The Queen Who Wished To Remember

Once Upon a Time… There was a Young Queen living in a beautiful kingdom, in a beautiful castle, married to a charming Young King.

The Young Queen had everything: she lived in the castle of her dreams, with high ceilings and wooden floors, in the Kingdom she had always dreamt of. She had been rescued from the lands of Nothingness by the Young King.

She had nothing to complain about. She had everything she needed. She had everything she had always wanted.

Or at least, that’s what the irritated Young King would always say to her whenever she expressed her needs.

And days went by in Dormant Kingdom. Nothing to complain about. She had everything she had asked for.

And still, the Young Queen felt there was something missing. She was confused: the more she looked, the less she saw.

It didn’t make sense; she was grateful for everything she had and still, she felt… Uneasy. Unfulfilled. Unhappy.

With time and reason, she learned not to complain much to the scary Young King. Her rescuer. With time and no reason, he would end up calling her Drama Queen.

She did not want to be a Drama Queen. That wasn’t herself. She knew, at the back of her mind, that she used to be more than that title in the lands of Nothingness…

If only she could remember.

But he imposed that title on her in the Dormant Kingdom. He felt entitled to name his wife that way. Diligently, the King made sure every subject in the land remembered the once-loved Young Queen as a Drama Queen.

With time, she also started to refer to herself as such even when the entitled Young King wasn’t around. At the end of the day, she thought she owed him. He rescued her. She loved him.

Eventually, she accepted her fate as a Drama Queen and the fact that there was something wrong with her. She was a selfish, ungrateful queen who didn’t appreciate all the goodness she had been given by the generous Young King.

She was lazy for wanting more and not doing enough to get it. She was incomplete and it was all her fault. She wasn’t enough, neither for the poor Young King, nor for the Dormant Kingdom.

And the sun would rise and set day after day. But days weren’t as sunny or bright as she remembered in the good old days. In fact, the Dormant Kingdom became darker and gloomier over time. Even the once Young King wasn’t as charming, or caring.

Suddenly, the Young King became distant and demanding. But the Drama Queen couldn’t comprehend the reason behind this sudden shift…

The Drama Queen thought it was all her fault. Perhaps she had been complaining too much, and doing too little. ‘Perhaps’, she thought, ‘if only I could know what I have done wrong.’

It took no time for the Dormant Kingdom to turn into a cold, dark land full of spines. It took no time for the Young King to turn into a Dark King.

The Drama Queen desperately wanted the Dormant Kingdom to be the bright and joyful land it once was. Perhaps, she thought, there was something she could do to amend her faults.

‘But, what could I possibly do?’ She desperately wondered.

‘I will work tirelessly to be a good Queen. I will do anything to restore the light, so we can be happy again.’ The Drama Queen was determined to save the Dormant Kingdom from the hollow darkness. She was willing to earn back the love of her corrupted husband and his kingdom.

But, the more she tried to think, the less energy she had. 

Sadly, she realised she couldn’t do it all by herself. She needed her Young King to help her. At the end of the day, a kingdom is better ruled by two sovereigns who share the weight of the crown.

But the Young King wasn’t there anymore. He had already been consumed by the darkness. It was only when the castle with high ceilings and wooden floors became a cold and sombre prison, that the Dark King demanded his Drama Queen to bring the brightness of the old days back.

‘I’m trying, I really am!’ the Drama Queen would desperately say in tears. Consumed in his suffering, the despicable Dark King wouldn’t believe her. It wasn’t enough for him. 

But nothing was ever enough for him. Nothing had ever been.

The Drama Queen felt lost and confused in the darkness… Everything was crumbling down in Dormant Kingdom, and there were far too many holes to fix with only two hands.

She felt she was trapped in a dark and hollow prison with no way out.

But there is always a way.

One day, when the Dark King went hunting – as a way of getting some relief to his suffering, our Drama Queen got paid a visit by an old friend of hers from the lands of Nothingness… She was one of the brightest Spark Fairies.

Spark Fairies only pay visits when they feel there’s no more light in their Queens, and they only need to ask a question to bring clarity back. That’s their power.

Even though our Drama Queen barely remembered her, she knew the reason behind the visit was powerful, and listened carefully to the wisdom the Spark Fairy had to say:

‘How can you restore the light of a whole kingdom when you’ve lost yours, my dear Young Queen?’

As expected, it only took one question for the magic to happen.

She finally found her missing key: her spark. And it was quickly fading. What’s more: a whisper inside her reminded her that it wasn’t her fault.

In a brief but powerful moment of clarity, she remembered that the Dormant Kingdom wasn’t her rightful kingdom. That her husband had not ever cared for her or his land. What’s more: she remembered that she didn’t need to stay. The pain was not hers to endure.

Finally, our once Drama Queen saw the answers to her prayers clearly.

And then, the unexpected happened.

The fog started to fade. It was a thick fog she had not been aware of until that moment. She saw what she truly was to her once-loved king and the land he ruled. She saw the way out and wasn’t afraid anymore of the darkness. 

‘It only takes one moment in time to regain clarity, you see?’ Said the cheerful Spark Fairy, happy to see the face of the Queen lit up again, despite the painful truth.

Quietly, the brave Queen gathered strength from her vulnerable spark. The more the decaying castle crumbled, the more of her courage returned. 

Day by day, she would feel the sharp pain in her chest, seeing the neglect her once-beloved husband was inflicting carelessly. Night after night, the Dark King would shout and snap at her as usual. But the Queen stopped complaining, or begging for mercy.

‘This is all your fault, you lazy Drama Queen!’ The Dark King shouted in rage one especially dark day, after the heavy storms had destroyed their bed chamber. It was then, when she decided it was time to confront the Dark King for the last time. Not to complain, nor to beg, but to leave the Dormant Kingdom for good.

‘I am no Drama Queen. The wind has blown for weeks and you have done nothing except leaving at dawn and returning at night. Our chamber is destroyed, and your kingdom is enraged. Tonight, I am leaving the castle for good, since this crown and this kingdom have never been mine to hold.’ 

It was then, after leaving her heavy crown on the ragged throne of the crumbled castle, and removing the tight corset that battered her body, that our Queen felt the lightness of freedom. The moment she saw the doors of the decayed castle closing, her once hidden wings started to grow again. 

With unprecedented strength, she took off towards the Green Lands. Away from the dark Dormant Kingdom, in search of the light.

Her light.

Despite her hope, she could not help but look back at the big cloud of smoke growing in the distance, back at the Dormant Kingdom. The wind quickly dried the tears she shed for the place she thought she could be loved. But there was no way to go back anymore. 

Despite the pain of losing everything, the hope of starting over served as a balm. In the Green Lands, our brave Queen didn’t have a crown, or a kingdom, or a castle. 

After releasing the burden of a heavy crown, and gaining the freedom of an uncorseted body, she felt for once a free spirit – a joyful nomad.

In the Green Lands, the Queen began to enjoy the sunshine, dancing barefoot and discovering the wonders of new, exotic territories, far away from Dormant Kingdom. Every day was an adventure, and no one would recognise her as the once-called Drama Queen. 

It was only on the early rainy days of her newfound freedom when she reminisced about the bright, early days of the Dormant Kingdom, and the love that used to fill her heart. It was on those days, when she started to go into the forest as a ritual and dance under the rain. 

‘Life is light, life is wonderful.’ the Queen reminded herself, feeling every drop on her bare skin.

And the sun would rise and set, day by day in her new, nomad life.

Her wings grew faster and stronger, her light became more powerful, her smile more relaxed and her eyes would shine again.

She had nothing to complain about, for there was genuinely nothing to complain about.

She had everything she needed. She had everything she wanted. She was truly happy.

There was something to be truly grateful for, every single day. The bumpy roads turned into exciting adventures, and the occasional storms were challenges that would prove the strength of her wings, reinforcing the power of her light.

Our Queen embraced her nomad spirit wholly as her state of being. Doing what she wanted, when she wanted.

She wasn’t afraid of anything and ready for everything.

But life acts in mysterious ways, as we already know.

Life can change in just one moment. As we already know.

Little did she know, though.

One cold evening, as our Queen was on one of her expeditions, a big storm hit the woods. As a nomad spirit, she knew it was best to find shelter and wait to let the storm pass. She knew the area very well, and had no problem finding her favourite haven quickly.

And just as in every fairy tale, there was a Rightful Prince standing in the crowded space.

And just as in every fairy tale, it only took a brief moment to create powerful change.

That evening, the Queen in disguise discovered that she could truly see someone with just one look. Despite the brief moment. Despite the silence between them. Despite the noise around them. She was a Queen standing in front of a Rightful Prince. As a strong sense of powerful knowing grew in her, the Rightful Prince vanished in the crowd, leaving the Queen in a momentary daze.

‘Some brief moments can be more powerful than a hundred years in Dormant Kingdom,’ she thought, astonished.

Indeed, some forces can be more powerful than our human understanding, dear Queen. A soft whisper coming from the wind voiced the inner wisdom she needed to hear, as she softly flew her way back to her haven.

The Rightful Prince might have swept her off her feet, but she had trained her wings to fly on their own. The winds of change might have shaken her, but she managed to stay steady.

That evening, our Queen returned to the tower she carefully chose as a home. Full of energy and optimism, she wondered whether she might see that Rightful Prince again.

But life acts in mysterious ways, as we already know. As she was starting to know.

Little did she know that evening, she would be enjoying one of the last days of her happy, nomad life. Little did she know that a chapter was closing. Little did she know of the nasty battles she had ahead of her.

Little did we know.

Shortly after that, a dark and evil force, more powerful than all the dark demons living in the Underworld, took charge of the fate of all creatures in every land.

All the creatures were scared of this Evil Force, as it destroyed everything it touched. Mercilessly.

Suddenly, there was nothing left but fear and loss. Everything seemed hopeless, dark and very dangerous.

Every creature was urged to stay home in order to survive the Evil Force. Suddenly, being a nomad became too risky.

And just as in every fairy tale, our once free Queen got locked in her tower. Indefinitely.

But unlike every other fairy tale, instead of waiting to be rescued, the Queen used her time in lockdown to work on herself: improving her wings, so she could fly stronger and faster; shedding old skin that was no longer needed, so she could be seen as her true self if she saw Rightful Prince again.

As the days went by, she would peacefully contemplate the sun rise and set from the balcony of her tower, wondering when the Evil Force would fade away.

Wondering whether she might see the Rightful Prince again.

Wondering how that moment would be. Wondering whether she would be up to it.

‘If I see the Rightful Prince again, I should be ready for it.’ She would think.

And the days went by, healing deep, infected wounds and learning to love hidden scars she once rejected. Recovering her lost voice and learning how to use it again. Taking deep care of her vulnerable, new skin and celebrating every progress she made on her intimate journey.

She thought the force behind her inner change was driven by her love for the Rightful Prince… when actually, she was doing all the work by herself. For herself.

It’s curious how love works sometimes.

However, in the same way life is mysterious, time is wise; and slowly, progressively, something more powerful than a Dark King, a Rightful Prince and an Evil Force together started to arise.

After so many seasons, our Queen realised that she had undergone every battle, every challenge, healed every wound, and restored every feather of her wings…on her own. After so many sunsets on her balcony, wondering whether she might see the Rightful Prince again, she realised that… it didn’t matter anymore.

Just as the illusion for the Rightful Prince faded out, in a moment that felt like magic, she suddenly found a deep love, stronger than the pull she felt for the Young King, or the Rightful Prince. The nurturing love she craved. The nurturing love she forgot she could have. And that made her glow with joy from a powerful source that came from within.

It was then, when the lands of Nothingness became a clear, vivid memory…as she was finally embodying who she had always been but barely remembered.

She was a Rightful Heroine: her life was hers to be lived. Her adventure was hers to be chosen.

The blur was gone and our Heroine finally found what was missing.

She finally found her true Self.

Once upon a time, there was a Rightful Heroine who wanted to recover the light of a Dormant Kingdom, and ended up recovering her freedom while locked in a tower.

And she lived happily, free, ever after.

                           THE BEGINNING.