Balloon Boy

This is the stuff life is made of.

Hello, Heartache.

Jasper set his phone down and crossed the living room to a large picture window. The maple trees in the yard were at their autumnal peak, vibrant reds, oranges and golds. The rich green carpet of the Engstrom’s well-tended lawn completed the picture-perfect exterior of the day.

Jasper’s mind was elsewhere. He was grappling with how to best manage the call he’d just received from his daughter.

“Jasper? Who were you talking to?”

Cindy Engstrom entered the living room, wiping her hands with a dishtowel.

“Connie.” Jasper turned and faced his wife. “She said she’s dropping off the kids.”

Cindy looked at her watch.

“Now?”

“I think so.”

“Well, that’s fine, I suppose, but this is really last minute."

“She says she’s leaving Tom.”

Cindy moved to the couch and sat.

“I was afraid of this.”

“You knew about it?”

“Nothing definite. I knew there was trouble. Or, rather, I sensed it. You know how Connie can be.”

“Did she say anything to you?”

“Nothing specific. I just know our daughter. I thought I could read certain signs, but getting that girl to express her feelings is like pulling teeth.”

“Oh, I remember. I wasn’t around for her teenage years as much as you but I still have the acid reflux to show for it.

And, as I recall, you were lucky, at least she’d talk to you. She avoided me like the plague.”

“Just how was I lucky? I wasn’t equipped to deal with a teenage girl who couldn’t or wouldn’t express what she was going through. All hints and mass confusion, that’s what I remember. I’d wind up taking her to the bowling alley and let her take it out on the pins.”

“What’d she say just now?”

“Dad, I don’t want to burden you and mom but would it be all right if I drop the boys off with you in a little while? I can’t say for how long but I’m leaving Tom and I want to spare them from what’s about to happen.”

“Spare them how?”

They were both quiet, feeling the weight of what was to come.

“Well,” Cindy stood. “I’ll get the boys’ room ready.”

Jasper retrieved his phone. “I’ll make a quick run to the market and pick up a few things for the boys.”

“Yes, please. I'll start preparing for anything."

“Agreed. Anything else you need?”

“That’s a loaded question. Please hurry!”

Jasper grinned and was out the door.

Goodbye, Love.

Driving alone in the car, Jasper chose to listen to his own thoughts instead of the radio. He and Cindy hadn’t voiced the real root of Connie’s struggles. There was no point. They’d picked at that wound long enough and both had learned how to ride whatever wave Connie was on, or at least survive it.

All Jasper had to do was conjure his son’s name, Jonah, and he knew immediately to pull the car over and park. He reached into the glove compartment for the spare napkins kept there, blinking furiously to keep his tears from spilling until he could get to them. He first tried composing himself but ultimately he surrendered. His shoulders heaving, sobs let loose, he covered his face and wept.

Jonah and Connie were twins. Cindy and Jasper had been down a long, difficult road trying to start a family, so when the doctor told them there were two heartbeats present in Cindy’s ultrasound, they couldn’t have been more thrilled. They were blessed with an instant family. Connie and Jonah were inseparable, beautiful kids. They enjoyed all their milestones together, Jonah following Connie’s lead. Jonah was born eleven minutes after his sister and Connie never let him forget.

When Jonah was nine, he played Little League baseball. Jasper had signed up to be one of the team’s coaches. During one of their games, Jonah successfully slid into third to steal a base but quickly discovered he was unable to stand. He had broken his ankle. It was during his treatment that the doctors found that cancer had made Jonah’s bones brittle and his blood deteriorate. Leukemia became an unwanted member of the family. It left and took Jonah four years later.

Would he ever produce enough tears to run out of them, once and for all? Ah, well, Jasper thought when he was able to think, he’s worth it. Her blew his nose, took two long, deep breaths, told Jonah he loved him, and got back on the road.

Hello, Joy.

By the time Jasper returned with a kid-friendly bag of groceries, the boys were there and there was no sign of Connie.

“Grandpa! Grandpa!”

Jasper put the bag down and knelt just in time to fill his arms with two squirming boys.

“Hey, guys! I’m so glad you two are here!”

Connor was seven, Ethan was five and they had more energy than a bushel of puppies. They began jabbering, eyes wide as saucers, words blending into a barrage of excited snippets. Jasper tried to keep up, giving them his full attention.

“Mom said . . .”

“. . . stay with you!”

“Like a sleep-over!”

“. . . to the park?”

“Can we go . . .”

“Will you and Grandma . . .”

“When can . . .”

Jasper laughed and tried to settle them down.

“Guys! Guys! One at a time! Wait a minute, what is that I smell? Could that be . . . chocolate?”

The boys looked at each other, burst into giggles and pointed to the kitchen, yelling in unison. “It was grandma!”

“Did somebody call me?”

Cindy, all wide-eyed innocence, poked her head into the room.

“Oh, good. Are those the groceries? Let’s get them in the kitchen. Who wants to help me with dinner?”

“Me! Me! I do!”

Little hands shot up and the boys disappeared behind their Gran into the kitchen. It was then that Jasper found chocolate smudges where the boys had hugged him. He inhaled a sleeve and took in that sweet richness.

“Do not miss this moment,” he thought to himself. ”This is the good stuff.”

Goodbye, Innocence.

At the dinner table, Connor and Ethan swung little legs under the table as they gnawed their corn smeared with salty-sweet butter, managing to get as much on their faces as they did into their mouths. Cindy offered to cut the corn off the cobs to make it easier, but the boys insisted, no, mom would never allow this much fun, a/k/a mess, at home. Macaroni and cheese should have been easier but they still managed to wear as much as they ingested.

It was at this stage of the meal, as both boys were wielding their carrot sticks like swords, that little Ethan announced, “Mommy’s going away and daddy’s not coming.” The fact that he’d put it so plainly paralyzed Jasper and Cindy.

Connor poked a carrot at Ethan. “You don’t know that. You don’t know what you’re talking about, Ethan!”

“Oh, yes, I do!”

Ethan used his carrots to demonstrate. He changed the pitch of his voice for the two sticks.

Lady voice: “I just can’t do this anymore!”

Man voice: “What you talkin’ about?”

Lady voice: “I’m leaving, that’s what!”

Man voice: “No, you’re not!”

Lady voice: “You can’t stop me!”

Man voice: “But I don’t unnertan!”

Lady voice: “No, you don’t! Goodbye!”

Ethan laid the carrots on his plate.

“That’s what happened.”

Jasper and Cindy exchanged looks, then turned their attention to Connor. He was staring down at his plate, expressionless.

“May I be excused?”

Cindy was about to mention dessert but Jasper spoke first.

“Of course you can, Con. Maybe wash dinner off your face.”

Cindy followed up with, “I’ll help you.”

Connor’s chair screeched as he slid it back.

“I don’t need any help.”

He was at the stairs when Ethan yelled, “Then I’ll come with you.” This was met with an even louder, “NO!”

Ethan looked at Jasper and Cindy with alarm.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Hello, Restless Nights.

As the rest of the evening unfolded, the tension accompanied each of them as they carried on with their routines. Cleanup was drawn out so the adults could consider how to deal with this turn of events. Dessert was allowed in front of the television, with bath time and teeth-cleaning immediately to follow. Story time was offered but Cindy caught Connor’s stern expression aimed towards Ethan and the polite, stoic “No, thank you” that followed. She overheard little muffled voices exchanged between the two after lights out. It all just made her sad.

Later, in bed, Jasper kissed Cindy good night and whispered, “Sleep tight, darlin’. I have an idea that might help the boys. In the morning I’ll give it a try. Nothing to lose here, that’s what I’m thinking.”

Sleep didn’t come easily for either of them, but they’d learned the hard way how to tuck unfinished business away and save what energy they had until they knew what to do with it.

Goodbye, Yesterday. Hello, New Day.

Cindy had coffee brewing and rolls baking well before the boys would be up. Jasper was already up and out, as he had said, wanting to set his idea into motion. Cindy asked no questions but raised a hand with fingers crossed right before blowing Jasper a kiss. He grinned and was out the door.

Later, when Connor and Ethan entered the kitchen still in their pajamas, Connor plopped himself in a chair while Ethan ran to Cindy.

“Is that cinnamon?”

“You have a good nose, Ethan. That’s breakfast. How did you two sleep?”

Ethan shrugged and joined Connor at the table.The silence that followed was answer enough.

Cindy removed the pan of rolls from the oven and set it on a rack to cool. She turned off the oven and removed her oven mitt.

Ethan glanced around. “Where’s grandpa?”

“He’s on a secret mission. Let’s hope he gets back before the cinnamons rolls are gone.”

Connor sat hunched over the table, chin on his arms.

“He can have mine. I’m not hungry.”

Ethan, dumbfounded, stared at his brother.

Cindy crossed the kitchen to the table and placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder.

“I have an idea. Why don’t you two get dressed for the day and then come on back down. Your grandpa should be back by then and maybe then you’ll be ready for some breakfast.”

“But I’m ready now,” Ethan whined.

“Sweetheart, if you tried eating one of those rolls just out of the oven, you’d burn your taste buds and then you wouldn’t be able to taste all that gooey cinnamony goodness, not to mention I haven’t yet drowned them in my homemade icing.”

“Oh, all right.”

“Go on now. Come back down after you’re all spic and span.”

As she heard their small feet scamper up the stairs, Connor lagging well behind his hungry younger brother, the kitchen door opened and Jasper appeared. He carried a book in his hand.

“You’re back! What have you got there?”

“Just what I was looking for, I hope. Where are the kids?”

“I sent them to get dressed while breakfast cools.”

“So I can smell. Good. Let me get some coffee and wake up a bit more. Think you can wait and find out with the boys what I have in mind here?”

“Sure.”

“I really don’t know if I’m doing more harm than good.I tried to come up with something age appropriate, whatever that is, but I found something with the help of the librarian.”

“Sit. I’ll get you some coffee. All fingers remain crossed.”

Goodbye, Sorrow.

By the time Connor and Ethan returned, the table was set with flowers, fruit, juice and rolls. Cindy made some necessary adjustments to the boys’ attire, smoothed a cowlick or two, then released them to join Jasper.

“I have something I’d like to show you boys.”

“What is it?” Ethan was busy picking out grapes from the fruit bowl Cindy held for him.Fruit first, he knew, and then the buns could be fair game.

“Today, I thought we might stray a little from tradition and, instead of waiting until bedtime to read you a story, we’d begin the day with one.”

“Okay, Gran’pa,” Ethan managed around a mouthful of grapes.

Connor wished the floor had a trapdoor he could fall through.

“Really? We’re not babies.”

Jasper smiled patiently at his grandson.

“Can you humor your old, decrepit, practically senile grandpa while he still has his faculties – well, some of them anyway -- not to mention, his teeth?”

Ethan thought this was hilarious. He covered his mouth to keep the fruit from escaping.Cindy inched closer to be sure he didn’t choke, then she laughed too.

Connor shrugged, ducking his head so his grin wouldn’t be obvious.

“All right then. Plates full? Let’s begin.”

Jasper collected the library book he’d check out that morning, located his reading glasses in his breast pocket and began to read, displaying illustrations as he went. The book was entitled, “Balloon Boy.”

“Our story takes place in the imaginary world of Never Haven, which is situated near the Coast of Silly and squats upon the borderline of the Inn of Sanity. You’ll find a map with directions to the quiet little town at the Nonexistent Bakery where they make no-dough do-knots with rarified batter and dairy dream crème.

The townspeople loved living in their magnificent made-up world, where cosmetics were perfunctory and honest living reigned supreme. It was a place where words were delivered with nary-a-care and everyone knew what everything meant, whether they knew it or not. Lines were meant to be drawn clearly and read between and everyone knew how to get there from here. Life was bliss, as we know it, if not utterly unreal.

There was one exception to the town’s rule as a model state and he was known as the Balloon Boy, to those who thought of it. His nickname was Loony to those who knew him best, which would be not at all if you gave it any thought. That’s what happens when you don’t speak the language. He was the only spectacle in town with such serious affliction that one day he would become legendary of the most malingering kind.

His true gift, not that any self-respecting department store or pawn shop would accept a return without a raincheck, was swallowing his feelings whole. He had an unwavering appetite for the strongest of emotions which he insisted on nipping in the bud, apparently the most easily digestible of all the ages of discontent.

And let us not forget, as the wheels on the bus went round and round, the more he took hostage and held inside, every take-a-giant-leap day and without failure to appear, the less space he allotted for dessert, which might consist of guilt ganache and/or sugarcane-topped shame. Yet, he always packed on the prickly pride and invited illusory ills. After all, he lived in a glass house of cards that would eventually shatter and fold like a cheap suitcase.

And so, here’s how the sonic goes:

He chewed on anger, he slurped up fear,

He’d never sob for all to hear.

He felt these things but held them tight.

He swallowed all in one big bite.

Balloon Boy was the name they gave,

And here’s the reason why.

Whenever he felt something true,

He thought he’d rather die

Than show the world just who he was

They didn’t need to see

A work in progress, I’m not done

Why not just let me be?

He bit his tongue,

Then swallowed whole

Before it could break free

Anything uncomfortable

Just leave it all in me.

So, this is something good to know,

Don’t keep too much inside

There’s only so much room to grow

When stuffed with stubborn pride.

Issues are like tissues,

You wouldn’t want to store

Something used to wipe a mess

When odds are there'll be more.

So give yourself some air to breathe

And let in those that care,

People can be wonderful

And treat your feelings fair.

Don’t end up like Balloon Boy

and the day he can’t be found.

What happened? He ran out of room!

He exploded all through town!

PS. It was a good thing the townspeople had plenty of tissues, because that was the messy end to Balloon Boy.

The End”

Hello, Hope.

Jasper closed the book and removed his glasses.

“It does not say that!” Connor laughed.

Jasper showed him the book. “You think I could make that up?”

Cindy leaned over to look. “No pictures for the ending? What a disappointment.”

Ethan was beside himself with sugar-powered glee. He pushed out his tummy.

“Look out! I’m going to blow up!”

Jasper answered. “Quick! Let out a feeling!”

“I feel . . . happy you’re my grandpa, grandpa!”

Cindy watched Connor watching.

“All right. You boys get cleaned up, again. You’ll attract every bee in the county with those faces.”

The boys scattered. Connor poked his brother on the way up the stairs.

“Well?”

Cindy ran water into the sink.

“What I really hope is that you have some activities in mind to burn off that energy. Looks like Connor’s on the road back to rowdy.”

“Hon, I mean the book. What did you . . .”

Just then Connor entered the kitchen, shadowed by Ethan.

“Grandpa, we were thinking, could we get Mom “The Balloon Boy”? We’d like to hear it again. We think she’d like it, too.”

“It’s so silly,” squealed Ethan, rolling his eyes.

“Tell you what,” Jasper knelt close enough to the boys to feel enveloped by sweetness. “Get cleaned up and we’ll take a ride to the book store and buy you a copy. How’s that for a good deal?”

“Great!” Ethan bounced away and ran up the stairs.

Connor lingered for just a moment. “Grandpa, later would you read it again, just you and me?"

“Don’t miss this moment.”

Goodbye for now.

This is the stuff life is made of.