The Peacemaker and the Snowfall

Sydney was hiding in her childhood bedroom and practicing the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her last week.

“In for 8,” she inhaled, “out for 12.” She expelled her breath with her eyes closed before repeating the process all over again. Her therapist had taught her to use this technique whenever life got overwhelming for her.

She opened her eyes after 5 minutes and saw the familiar lavender color that she painted herself when she was a teenager. The Post-it notes with inspirational quotes were still in place, though most were curling at the edges from old age.

Her breathing had finally regulated when she heard two car doors slamming and the rise of voices could be heard from her closed window.

Her brothers had arrived.

This was the first Christmas since their mother passed away last year. The three of them had drifted apart after the funeral and had gone on to focus on their own lives. Sydney knew her mother would hate to see how estranged they were, and she knew it would be up to her to make things right.

Her older brother Lance walked through the door first, followed closely by her younger brother Prince. The two started bickering before the front door could slam shut.

Sydney started her breathing exercises all over again, determined not to reach for the emergency bottle of Zoloft that was hidden in the bottom of her purse.

She took another 15 minutes to collect herself before heading downstairs to face her brothers head on.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she saw them in a familiar stand-off. Lance was sitting in the chair that her mother used to occupy, while Prince stood by the door with a smirk on his face. Prince was 5 inches taller than their big brother and he took every opportunity to tower over him.

Lance was always the serious one while Prince was the exact opposite, always joking and smiling and teasing everyone he came across. As the middle child, and only girl, Sydney was a mixture of both. She couldn’t goof off as much as Prince, but she found time to have fun in between studying and getting good grades.

With Momma gone, she knew her new role would be keeping them in line and keeping their family together. Based on this little reunion, she knew her work was cut out for her.

“Merry Christmas Moody boys,” Sydney said entering the hostile environment.

The two men grudgingly broke their stare to turn to their sister. They couldn’t help a small smile at the use of the nickname their mother used for them.

“Happy holidays sis,” Prince said swooping her in a hug and sweeping her off her feet.

“Put me down,” she said with mock annoyance. Prince spun her around a couple more times for good measure before putting her down in front of Lance.

"Hey little sis,” the elder said giving Sydney a chaste kiss on the cheek.

She gave him a tight hug, knowing it would make him mildly uncomfortable. Lance was averse to touch and could be awkward with his family. But Sydney was the exception. He knew how important physical touch was to her so he tolerated her hugs, for as long as he could.

“So, you wanna tell us why we’re here?” Prince said breaking the tender moment. “Some of us had plans this holiday.”

“Big surprise,” Lance said with a scoff. “Let me guess, dinner at Hooters and then taking a waitress home? You’re so predictable.”

“At least I know my bed will be warm tonight. Can you same the same?”

“How bout you shut the,” Lance started moving in the direction of Prince.

“Hey! Not in Momma’s house, you know the rules,” Sydney said standing in between the 2 men. She had one hand on each chest, just like she often when they were growing up. And just like then, she was tired of their foolishness.

“Sit down, both of you,” she said sternly.

Once they sat and gave her their undivided attention, she pointed around the room.

“Didn’t either of you notice that the house is decorated? It’s just how Momma did it every year. She would slap all of us upside the head for letting so much time go by without seeing each other.”

“What do you mean. We talk all the time…” Prince started.

“A. We only talk because I initiate it. and B. talking isn’t the same as seeing each other face to face. We haven’t even gotten together to go through Momma’s stuff,” Sydney interrupted.

“We told you that’s not necessary. We trust you to do whatever you think is best,” Lance said.

“You said the same thing when it came to planning Momma’s funeral,” Sydney said looking at them both. “You do remember that I’m not an only child, right? Just because I’m a girl, doesn’t mean the two of you could leave me to do all the dirty work. Do you know how many times I wish I had my big brother to lean on? Or my little brother to calm me down when I was worried I was making the wrong decisions? I needed both of you, I still do. I think that’s why Momma wanted us to get together this year.”

“What are you talking about Syd?” Prince asked.

Sydney reached into her back pocket and thrust a red envelope in Prince’s hand.

“This was sent to my house a couple days ago. Momma must have made arrangements before she passed.”

“Hello my darling girl!

Mommy misses you so much and I hope this letter makes you smile instead of cry. I know you and I know your brothers, so I know that those Moody boys are ‘busy’ doing whatever it is they’re doing. I know they love you, but I also know their M.O. is to hide from their emotions and let the women in their lives make the hard decisions.

With me gone, I know this now falls on you. I’ll admit, I loved being needed and I felt like it’s a mom’s duty to shield her babies from pain any chance she gets. However, you are not their mother. You make them boys help you baby girl!

Christmas was always the time where we made each other a priority, and I want that tradition to continue as long as possible. Make them boys come to my house on Christmas Eve. Decorate the house, you know where everything is. My family will not fall apart just because I’m no longer there. You all need each other now more than ever.

I believe in you baby girl. Give the boys my love and take some for yourself.

Love, Mommy”

Sydney had snuck out of the house before Prince could finish reading the letter. She’d read it herself multiple times when it first arrived and bawled her eyes out. Leave it to their mother to leave her one more task. She did anything for her mother in life and knew she would do anything for her in death as well.

She stood outside with her back to the front door and took a deep breath of the cold air with her eyes closed. She didn’t know how long she stood there but she opened her eyes when she felt the barest touch on her cheek, then another on her lips.

It had started to snow, and the flakes felt like kisses from her mother at a time when she needed them most.

She heard the front door open and waited for her brothers to join her. They stood one on each side of her and held her hands. The three of them watched the snow fall together, and Sydney knew they would be okay.