.This holiday would turn out to be the straw that ultimately broke the camel’s back. Per tradition, our company had their annual Secret Santa gift exchange.Much to my horror, I had drawn Janet’s name. On the flip side, much to my delight, Grace had drawn my name. Gifts from her were always fun and brought joy to my day.She really knew me and her gifts always brought a laugh.

Me having to figure out gifts for Janet was an entirely different story. Despite her working at the company for about a year now, and despite us talking just about every work day, I did not know much about her beyond the basics. This posed some difficulties for me as I had to come up with a week’s worth of gifts for her. Needless to say, most of her gifts tended to be rather generic gifts for a female. Even with Grace’s assistance picking out the gifts for Janet, I struggled immensely and the results were not great. Still, Janet somehow knew that I was her Secret Santa and seemed to be on the verge of tears every time she opened one of her gifts. Every time, it was like she was opening the greatest gift that she had ever received.

At one point, I heard Janet complaining because she had drawn Jerry from accounting. I saw the gifts she had gotten him. Much like the gifts that I had gotten Janet, the gifts for Jerry were on the generic end of things. Maybe even more so than mine. I am pretty sure that man got three horribly boring ties that week. This was typical, as it was more the holiday spirit that we enjoyed rather than the gifts themselves. Any other year, the boring ties would not have caught my attention. They did this year though because along with Grace’s gifts, every day I received an elaborate, heartfelt, personalized gift from Janet.And not just things she painted my name on, or that incorporated things that I enjoyed. You could tell she spent a lot of money on the gifts.

Even Grace started realizing how uncomfortable the situation was getting. Boundaries were being crossed. Grace became upset about it and sent me a message saying how she was sorry for not believing me before and dismissing all the concerns that I had aired. I reassured her that I was not upset about it.It was good to know that someone was seeing what I was seeing though. It made me feel less paranoid and surprisingly took some of the stress off.I now had someone to shoulder this burden with me.

That Friday, as everyone was waiting for the holiday party to begin, I caught up with Grace in the breakroom. With all the craziness of the week, we had not been able to see each other at all. Any contact we had was through texting or messages. It was good to be able to talk in person. Especially since Janet had managed to take most of the joy out of the week for us.

“Patrick, I’m so sorry that I didn’t believe you before.”

I chuckled a little and reassured her, “Grace, it’s fine.I probably would have been saying the same things if I was in your shoes. I just do not what to do. Things are getting out of hand now. You should see the watch that she gave me yesterday. I am pretty sure that the cost would eat up several of my paychecks.”

“You have to do something about this. This is unnatural.What if it gets to some unsafe level?For all you know, she is some crazy stalker.”

This thought had occurred to me several times. I had kept dismissing it because I thought I was being paranoid.

“I know. Is it too late though? Should I have said something earlier? By letting it go on this long, was that me saying I was okay with everything? What if HR decides that it is out of their hands?”

Grace sighed as she tried to process all these thoughts. “I have no idea what to tell you Patrick. I’m sorry, I really don’t. I wish I did.” Then she hugged me as she said, “All I know is that Janet has to go.”

As Grace finished saying this, a hysterical scream came from the door. Janet had walked in on the last bit of the conversation and she was irate. Her face was red. Her whole body shook and her voice quivered. Whatever was in her hand was now unidentifiable due to the grip that she had on it.

“How dare you?” Janet screamed. “After all that I have done for you? With what we have between us?”

I put up my hands defensively and ask, “Janet, what are you talking about?”

As the question came out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. Grace looked at me apprehensively. Janet began to sputter, unable to get the words out.

Grace stepped in, “Janet, just calm down. I am sure we can clear things up here. I am sure that there is some sort of misunderstanding here.”

For whatever reason, this last statement is what did it for Janet. She again began to scream, “Misunderstanding? Misunderstanding? Oh, there is a misunderstanding alright. Apparently, I misunderstood the connection between us Patrick. Apparently, I misunderstood everything that we had together.The life we were going to live.The joys and memories that the two of us were going to share as we grew old. Apparently, I misunderstood that while you were my everything, I was your nothing.”

I was at a loss for words at this point. I had known that something was off, but where was she coming up with all of this? What we had? The life we were going to live? We were going to grow old together?

All I could think to say was, “Janet, I don’t understand.”

Through a sudden outburst of tears, Janet yelled, “Of course, why would you understand? I love you, Patrick!” She ran out of the room. Grace and I just stared at each other. Both of us were overcome with disbelief from what had just happened.

We then heard someone yell from another part of the office, “Janet, stop!” There were screams. People could be heard running. Someone was yelling, “Everyone out!” Grace and I ran out of the break room and that is when we saw the flames and smoke.Janet had started a fire and the flames were growing fast. Everyone evacuated.

Now, here I was, with Grace walking me to my car.All I could think about was how this was my fault. Where was it that I had gone wrong? How could I have prevented all of this? How could, what I thought was one small act of kindness, lead to such chaos and destruction?