Seraphas

--SERAPHAS—

I never told Mamma or Daddy what I done. In fact, I never told no one. That’s why when I met Seraphas I got so scared. It had been thirty years since the day I shot and killed old man Conners. And for all sakes and purposes no one had ever considered an eleven-year-old kid might have pulled the trigger. But I done it and somehow Seraphas knew everything. But let me tell you about Seraphas. You see he was straight forward an angel. He told me so himself, even said God had given him his name. Truth was, he’d been around pretty much since the very beginning. You know like the Bible’s ‘In the beginning’. But all things considered, he looked pretty ordinary to me, dressed in his gray slacks and white shirt with suspenders. So when he kindly asked to join me in the diner, I didn’t think one bit of it. Until that is, he sat down and started up telling me everything about my secret. And I do mean everything. He even told me the baby’s name Daddy and Mamma had delivered that morning, all the way over on the Jefferson farm. “Gracie Mae Jefferson”, he said, and of course that was a million times correct. That’s when I understood he wasn’t a regular person. But I’m here to tell you that’s just the beginning.

Of course, I was never much one to believe in sorcerer’s and mediums as such. But this was different, so when Seraphas proposed a meeting with old man Conners, I felt it might be my only chance for confessing and asking once and for all for forgiveness. So in a roadside motel room barely out of town I showed up and waited for some magic. There right inside the room was Seraphas, a folding table and two chairs, each set across from the other. As I sat down, he asked me was I ready and I said yes. But I’ll tell you… I wasn’t nowhere ready to see the dead made back to the living again. But Seraphas, he was calm like a surgeon. I remember it all, like it was yesterday, him standing up straight, arms lifted up high towards the heavens. Then Seraphas spoke out loud and clear, “Robert Amos Conners…I beseech thee, come forth this moment from the dead!” You better believe that’s when it all got crazy, and instantly, right there across from me appeared old man Connors. His arms were folded, and with a wretched scowl on his face, he stared right through me and I didn’t have a second to think.

“Who are you,” the old man growled.

“I’m James Winston. My Daddy was Dr. Gilbert Winston. We lived right next to your farm in Coopersville.

“So what, I never seen you and your father was a scoundrel, tried to cheat me on my property lines.”

“I’m pretty sure Daddy didn’t cheat no one Mr. Conners and besides I didn’t come here to discuss some property lines. I came here to tell you I was sorry.”

“Sorry for what, I’ve never laid eyes on you!”

“I’m sorry for killing you with my grandpa’s buffalo rifle. I shot you dead Mr. Conners, but it was all the way, one hundred percent an accident. Cause that very day, up in our hayloft, well that was the first time I ever held a gun in my hands… much less took any kind of aim to kill someone. But sure as the world I pointed it towards you, the gun fired and five hundred yards away, you dropped right down dead on your own piece of land. You see Mr. Conners I’m ashamed for what I done and especially ashamed for never telling no one. I hope you can forgive me.” Right then Robert Amos Conners stood up and clenched his fist. With every word he spoke, his fat jowls began to quiver.

“Well that’s impossible boy, no one as worthless and weak as you could have ever taken my life. I died on my own natural accord, my heart was nearly give out, and I wasn’t fit for living. Just try telling someone you killed Robert Amos Conners, and you’ll be the laughing-stock of Coopersville.”

At that very moment Seraphas asked the old man to feel the hole in his forehead. Immediately the room became silent, and blood began to pour from the old man’s wound. Within seconds he was covered in blood. It was for me a ghastly sight and I was mortified. And the old man, well he began to scream now at the top of his voice, his entire body shaking.

“To hell with you. You’re just the son of a liar!” Then, in that very moment, Robert Amos Conners disappeared.

For what seemed a lifetime the world to me was silent. I looked across the room and Seraphas no longer had the appearance of any normal person but was now clothed in a long flowing garment that somehow seemed to sparkle. He was unspeakably pure and handsome but also terrifying, and I couldn’t bear to face him.” Right then he touched my shoulder softly.

“Don’t be afraid James Winston, you have done well with your opportunity. No one in this room is here to judge you. Go in peace with God and live your life. And then in one solitary second, Seraphas vanished.

Immediately a peace poured over my being, and I felt lifted up. Lifted above the room, above the town, above all of the world and its constant sorrows. Once again I felt the innocence that I had long forgotten. The innocence of an eleven-year-old boy playing childlike in a hayloft. And I waited for it all to come crashing down upon me…the truth, the guilt, the sadness of doing wrong. And I waited. But in that very moment I could no longer remember one second of any hour of that dreadful day. And just like that, a solitary thought began to race through my heart and mind. In some wondrously bright and miraculous way I instantly knew… I had been forgiven. The guilt I had carried for a lifetime no longer haunted me and I wept. But my tears were tears of goodness. They were tears of freedom. Freedom from regret. Freedom from hiding the terrible deception that had poisoned my joy of living. And at once I remembered what Seraphas had told me. He had not been sent in judgement but rather implored me to go and live my life in peace. Peace so precious that I felt at once like breathing in, if it was possible, all the beauty of life. And with one giant breath, I began to live again.