Grace and Mercy

Grace and Mercy

 Leaving, basket of goods in hand, Mary said goodbye to her longtime friend and shopkeeper. Humming to herself, she wandered towards home caught up in her own thoughts. The absolute stillness and quietness of the night drew her out of her imaginings. No crickets singing, no owls hooting. Where a moment before there had been the usual nighttime medley of the country critters. A sense of unease crept up her spine. She got the feeling someone was watching her. Glancing over her shoulder she continued down the lane, picking up her pace. A shadow darted from one tree to another just outside her line of sight. A twig snapped and Mary squealed breaking out in a full-blown sprint all the way to her house, slamming open the door and locking it quickly behind her. Heart racing, gasping for breath, she tried to wrap her mind about what she had just experienced. Chalking it up to an overactive imagination and some sort of animal, she laughed it off, she did live in the country after all. Grabbing a cup of hot tea, she sat down to do her evening devotionals and Bible study. The red beady eyes peering in from the tree outside her window went unnoticed.

   As the creature descended the tree, shadows parted and he crossed the threshold into the underworld, descending deeper until the very air itself reeked of brimstone and damnation.  He headed towards the throne room where roars of raucous laughter, sinister snarling and vicious growls emanated. As he entered, he saw his master seated high on a throne made from the skulls and bones of the defeated ones. The chamber was filled with all types and sizes of demons. There in the front stood three colossal Demons, defined muscles pulsed and throbbed on their arms and legs. “I think it will be me” The blue one bragged, “I did get that seminary student to cheat on his exam.” “No! He will choose me; I got that accountant to dip his hand into the church funds. Heck he just got fired today and will be arrested by evening.” The Red demon snorted. A green demon pushed through, “That’s nothing!!! I finally got that pastor addicted to porn and his wife walked in on him!!” They all broke out in fits of laughter.

    The creature made his way to the front and flew up to his master’s ear whispering into it. With a mighty blow he sent the creature sailing through the air. “SILENCE!!!” He boomed. “Pride, Greed and Lust shut up!!! I’m not picking any of you.” Astonished rumbling broke out among the hordes; those were the top hitters. “Do you know what the target is doing at this moment?” His voice bellowed and the very ground shook with each syllable. A low murmur rose from the collective. “She is reading that blasphemous bible of hers!” Panicked shouts arose “She must be stopped.” One chattered. “Kill her!!” Another shrieked. “ENOUGH!!” Satan growled.  “Fear and Doubt get up here NOW!!!”  The words echoed through the chamber.

   Two small forms wormed their way through the crowd slinking up to the front, bowing low they stuttered, “Ye…Yes Master?”

“You know what to do!!! Work on her and get her to give up!! We must get this one, she has not fully believed yet. We are running out of time. Now GO!!!” he ruthlessly kicked the creatures from his pedestal. They flew through the veils and catapulted right into Mary’s closet.

      A loud crash startled Mary out of her slumber. The closet door banged open, clothing and shoes tumbled out. She grabbed a book from her table, raising it over her head and cautiously approached the open door. She swore she heard a shriek and felt a draft of air blow past her, but nothing was there.  Confused and anxious she slowly sat on her bed cradling the bible she held in her hand. Unwanted thoughts flooded her mind. You are unlovable, you are tainted, you have no hope of being more. Just give up.

    Trying to dislodge the thoughts she shook her head intensely, wondering where they came from. Instead of giving into depressive thinking, she decided to open her bible, flipping to a comforting verse. “For God so loved Mary that he gave his one and only son, so that who ever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” Her bible study told her to place her name in these scriptures to make them more personal. There was so much she still didn’t understand about it all. Suddenly, she smelled smoke.

    “Did you see her wielding that bible. Its as if she knew it really was a weapon, Glad we got out of there fast.” Doubt stammered.

    “That was a little too close. I cannot believe she read THAT verse. Someone must be helping her.” Fear growled angrily.

   “Helping her?”

     “I am sure one of those meddlesome Christians are interfering with their prayers. Isn’t it bad enough they gave her that bible and study material?” Fear pulled an ember from his nose. “It’s time to turn up the heat.” He tossed it into the trash can laughing.

     Mary raced into the kitchen, following her nose. Smoke was rising from the trash can. Grabbing the tea kettle, she poured water into the can smothering the glowing embers. Curious as to what had just happened but too exhausted and confused to put much energy into it, she decided to just go to bed.

    Throwing a night gown on she faceplanted into bed, too overwhelmed to even brush her teeth or wash her face. She tried to squeeze out a prayer when an unwanted movie of memories played through her mind. Your own mother did not want you, she abandoned you. Why do you think God would want you? Your EX did not love you; heck he shacked up with someone else before the divorce was even finalized. How could you think God would love you. You are unlovable. He can see everything you have done, those dark secrets you hide, he knows. How could you ever be forgiven? Pathetic!!!

 Burrowing down under her pillow Mary screamed. “Shut up Shut up SHUT UP!!” She sobbed, deep heart aching sobs. Feeling alone, unwanted, and unloved, she sunk deep into the mire of depression and cried herself to sleep.

  Fear and doubt high fived each other. “That’s the way to do it!!!” they said in unison. Let’s go tell boss!!! They quickly crossed over the threshold and made their way back down into the inner sanctum.

    They strutted past all the other demons and creatures head held high, shoulders back. They screeched to a stop when Satan’s voice filled the room, the disgust so palatable you could taste it. “Why are you back?? That bothersome woman has not joined me yet, your job isn’t finished!!! Now get out of here before I send you to the depths of despair and eternal damnation! You can take her place!!! Take Sui with you!!!”

They grabbed Sui and scurried out as quickly as they could before he had a chance to violently launch them back himself. Once they made it back inside, they searched the house for Mary.  Her cell phone sat on the table ringing, unanswered. They looked in the kitchen and the bathroom; they even scanned the yard. Finally, they found her exactly where they left her, lying in bed, curled up, with the curtains closed tight.

“See Boss has nothing to worry about. She is exactly where we want her. Wonder what has got his panties in a wad?” Doubt stated. Sui joined them as they breathed once again into her ears.

Mary roused and rolled over. Pulling the covers tight around her. She did not want to get up or do anything. An endless loop of gloomy thoughts played inside her mind. She was a fool to think God could really forgive and love her. It had been an exceptionally long time since she had last attempted to take her own life, absentmindedly rubbing the scar on her wrist, she thought that had been conquered, but dying somehow seemed easier than living. This time she would do it right, all she needed was to get the prescription bottle from the bathroom.

    Loud banging interrupted her thoughts. “Mary?” someone hollered. Reluctantly getting up Mary shuffled to the door. Opening it revealed her friend and shopkeeper, Betty. “Ive been so worried about you. You did not stop by the store, did not answer your phone, and then Debbie said you did not show up for work!! That is not like you, I knew something was wrong. What happened?”

Lethargically Mary beckoned her to come in. As if on auto pilot she drifted to the stove, filled the tea kettle, and put it on the burner. Betty just watched her as she mechanically pulled out teacups, sugar and even some cookies. Only once the cups were filled did she sit down, releasing a bone-weary sigh. Before she could open her mouth, her eyes filled with tears and slid down her cheeks. Tears turned into sobs mixed with little gulps for air.

Betty raced over and wrapped her arms around her saying, “It is all right honey, let it out. I am here for you.”  That only made her cry harder. Suddenly she burst out “I was a prostitute!!!!! God could never love me, or forgive me, or want me. I am hopeless and stupid, and I just want to die!!!!”

Rocking her gently and rubbing her back Betty simply said. “That is just not true. Did you know Rahab from the bible was a prostitute? She helped the Israelites and believed in God. He saved her from death and destruction, and she is even in the lineage of Jesus Christ.” Opening the bible to Matthew she pointed to Rahab’s name. And Mary Magdalene had seven demons cast out of her. David was a murderer and an adulteress, yet God called him a man after his own heart. I know you are just learning the bible, but I promise you we are all sinners in need of a savior. Gods whole plan from the garden of Eden when Adam and Eve first brought sin into the world, was to bring us back into right standing with him so that we may be forgiven and have our eternal home in heaven. We do not deserve it and we cannot earn it. That is why he gives us grace and mercy. Grace is Gods unmerited favor, love and power given freely to humanity despite human sin and failure. Mercy is the compassionate act of God withholding the punishment, wrath, or judgement that humanity justly deserves for our sin. Jesus died in our place. He paid the price for our sins. That is why the bible says that ALL who call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. You are included in that All Mary. God does not expect you to be perfect, he just wants your heart.”

The demons screamed and slithered in agony as the scripture was read aloud. Panicked they ran from the house.

Out of the silence Mary’s soft voice could barely be heard as she muttered. “Do you really think he could forgive someone like me?”

“Do you believe that Jesus died on the cross? That he was dead and buried and rose on the third day?”

“Yes, yes I do.” Mary said a little louder.

“Then all you must do now is confess it with your mouth. Do you want to pray together with me? I can help you with what to say.”

“Yes please.”

And with that the two friends prayed together, the heavy weight lifted from Mary’s chest, her thoughts cleared and for the first time she felt hope, love, and acceptance.

Deep in the abyss Satan roared in defeat as one more precious soul slipped from his grasp.