i gotta tell yeah

I gotta tell yeah

‘Listen, I gotta tell yah my story, how it actually happened. Well, to start at the beginning, which I’m told is a good place to start, Louie says, ‘Is the food good here?’

‘I said, “yeah, it's good, mainly pizzas … but there’s a better place around the corner- Mario’s, looks like a pizzeria, but there’s a private room at the back where you get the really good stuff, like real authentic.’

‘He says: ‘Great, let go’, and that’s how we ended up at the scene of the crime, bit like the bit in Godfather, the bit, I think in number two, although it could be number one, anyway, the bit where Al Pacino shoots the cop.’

‘Anyway, Mickey, the waiter, shows us to our table in the back.’

‘We was eating our spaghetti, it was really great, you know really Sicilian, really hot and spicy and it’s really good, and then there’s this bang – well two actually, but more like a pop, cause we were at the back near the kitchen door.

‘It didn’t sound like a gun, not like in the movies, where it's a really Big Bang, it was just a sort of big fart, if you will excuse the language.’

‘Anyway, I remember looking around, and these two blokes in the corner, near the window, also looking around, one had the long cardboard box at his feet, but that wasn’t unusual cause it was almost Christmas, two weeks off, anyway, they both had their hands in their pockets, they looked very intense.’

‘The only other customers, mid-week always slow, were two middle-aged couples that looked like they were from Central Casting, the C list, you know - no lines, just local colour.

‘But the middle, unturned tables- blood, pizzas and wine everywhere, and two bodies, but to be honest all I could really see was their legs and shoes- we joked later ‘We were lookingin at their souls, anyway, Louie whispers, ‘Psst… I think that Lucky-Joe-Bronzini, the local Mafia boss!’

‘The next thing I remember was red flashing lights, funny how time comes and goes- slow and quick; I turned to Louie, and he says, ‘This ain't looking healthy!’

‘‘The next thing is a couple of bullets shatter the front glass window.

‘Cops gotta show they are the boss, they’re in charge, no matter what!’ says Louie, from under the bar where we are both shelter’n’.

‘Then Louise says, ‘How come they are here so quick, beside the dead body at the centre table, what’s their problem?’

‘Smells like a set-up to me’, he says. I nod.’

‘The blokes from the window table are now behind the bar, where we have a hold-up like the last stand of the Alamo. I have never consciously read our local paper, itza rag, but if I had, I guess I would have immediately recognised our new-found companions.

‘A couple of shots from the back-alley ricochet around the kitchen and we are joined by the cook and his assistant.

‘Come out with your hands above your head’, barks one of those new-fangled megaphones.’

‘Silence only broken by a second volley of bullets from the cops, which shatters the mirror above the bar, one of them fancy ones with lots of gold curlicues around it. Mario gets real angry, ‘Bloody f--- hell’, he yells, ‘that was my grandfather’s, he brought it all the way from the old country- you bustards’, and unloads both barrels of the bartender’s shotgun in the direction of the police-car lights.

‘Darkness and more silence, then more cars arrive, headlight on, as the winter cold sweeping in through the broken windows.’

‘The lap-dog of a megaphone barks again, ‘It’s your last warning!’

‘Mario slowly stands up, ‘It’s my place, gotta end this’, and he walks to the front door, hands high.’

‘Now, it was so fast, I don’t know, it’s like Mario he stumbled, must of like slipped on the ice or tripped on the gutter, he sort of moves to catch his balance, as three bullets bring him down.’

‘Mickey the waiter curses and suddenly he has a gun and he’s firing out the window at the cops, till he’s out of ammo’

‘Sitting there in the dark, I suddenly remember who the bloke was who was sitting by the window, he looked familiar, it's Nick-the-Greek, banker to the local mob.

‘Nothing much happens for about an hour, it's bloody cold, then in the dark the bar phone rings and stops. Then it rings again, and Louie, who’s the closest, answers it: “yeah …. yeah … nah … OK ……. Yeah … Ok.’

‘The cop boss says, ‘it’s your last chance - one at a time, hands high and no sudden moves,’ that if you can trust them bastards.’

‘After a long while I says, ‘well we ain't got no options, stay, and we come a pin-cushion, ‘so we all agree.’

‘Slowly, like one of them sci-fi movies, hands above our heads, one by one, we slowly walk out into the bright light. First in line are the bewildered customers who were out for a quiet night, then the cook, his assistant, next Louie and then me.’

‘Now let me let you know how the story ends: Behind me, I’m aware of Nick-the-Greek standing up, starting to follow me, when he remembers and suddenly crosses the room and bends down to pick up the Christmas box under his window table. As he stands up, a volley of bullets spins him around, the box goes flying, and a plastic toy submachine gun flies across the room, landing in the broken glass of the bar mirror. ‘

‘We freeze—total silence.

‘Cease fire, you idiots!’

‘Slowly, like some strange dream, things come back to life.’

‘Outside, I do a mental count, and realise Mickey the waiter is missing.’

‘Cause I say noth’n.’

‘Later I hear, the word around the neighbourhood, Mickey’s recovering from frostbite in Florida, having waited out the coppers in the cool-room and left when they left. Apparently, Mickey had the contact on Luck-Joe.’

‘Think’n about that night, it was strange the cops showed up when they did, and strange that two big mafioso dons tak'n a permanent vacation on the same night. … I says with a smile: the way I see it we got the Saturday night movie up close and for free, and I guess this was all my fault.’