Jim E Brown Relives the European Union Referendum 21 Times

June 23rd, 2016

My name is Jim E Brown, and this is a diary. The therapist said I need to keep one. I’m an obese alcoholic 19-year old with several degenerative conditions. If anyone is reading this I was born on September 10th on 2001. I live in Didsbury, Manchester. I am an activist, poet, and songwriter, although my songs are a bit shit really. Most of my hobbies include drinking alcohol and eating crisps in bed. I quite like Walkers chips in the blue bag. They are delicious, to be fair.

Today I decided to write this and go back to bed. I know there’s a vote on something, but frankly I really don’t care. Most of my best memories aren’t real anyway. I’m happier when I’m unconscious. There’s too many people yelling about Brexit but I don’t care I’m just going back to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

I walked outside and saw the chanting about Brexit again, so I finally was told to go vote and I said to remain, which was stressful, so I took a bottle of Hennessey that was left on Spath Road because I care about where I walk. I’m also an alcoholic. The queue at Gregg’s was too long so I started to cry until I got a sausage roll. I went home and kept crying because the weight of the UK is on my shoulders with a single vote. My face was in pain from all the tears and grieving I did so I decided to go back to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

It’s still morning so I went and ate some more minced pork from the fridge and went outside but I got dragged to Ivy Manchester Church to vote to remain again. I felt like a baby in a pram, which is what I dreamed of being last night. There was still a bottle of Hennessey laid down on Spath Road, so I drank it like mummy’s milk.

There was also some bread on the street at the park and ate it. Pollution is very terrible and I go out of my way to combat it. One of the reasons I’m addicted to salad cream is because too many idiots are feeding the ducks and geese bread so I have to eat it and there’s no condiments. It’s a big problem here in Didsbury and I have to keep cleaning it up otherwise there will be giant rats.

I went to Gregg’s stumbling like a fat fuck. I fell down in a ditch in the park and aside from the fall it was quite nice. The dirt was very soft and it made me feel like a pig, which I didn’t enjoy but deserved. So, if you see this note, that’s what I’m doing.

June 23rd, 2016

I got back up and went to the refrigerator in the caravan again but I didn’t feel any pain. I decided I would quit Prozac to continue drinking, which I’m also making a song about because that’s how shit my songs are. All music is shit really.

The raw mined pork was still as lovely as ever so I ate it by the fistful and drank down some salad cream. I was in luck because the Hennessey from Spathe Road was still there. I think someone refilled it. Then I got dragged off to vote on the referendum again.

I’m not concerned really, I know we’ll be fine. I’m more concerned about the parks here because when I walk around them, I want the parks to not feel like a dumpster. I’m already horrible as it is so I don’t want the parks getting shat up like my body. If you see me choking on food don’t help me, I’m trying to be happy for once.

June 23rd, 2016

I strummed my guitar about my ex-girlfriend that I love. The problem is I don’t want her back because she’s a bit of a cunt. I think its still morning but I’m going back to bed because I hate sunrises. These people keep yelling about Brexit or something and I just want them to fuck off, that would be nice.

I got dragged out of my house to go to a Mosque and vote remain on the referendum so I sat there and said why you shouldn’t abuse alcohol to children. They were quite nice but the food seemed overly seasoned. I quite like Gregg’s better but they do have some good brad there. It reminds me of crisps in a way. It made me go to the super market and get crisps. There was a goth girl that scared me but she was reasonably attractive. Mixed feelings like this give me emotional damage.

Now I am going to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

I woke up in my caravan and ate some more crisps in bed and went back to sleep. I had a lovely dream about being a baby in a pram again. I’m writing a song about that soon if I remember it, but I’m an alcoholic, so I have to write this down. I went to my refrigerator and ate the minced pork and went back to sleep again like the dirty bitch I am.

I wrote a love letter to some goth girl that I was in the aisle of Tesco that I saw yesterday and now I want to rip up my letter. It didn’t feel like yesterday because I think I went there to get more Walkers chips. It might have been a dream, I don’t know but I’m going back to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

Somehow this day hasn’t ended, so I guess I can do whatever I need to. I went to the pharmacy and cancelled my prescription and told them to fuck off and stop calling me and then dragged to the Didsbury Central Mosque to vote No again. I was so glad I was drunk because the weight of the nation is not fun to have on my shoulders. Politics is simpler when you don’t think about the country, it’s quite shit isn’t it? I would rather be in America getting chopped up into a mince pie and served to customers. I’ll need to research if that’s something I can do.

I went to Gregg’s and saw if crying in the middle of line would get what I wanted and it worked. I managed to get my sausage roll. I went back to my caravan after that and went back to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

I found this large roll of paper with the same bloody date on it, so I am going to keep writing on it and then I'm going back to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

I made it a point to abuse alcohol and picked up the Hennessey on Spathe Road and then went to the Wetherspoons. I was dragged out by the barkeep because I kept abusing alcohol from the back.

I was dragged to vote on the referendum again to Cavendish Primary School and I just became depressed. Schools remind me when I was a boy and didn’t need to care. Now I’m just reminded about how mice ate my childhood toys and when I was given a wedgie from the entire football team. I took up the fetal position in the middle of the field and cried and then will now sleep next to a tree. I found some Nyquil so I downed that with Hennessey from Spath road.

June 23rd, 2016

This paper gets longer and my liver gets fatter like my gut. I can’t wait to die of kidney damage. I saw my urine was foamy the other day.

June 23rd, 2016

My name is Jim E Brown and if you can read this it’s still the same day. I will admit to voting three times on the referendum because I want to be in jail since it’s what I deserve. I am about to Google how to make prison alcohol otherwise I will just abuse rubbing alcohol.

I was just dragged to Ivy Manchester Church and I told them I already voted but they said I didn’t so now I am part of a big vote fraud scheme and I think that’s lovely. I went to Gregg’s to celebrate so I cried and oinked like a pig and I didn’t get the sausage roll I wanted. I need to be taken care of. I went to the pharmacy and asked to get back on my Prozac again and they said I never stopped, which was lovely of them to say. I will down this whole bottle now.

June 23rd, 2016

I think I’m being taken care of because I arrived back in my caravan with my long piece of paper, it’s quite nice. I decided to go outside and grab the Hennessey just after I drink the other beers in my fridge.

June 23rd, 2016

I blacked out and my name’s Jim E Brown and I’m disgusting and somehow didn’t throw up and die. I ate some minced pork and some beers and downed the Prozac. I’m scratching myself all over and still downing the Hennessey from Spathe Road because I need it quite frankly.

I got apprehended by some activists again to vote and I said I can’t I’m too drunk. They punched me in the face, which actually was needed because I’m a fat fuck and can’t feel anything anyway. I was dragged to Ivy Manchester Church again to vote no and I just got depressed, so I ate all the bread crumbs and pieces in the park with my salad cream and drank myself halfway to death.

June 23rd, 2016

I would love if today ended because this one reminded me of yesterday. That would be nice, so I'm off to bed.

June 23rd, 2016

I went directly to Gregg’s and got a sausage roll because I was first in line and felt no difference in my day. I was dragged to the Mosque this time to vote and I was told that I didn’t vote before even though I did. After that I went to Tesco and saw the goth girl and told her that I don’t want to love her but I did. She then took me to a Wetherspoons and stuffed my fat head with fish and chips. The custard was quite lovely that’s about it. I took her back to my caravan and told her I don’t like sex so she watched me eat crisps and strum my guitar.

June 23rd, 2016

I am too ugly and the goth girl left me because I don’t deserve love and happiness even though I crave being treated like a baby in a pram. I left and saw the bottle of Hennessey and drank it and fell on my ass. I think I have a concussion.

June 23rd, 2016

I thought it was noon but it was only 9:38 AM so I went to get the Hennessey that someone keeps refilling and voted to leave to see if anyone would notice. Then I went off to Greggs and felt instant guilt then went back to recast my vote but they said I was too drunk to change it. So, I sat outside and cried for two hours.

I went to Tesco after that and saw the goth girl again and said that I’m a fat fuck that loves crisps. I sang a poem I made and then she wanted to go to Wetherspoons again and eat fish and chips.

She kissed me and I didn’t deserve it because I was eating bread from the park again just a few hours before. I told her that and why and then she said I understood nature so well and invited me for sex. I still declined because I’m ugly and don’t like sex so she left sadder than me then let her back in to watch me play guitar and then it happened anyway.

June 23rd, 2016

She left again and I ate minced pork to cope with the anxiety but it still seems to be the same day. I went and cried in my bathroom and then went to vote again. I’m throwing myself into the river Thames.

June 23rd, 2016

My name is Jim E Brown and I broke time and space to keep being an alcoholic. I decided to act upon all my power fantasies like drink from the back of Wetherspoons, eat all the sausage rolls in Gregg’s and vote 5 times on the referendum. I hope the Met police shoot me.

June 23rd, 2016

I am truly unlucky, because what’s the point? Voting doesn’t matter. Eating doesn’t matter. Drinking doesn’t matter. Sleeping doesn’t matter. Sex doesn’t matter. It’s the same shit every day. Now it’s the same day with the same shit. I am going to pray to God to see if that helps.

June 23rd, 2016

I’m about to vomit again but I did everything that was good, like vote and ask the goth girl to push me in a Tesco cart like a baby in a pram and it was quite lovely. Then she insisted to see my caravan.

June 24th, 2016

It's finally tomorrow, do I have dementia?