Stars Over Wiggly Nose

The comfy diner chair held me as I watched the sun set. The sky has a way of telling you the day is ending—but only if she feels like it. That day, I believed it did, just to comfort me. The sky was painted, like an aquarelle painting of a prism that had been left in the wind before drying completely. On the edge of the horizon, where the sun showed its last tip of warmth, big flushes of red and orange slowly shifted to purple. Further on those colors faded into the black that showed the first star. It annoyed me that I didn’t see the soup coming. The hand of the waiter poisoning the painted sky with a white glove made me snap out of the vision I was experiencing.

“He, dreamy boy.” I heard a light voice from the other side of the table, every word singing its own sweet melody. I felt a light shock go through my body, looking quickly from left to right. Her eyes watched mine. I felt the blood run through my head. I did not know how many times she had called me.

The smell of the soup—mustard, bacon—was very rich. It tickled parts of my nose so that I tasted the vinegar on my tongue. I looked at the soup. The creamy yellow texture was excellent, the bread warm, giving a moist scent that mixed with the soup.

“Bon appetit,” I heard from across the table.

I gave her a smile, tried to look at her but failed. Her eyes were not to be caught—a blue that was only to be seen in the middle of rainbows. There was no name for it. If I glanced into them, I would be lost. More than I already was.

I tried to think of something to say, something simple, like “Where do you come from?” We had talked online for long, long evenings. I had probably asked her everything already twice at minimum, but right now I had absolutely no idea what her name was.

So I nodded. “Enjoy.”

I saw she was looking at me, her head tilted a bit, lips a bit pinched. I saw then that her soup was already halfway empty.

“Are you okay?” Her voice was still dancing. In my head, I added a beat and a melody to put under the words. She was dancing on a stage, a screaming audience in front of her, throwing her moon-touched hair all around, making it swing with the music.

I put down my spoon and looked her straight in the eyes. She looked alarmed—eyes big, one hand going up.

“I should say something, shouldn’t I?” I tried to think of something else, but this was all that came out.

She froze in time for a second. Maybe two. Her eyes had a twinkle. They were uneven—so much you could see it immediately. A ring in her left eyebrow was probably there to break exactly that. Her nose was a bit crooked, probably weighed down by all the rings and other metal. Black lipstick covered her mouth, with her pale complexion it was almost a contrast. A beauty that could obliterate the sunset in a wink.

She had told me once she thought herself a monster, a hideous creature from the deep. She was my Nessie—as in, if I blinked or closed my eyes, I might never find her again.

“It would be better, yes.” She smiled without showing teeth. I knew why—I did the same. “Although I do not mind the silence, you know.” She winked at me, or at least I thought it was a wink. “But at least now I know you’re still alive.”

She looked at my soup as she finished the last spoon of hers. “Enjoying it?” she asked.

I looked at my completely full bowl of soup. “I think I forgot to eat.”

I quickly started on the now lukewarm soup. Within a minute, I finished the bowl. We were back alone without food—still no idea what I should say.

***

A moment later she was sitting next to me. We watched the sky. She pointed at every star and told me the name. I was pretty sure she was lying.

“Really? The star above Little Friar is called Wiggly Nose?” I looked at her again.

She feigned an insulted look by making a long face. “You don’t believe me?” she laughed.

“Of course I believe you. Do you know why it is called Wiggly Nose?”

“Ohw, pray do tell.”

“It is on the head of the Little Friar, where his nose once was.” I nodded at her with my most sincere face. “But it wiggled off.”

She laughed. I upped it a notch.

“It is because when they started naming it, all the stars were closer together.”

“Wait, really?” A frown appeared on her forehead, making her pierced eyebrow wrinkle.

“You’re gullible. Should I worry?”

“You lie like a professional. Should I worry?” We laughed again.

She rocked with laughter on the stupid joke of Wiggly Nose. Her moon-touched hair danced again. I soaked it in as a memory.

She stopped as our dinner arrived and sat back in her seat across from me. “You took the best seat,” she said, sticking her tongue out.

“I’m willing to share.” I winked at her.

***

In front of me was a big plate of—I couldn’t remember what I had ordered—as I had done it in sheer panic. She looked at it.

“Weren’t you a vegetarian?”

“The bacon in the soup wasn’t enough of a tell?” I looked at my plate. Meat, for sure. No idea what it was. I looked at her, my eyes pinched to slits. “So, I can’t remember what I ordered. I’m a bit allergic to fish.”

She chewed slower, then collapsed into laughter. “Russian roulette with food.” She winked at me—this time I was sure. “I like it.”

I gave her a sheepish laugh and took a bite, still not sure what it was. “Well, at least nothing fishy.”

She shook her head. “I thought you were some genius chemist.”

I nodded. “Yes. One with a terrible memory.” Then I leaned into her. “I am really dangerous in the lab.”

She laughed again, shaking her head.

“Were you that nervous?” she said, chewing on her—I guessed—some kind of fish. The smell of it already making me nauseous. “More than I was?”

I nodded heavily. “You have no idea.” Another bite. “I was dangerously close to passing out.”

“I noticed that,” she smiled. “I kept on blabbing about things.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t listen.” I laughed. For the first time, I laughed and my teeth were showing. Quickly, I put my hand in front of it.

She leaned over, very close. I smelled her perfume, her shampoo—everything. It was overwhelming. Once more, panic took over as I did not know what to do. I closed my eyes.

I felt a warm sensation pressed on my lips. As I opened my eyes—two blue eyes, blue as could only be seen in the middle of a rainbow. Big eyes, closing again. I closed mine again.

Then it hit me.

She was eating fish.

I felt the vomit coming up immediately.

***

I stared at my feet coming out of the bathroom of the restaurant, not even trying to look up at all the people who saw me fleeing into the toilet. My cheeks were wet; I couldn’t care less. I didn’t want to look at the empty chair. In my mind, my next actions were clear: immediately to the checkout register, pay, and never ever return here. The best plan ever.

Still, I sat down on the chair—the one with the prettiest of views. Now just a black sky. Wiggly Nose was looking down on me, probably laughing. The plate with her fish was still there. As was my plate of unidentified meat, cold now.

I took a sip of my drink, then a long swig, getting the last taste out. I saw the waiter in the corner of my eye. I raised my hand to ask for the bill.

Something grabbed my hand.

I was so shocked I dropped my glass and slipped from my chair onto the ground.

“Boy,” she said, her voice sounding as sweet as candy. “You suck at first dates.”

I looked at her, felt myself crumbling as I almost broke down.

“We’re back at saying nothing?” she teased.

I exhaled. Still no words. I imagined a sheepish look of surprise slowly creeping in my face, mixed with existential terror.

“Shall we do an extra dessert?”

I nodded again, not daring to blink, thinking this was all a fish-induced hallucination. She sat down next to me, coming close again. I felt myself turning green.

“Fine.” She smiled, her teeth uncovered.

“Before the night is over, we are going to kiss.” She locked eyes with me sternly. I could not do anything.

She took the dessert menu and put on her reading glasses.

I looked up. Next to Wiggly Nose, I saw Winking Eye.