Rags to Riches

Fantasy

Written in response to: "Start your story with the line, β€œBy the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire.” (Whether this is a literal fire is up to you.)" as part of Autumnal.

By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire. I heard screams, but the echo was swallowed by the crackling of fire and screams. Horrified screams, but the source was unknown. 

Fire was pouring out of me, immersing my entire body in flames. It quickly seared my thin clothing, burning the fabric with ease. 

But it didn’t burn me. I didn’t even feel the warmth of the flames whose mission was to devour everything in sight. 

The bright death-sentence transferred to the walls of the castle, eating them away, scorching them until fire and smoke was the only thing to see. 

All I could do was watch in traumatism as the uncontrollable flame roared into a bonfire. 

Every breath had me inhaling immense amounts of smoke, and my fuzzy surroundings blurred intensely. Everything was muddled, but my adrenaline made everything seem slightly sharper than I would think. 

β€œI can’t stop it!” I shouted to the tortured soul who was likely doused in fire, my voice hoarse from terror and the ever-so-threatening smoke. The emotion seemed to feed the fire.

I tried running away, pivoting on my foot as I sprinted through the courtyard. I was trying to tame the flames, but the beast had a mind of its own. Parts of the raging blaze trailed with me, coating my body in a suit-like form, leaving a trail of smoke in my wake. 

But the rest was unforgiving. An explosion from behind caught me off guard, sent me back at least a hundred feet. I landed on my back, pain shooting through it, worsening my dilemma. The anonymous screeching continued as I searched for the source. 

Although my condition did all it could to keep me from interpreting my surroundings, I could still catch a glimpse of the victim. 

It was a young girl, drowned in a blanket of fire, shouting for help as the flames licked her gorgeous dress, her terrified eyes a beautiful purple - the sign of a high social status. She was a Royal.

I tried to rescue her, but smoke erupted from the ground, stronger than ever. 

I crashed into the metal gates, the force knocking the wind out of me. Black started spotting my vision as I slumped onto the searing hot floor. And as the darkness swallowed me, I experienced a peaceful silence, but it also meant something greater.

The screaming had ceased. 

********************************************************************************

My vision was blurred as I awoke to a dimly lit stone room. There were candles dotted on the wall, wax dripping from their crowns. I was in a metal bed, with a fluffy blue blanket draped over me - one that I could never afford. 

I heard footsteps clicking against the brick floor and I squeezed my eyes tight instinctively. I perceived a woman’s cold voice echo off of the walls, as muffled as it was, I was able to make out a few sentences. β€œShe can’t be a Rare, she’s a Rag!” and β€œI refuse to believe it!” I winced. Was she talking about me? I didn’t do anything, that fire was just a dream! Right? It would explain why I couldn’t feel anything. Yes, of course, it was a dream. I opened my eyes to witness the door creaking open.

 Two women walked in, and the first was easily the most beautiful person I had seen. The woman had almond skin without a freckle in sight and toffee colored hair swirling into a slick bun resting on her head. Her kohl rimmed blue eyes - the sign of a Rich - were narrowed and looked frustrated. Her red lips were twisted into an exaggerated frown. She had brown eyebrows raised as if inspecting me like I was a piece of sculpture. As for her outfit, I could tell that she was a Rich even without peering into her eyes. Her fuschia dress was dripping with golden adornments. Her fingers and neck were coated in expensive jewels, and perched on her head was a golden barrette. She might have been stunning, but she also looked - cruel

The second woman was in all white. Her eyes were brown - she was a Rag, and she appeared to be a healer.

β€œWho are you?” The first woman asked coldly. 

β€œI’d like to ask you the same thing.” I retorted, but my hoarse voice did nothing to help my comeback.

She huffed, then replied haughtily, β€œI am Laiba, and talk to me like that again and you’ll regret it. Now please be so kind to inform me who you are.”

I wasn’t intimidated by her remarks. I rolled my eyes, and took a deep breath before saying, β€œI’m Avani.” 

The second woman coughed, and whispered something into Laiba’s ear while staring at me. 

Laiba nodded, and then proceeded to pull my soft covers back, revealing my now cold torso and legs, framed in a white nightdress. 

β€œCome with me, Avani.” She commanded. I reluctantly obeyed, placing my feet on the frigid stone flooring. She opened the creaking door, revealing a long, dark corridor, illuminated with candles. 

β€œAnd you. Tend to the sheets.” She instructed the second woman. She nodded furiously, and then scrambled towards the bed. 

Laiba turned on her heel, and strutted out of the dungeon-like room, beckoning me to follow. We walked through the long corridor, and I cautiously looked around, nervous that something would stealthily snatch me and immerse me in shadows. If I did die, I don’t think Laiba would care. After walking in silence for what seemed like hours, I nearly tripped over a staircase placed right in front of me. I was staring at the floor and I didn’t see Laiba ascend, so the staircase wanted revenge for my inattentiveness. I climbed the staircase, my legs burning, and when I finally reached the top, I was greeting with beams of sunlight shining through the windows down the bright hall. There were doors everywhere, and only one was opened, it was the farthest from my position. Laiba took the lead, and started walking to the end of the corridor, and placed there was yet another staircase, but going downwards instead. I abruptly tried to keep her pace, scrambling to stay with her. As I passed the door, I peered into it. I saw an old woman conversing with a little girl about 7 years of age- who looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.

β€œNow tell me what you’ve learned, darling.” The lady looked down at the girl with caring eyes. 

β€œRags are the lowest social status. They have barely anything. Regulars have enough money to get by, right?” The old lady nodded in approval, and the girl continued. β€œRiches have a lot of money and jewels. Royals are heirs to the throne of this kingdom, Ragar. And lastly, the Rares are very uncommon. And they are rumored to have special abilities. Did I get them all right?” 

The woman nodded, and said, β€œDid you know the color of your eyes determine what you are? Brown eyes are Rags. Regulars are green. Riches have blue eyes. Royals are purple, and Rares are rumored to have-” That’s when the nostalgia hit me like a cannon, blocking off all sound. The girl was… the one in the fire. The one who was dying. How is she still alive? I pondered to myself, before suddenly getting interrupted by a sharp bark. 

β€œAvani! Move!” Laiba shouted at me. I jumped, and then took large strides to meet her at the edge of the staircase. It swirled around a column, decorated with tapestries of all sorts. I decided to focus on those rather than my current dilemma. Once we reached the bottom of the spiraling staircase, we were greeted by a large wooden door adorned with a sturdy brass knob. Laiba grasped the knob in her right hand, and turned the door, which opened with a groan. 

I entered the massive room and my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. The room had large glass stained glass art placed strategically on the wall so that at this exact time of day, it would shine onto the magnificent golden throne with velvet purple seats - the centerpiece of the room. Guards were planted at the very edge of the purple carpet leading up to the seat. 

Sitting on the throne was queen Victoria, with understanding lilac eyes, golden locks, and a flowing purple dress. I felt like the rag I was in front of her. 

β€œAh, yes, our visitor.” she said in a clear, flowing voice. β€œAvery, was it?”

β€œAvani.” I muttered, earning a look of disapproval from Laiba, who had likely never heard etiquette that wasn’t as perfect as she was. 

β€œWell, Avani, you seem to be different from your kind. Let me take a look at you.” She murmured. Laiba shoved me towards the queen, causing me to nearly stumble onto my face. I took a few steps toward the queen until I reached the throne. I produce an overdramatic bow before standing right by the queen. She inspects me carefully, before proclaiming the twenty words that would change my life forever. β€œDarling, your eyes actually have a little green, which means they are hazel. You’re not a Rag, you’re a Rare.”

Posted Oct 14, 2020
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95 likes 351 comments

Sia S
October 22, 2020 04:30

Um girl duh!!! I would LOVE to read it!!!!!!

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Sia S
October 22, 2020 16:45

:)!

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Sia S
October 22, 2020 16:45

:)!

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Elliot Lollar
October 21, 2020 19:24

Dude that was amazing. I love the whole premise and how you incorporated the prompt.
Keep it up.

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Thank you so much!!!

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Amanda Kelly
October 21, 2020 18:48

I loved the uniqueness of this story! This should TOTALLY be a book!

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Thank you! I was considering the idea, would you read it if it was??

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Amanda Kelly
October 22, 2020 17:19

Absolutely!! No doubt about it ;)

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Raymond Kelly
October 21, 2020 16:34

Where's the full length novel? When can I read it? This is amazing!

I started reading and was immediately immersed in a well-developed world. The girl was panicking and confused, but then is inferred to partially be the cause of the fire. The random explosions could do with some explanation, although when you start writing full-length novels you'll be able to have that covered. She sees the little girl and you can feel the emotion as she wants to help the little girl so much, but can't. Maybe if you had better explored this one little dynamic of her trying to help the little girl and maybe accidentally causing her fear or harm due to an inability to understand or control her fire abilities, it would have helped her be more connected to the little girl for later in the story.
The caste system is good, it needs development in practice (as in a longer story πŸ˜‚) so you can demonstrate and display dynamics between the different groups. Are people always born with the same eyes as their parents? If people with different eyes have kids, are they one or the other? Are they rare? Are they one AND the other? All this could be explored if you made it a full length novel. Maybe a character could wear special lenses that change the eye color, or get drops that fade by the end of the novel. There's a lot to explore here!

Then she wakes up. I feel like she should be more dazed and confused than flippant and spunky, but once she gets her senses about her and a sense of where she is and what's going on she could get her spunk. Having the 7yo give the exposition material and then having Avani recognize her was effective, and I did want to know how the 7yo survived.

There's got to be a backstory to the doctors' breaking of the caste system which would be interesting to hear about and explore.

And then the queen. Why isn't she scared of Avani? Why isn't Avani scared of the queen? These are justifiable responses, but they have a backstory! I must know.

Where's the book? I'd like to read it. Thanks for the quick, entertaining read. You've got some skill!

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This made my day! Thank you so much, Raymond! I am working on a part 2 right now, and it will be out soon! I will make sure to answer as many of these questions as I can!! Thank you so much for reading!

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Check out my bio!

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Raymond Kelly
October 22, 2020 07:54

Answering these questions is good to do, but you don't have to do it all in the next story. I feel like you have a handle for playing with the universe in a way that feels normal and natural, so if and when it makes sense to answer these questions, do so. If it's irrelevant to the plot to answer one, you could answer it for yourself and write it down in your world building notes, but then only pull it out if it ever becomes necessary. I really am glad you are going to keep working on it!

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Yes, I will keep these things in mind! I've already been writing novels, so I think I will be able to do this one!! Thank you again for all of the advice, it's always super hepful!!

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Nathan Ice
October 20, 2020 23:50

Hey there! Kylie I find it interesting how you wrote about a character who cannot control their fire, whereas I wrote about the exact opposite. Care to give mine a read?

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Nathan Ice
October 21, 2020 16:44

Thanks!

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October 19, 2020 15:03

Hiiiii

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Heyyyy, how are ya?

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Ooh, congrats on 20000 karma points! Also, I LOVE SSSniperWolf, AND Brent, Lexi, Ben, Lexi, et cetera!!

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October 19, 2020 15:53

Thankssss!! Ooh, yay! Noiceeeee I love em allllπŸ€ͺ

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Akshat .
October 19, 2020 16:11

I just like Brent and Lexi.

(Didn't mean to butt in)

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Haha, yes! Brent and Lexi are the best, but I like them all!

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Raquel Rodriguez
October 24, 2020 21:50

Omg, SSSniperwolf is THE best!!!!

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October 19, 2020 15:52

Boreddddd πŸ˜‚ You?

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Sia S
October 17, 2020 03:52

Wow!!! I loved this!!! The whole Rags, Regulars, Roches, and Rares was really unique!! And especially the ending!! I loved the ending. It makes tou soo happy!!

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Thanks so much!! Which one would you be? I would be a Rare!! :)

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Sia S
October 17, 2020 06:02

Any time! Yes, I would like to be a Rare too!

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:) I think everyone would like to be one! Lucky for me, my eyes are hazel and I WOULD be a Rare. What color are your eyes?

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Sia S
October 17, 2020 15:38

Wow! Noice! My eyes are dark brown!

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B. W.
October 16, 2020 23:17

Wait Kylie, do you remember when i was asking you for cover art???

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Umm, I think so... I don't know if I still have the art, tho... so sorry if you needed it!

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B. W.
October 17, 2020 15:00

I just really need it soon, can't ya try to do them again?

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Weren't there some other peeps who were willing to do the art? I'm just really busy with school, and chores, and I have to take care of babies. I also have to work on my novel, write short stories, respond to comments, talk to friends, etc. I might not have time. If I can squeeeeeze it in, I'll do it, though! :)

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B. W.
October 17, 2020 15:38

what- take care of babies? do you babysit or something?

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Yeah, I babysit for one of my jobs. :)

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Hope Rivers
October 16, 2020 20:31

Wow I love it!! I love the idea of your eye color determining your social class. Its genius and unique. So fun!!! Nothing I have ever heard of before. How the heck did you come up with this based on that prompt? Just wondering I have a brown and a blue eye? What social class would I be in? Also it was really well written especially the intro! Great job!!β™‘β™‘β™‘

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This is too sweet! Thank you, Hope! I have a ton of people asking me what social class they would be in, and I LOVE it!! You would be a Regular, because Rag + Rich (my title lol) would make a Regular!! Thanks for asking! Hmm, IDK how I came up with it!! I was writing about the girl's dress catching on fire, and it was purple, the symbol of a Royal, but then I was like, "But people could just wear random clothes. Let's do something better." and I was describing her eyes, so I was like, "Why not?" :) Thanks again! β™‘

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Hope Rivers
October 16, 2020 22:32

Omg. Thanks for responding. That’s cool how you combine the social classes and average it out. Also no problem you deserve it you did a great job!😁

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You're welcome!! :) And thanks again!

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Kylee Kat
October 16, 2020 20:30

OOOOHHHHH, THIS WAS AMAZING! I loved the whole eye-color represents your status thing, but I have a question. What would I be? I have gray eyes! This was so good, though! I'm gonna follow you!

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Thank you SO much!! Hmm, I think grey would be counted as blue in my book, so you would be a Rich. Can you guess which one I would be?

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Kylee Kat
October 16, 2020 23:08

Would you happen to have purple eyes yourself? That would be such a cool eye color! Although I get kinda a greenish-blueish vibe from you... Hmmm... I can definitely see you having brown eyes, though! I have no idea XD.

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I would LOVE to have purple eyes!! I also wish desparately to have blue eyes, cuz I'm a blonde! But, nope! I have hazel eyes!! :)

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At least, I'm told! My eyes actually change color when I wear green or blue. If I am wearing green, my eyes tend to have a greenish hint in the hazel, and if I'm wearing blue, it's the same thing, just with a blue hue! It's pretty cool!

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B. W.
October 15, 2020 22:48

Up-vote for up-vote spree possibly? i wanna get into 6th place

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Sure, let's do it! I want to get a lil higher so that I have, like, 4500 points. Let's do that!

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B. W.
October 16, 2020 15:23

alright ^^

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B. W.
October 15, 2020 21:42

Heyo, you there?

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B. W.
October 16, 2020 15:22

Yay ^^ i'm making a new story at the moment

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B. W.
October 14, 2020 15:43

Hm, i really enjoyed this story and i loved how you put Laiba in the story as well ^^ I'm glad that you were also able to make a new story with these prompts, the fire leaf thing i think is the best one out of all the prompts this week. I'm gonna go and give this a 10/10 :)

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Thank you so much!! :)

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B. W.
October 14, 2020 15:45

No problem :) is anyone else going to be in the next part, IF there's gonna be a next part?

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Yes, there will definitely be more! I might include some more of my friends!

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B. W.
October 14, 2020 15:56

If it's alright, could i maybe be in it?

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Oooh, sure! You'd need a name other than Bri, though, because that's used in my other story!

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Lexi Mellor
November 02, 2020 18:25

SURPRISED

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Lexi Mellor
November 02, 2020 18:25

hi

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Lexi Mellor
November 02, 2020 18:25

I love this

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Sia S
November 01, 2020 07:00

Nice pp!

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B. W.
October 28, 2020 15:58

Kylie, check out my bio and tell me what you think, there's something for you and some other friends on it ^^

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B. W.
October 28, 2020 16:01

:) i hope you'll like it ^^

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Sia S
October 28, 2020 03:21

New story out!

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Okay! Also, do you want to upvote each other?? I got downvoted... :(

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Sia S
October 29, 2020 03:13

Ohh. Sure! Can I do it a bit later? Schools going on. But you'll have about 250 points in an hour or 2

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Sure! Already upvoted you!!

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Sia S
October 30, 2020 04:53

Done!! 250!

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B. W.
October 27, 2020 22:32

Heya amiga :) how are ya?

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B. W.
October 26, 2020 22:43

I made another story :D could you check out "He isn't real...or is he?" and leave some feedback?

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B. W.
October 26, 2020 23:37

:)

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Raquel Rodriguez
October 26, 2020 13:04

Hey Kylie! Just asking, puppy or kitty? :)

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Ooooh, puppy 4 sure

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Raquel Rodriguez
October 26, 2020 17:31

Yay, I knew it! :D

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Raquel Rodriguez
October 26, 2020 19:13

Same, thanks! Also, I'm writing a story right now, and I'll tell you when it's out, could you read it and tell me what you think? I really hope you enjoy it :)

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Sia S
October 26, 2020 05:59

What's up

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B. W.
October 26, 2020 04:10

Hey, i could use some help with something

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Lulu Lemon
October 26, 2020 02:53

Amazing storyy!!! It was so beautiful and well written, how do you write like that?! lol.
OMG! Congrats on being 14th on the lb! I am so proud of you, you deserve it!! :)

And also we haven't talked in so long :( I miss our convos.

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Aww, Lulu!! Thank you so much!!!!! I miss our convos too!!! :))))))

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Lulu Lemon
October 30, 2020 14:21

Your welcomeeee!

lol, that smiley face looks like it has a double-wait sextuple (I had to look that up)-chin.

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Lulu Lemon
October 31, 2020 23:12

And thank you for mentioning me in your bio!!

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Lulu Lemon
October 31, 2020 23:17

ANDDDD check my bio!!!! I got insipred my you to do a little quick thing!!!!!!!!!!!

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Awwww, thanks Lulu!!

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