The reunion

I stared at the empty wine glass that sat in front of me on the kitchen counter. I wanted to pour more wine. I knew I shouldn’t. I had work in the morning. Still, the glass was begging me to pour some more. Fortunately, I was interrupted by my familiar text tone coming from the pocket of my black jacket. I had embroidered with tiny blue flowers on a wintry June morning when I was fifteen. My parents had taken my brother to the movies and left me alone for most of the day. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to fish my phone out of my pocket and type in my password. Within seconds of reading the text, I knew who it was from. He texted the way he spoke, overly formal and polite in a way that made you want to kill him if he got too close. The text said:

Hello Blair Mary Nightingale,

I regret that we have not seen each other for the past ten years, though I accept no responsibility for that. I’m on a business trip around in Australia and have just arrived in Melbourne. Tomorrow I have no obligations and would like to extend an invitation for us to meet. I suggest Highpoint, at the Sushi Train, at noon. When I say sushi train I am referring to the place that sells sushi in the peculiar manner of getting the sushi to travel around in circles so you can grab your own. I trust this location and time are acceptable. Your mother and father miss you an unexpected amount if that will sway you.

Yours sincerely, Matthew

I stumbled backwards and hit my head on the side of my kitchen table. The world was spinning, and not just because of the wine. I felt my legs give out, I heard my phone fall with a clatter before everything went black… I was seventeen again and it was Christmas. My whole family was sitting in my childhood living room, passing neatly wrapped presents around to each other. My head was hanging low my shoulders were hunched and my eyes were glassy. I was holding a mug with jolly Santa clues on it, filled with hot chocolate. That hadn’t happened for a long time. Some jolly Christmas song was playing and I hugged Matthew as a thank you for the sewing machine he got me. “I’m leaving. I can’t take them anymore,” I wispeared in his ear. He pulled away from the hug and stood up. “You shall not abandon me. I love you!” He yelled in indignation. I stood up so I could look him in the eyes when I said, “I can and I will.” I started to walk away when Matthew called out in cruel desperation, “That job won’t be yours anymore if you insist on being so selfish and leaving,” “I value my sanity more than a stupid job. I can get another even better one in seconds,” I said as I turned back to lock Matthew with a cold expression. “I sincerely doubt it,”

I woke up on the floor, my makeup smeared along my pale skin, my once perfectly curled hair incredibly tangled, my jacket creased and wrinkled from being slept in. I quickly decided to call in sick if I was going to see Matthew. I would not have the mental capacity to lie to annoying rich people about the terrible clothes they wanted to buy. I heated my job for more reasons than just that though, being around clothes was like someone twisting a knife in my gut. I could have been a fashion designer but Matthew and my parents ruined that dream.

Three hours later I was sitting behind the wheel of my beat up Toyota and driving towards Highpoint. I had changed clothes into a pair of black fishnet leggings, denim ripped shorts a black t-shirt with a white rose in the centre of it and a purple zip up hoodie.The outfit was something that would send Matthew into a coma. That was the very reason I had picked it. I clutched the steering wheel a little too tight as I drove just below the speed limit. The traffic was ghastly, yet again it was always horrendous. I cursed myself under my breath for picking such a bad time to drive to highpoint but then I remembered that Matthew had picked the time so I started to curse him instead. Aggravatingly when I arrived at Highpoint which was at 12 pm exactly all the parking spots had been taken up. I leaned my head against the steering wheel, closed my eyes and took a slow careful breath. “It’s ok, I’ll be ok. No one ever died of lack of car park,” I told myself. “That’s mine now,” I said triumphantly as I watched a Tesla pull out of a parking spot near me.

My feet didn’t want to move any closer to Matthew. It was like they remembered the cruel words he’d used and the things he’d done. The job opportunity he had snatched away. But I had done worse to him. I had used words that were objectively worse and I had, at least from his perspective, abandoned him. I watched him from where my feet had become stuck, about ten meters away from the sushi train. Matthew was as handsome as ever with perfect blue eyes glistening like stars. He was, as always, wearing a navy blue suit that brought out the colour of his eyes. Finally I moved towards him breathing shakily and clenching my hands in tight fists. “Hi Matthew,” I spoke in a horse tone that, hopefully, sounded unbothered. He looked taken aback at my outfit, his eyes travelling across it in horror. “Oh… hello Blair Mary Nightingale… please um… sit,” he replied, gesturing to the light brown, grubby seat on the other side of the booth he was sitting at. I sat and looked away from him. Minutes passed by in which neither one of us said anything. The sushi went by but I didn’t take any, just stared at it gloomily. “What great conversation we are making!” Matthew, declared sarcastically. “I’m sorry Matthew but what do you expect us to talk about?” I asked, still avoiding his eyes. “How about the sushi? It looks simply delectable,” he suggested as he took a blue plate with four small avocado sushi rolls on it. “I thought we would talk about…um… you know what happened with mum and dad,” I managed. “I say, Blair Mary Nightingale, you are missing out!” “On what?” “The food. Do you often inhabit this place?” “No, I hate sushi! Don’t you remember?” “Oh dear! Blair Mary Nightingale, where is your taste?" He asked with mock horror. He was starting to get on my last nerve. “Stop using my full name!” I yelled, slamming my hands on the table which caused people enjoying the sushi to give us judgmental stairs. Embarrassment washed over me and I shrank down in my seat. “This is what mother and father mean when they say you always get the room's attention,” Matthew muttered while taking a bite of sushi. “If we are going to have this conversation then let’s have it now before I rip your damn head clean off!” Matthew looked quite startled by the tone I’d used. “Relax. I was abandoned, not you,” he said pointedly. I waited for him to grab another plate of sushi before I spoke, “I’m sorry but you don’t get to be all high and mighty,” “Why not? compared to you I am high and mighty,”. “They did awful things. You do know that right?” “Yes, I am well aware of the “grievances” you faced. I love then though and you should as well.” His face was turning red as he started forgetting to be so polite. “I don’t need to love them. They never liked me! Not even a little. I tried to perfect but my perfect wasn’t perfect enough so I just gave up. I hated them even more when you did nothing and got love and affection. You also did terrible things to me and got no repercussions. But I never hated you even though you definitely loved them more than me,” I told him, finally able to make eye contact. “No that simply isn’t true I loved you equally,” he spoke with so much certainty that I almost believed him, “They hurt me as well. When you left mother and father stopped communicating with me. They were practically infatuated with you. I wasn’t good enough and I will never be again. At least not until you come back or I abandon them. Only I can’t leave. I haven't got all the courage that you possess and the whole reason I have this job is because of them.” “That’s not the whole reason though is it,” my stomach dropped suddenly after I said that because of how damn sad Matthew looked. “My sincerest apologies for stealing that job from you. You deserved it more than I did but I just… I… I just wanted you to suffer,” After saying that Matthew started to sob uncontrollably. Everyone at the sushi train was watching us then with judgmental eyes eitherinterest. I moved to sit beside him and put an arm around him. He leaned gratefully into the hug muttering something I couldn’t decipher through his sobs. “You are still my little brother. I forgive you,” I reassured him. From in between his sobs he squeaked, “I forgive you, as well.”