Inday

The sidewalk felt warm to their hands and knees. Not even warm, really. More like walking on a cloud—smooth and airy, if that made sense.

Big people walked past them, without even so much as a glance downward at the little infant crawling around unaccompanied. They reached out with one hand, eyes drooping. “Ma….Ma,” they moaned, words garbled.

Nobody stopped. They looked around again, and again reached out. “Da…Da…” they whispered. “Ma… Ma….”

Still, the people did not stop.

Once more they extended heir fingers, this time grasping with their tiny fingers.

They screamed as one person’s leg passed right through through their fingers, making their hands shake, shift, and then reform as if nothing happened. They whimpered as another big person, dirty-looking hair on its face, walked from side-to-side. Their chest tightened as it came closer, coughing hoarsely and carrying a small, brown object.

On their right machines, lots of them, sped on by, occasionally slowing and stopping. The machines came in so many colours: blue, red, grey, green, and even yellow. Each time they moved they hummed and buzzed, and two wheels supported them, always spinning and stopping.

They shifted slightly towards the left. They have seen those machines many times, yet never knew what they were. The sounds of those things always frightened them, making the infant shift each time one of those things neared.

The baby crawled backward, whimpering as the big people continued to pass on by. The creature in front of them lifted the object to its face, held it there for a bit, and then said words they could not make out.

They wailed as the big, scary person in front of them threw the object their way. It broke upon contact with sidewalk with a loud SMASH! And pieces—sharp, tiny pieces—flew everywhere, with some flying into their face.

“WAAAH!” They wailed as their face shook, blurring their vision.

Their vision steadied to see big people continue to walk past, neither slowing nor regarding them. They looked up to see the sun, hovering above them in the sky, warming them like someone that wanted to hug them, and yet could only do so from so far away.

They cooed and reached out towards it, and the sun reciprocated only with a touch of its rays; neither burning nor heating, yet always warming.

They directed their gaze towards the object lying in front of them, shattered into pieces with one end intact, but with sharp edges. They felt the object with their hand, but whined when their hands passed through the edges.

They tried to grasp it again.

And again.

Tears pooled in their eyes as they began to whimper. Why couldn’t they hold it? Where was their mama? Why doesn’t she come get them?

They watched as a small amount of liquid drifted towards them, straight from the broken object, in a wavy pattern. 

They moved towards the liquid and tried to snatch the strange-looking liquid with their fingers, only to disappear into the ground, turning the sidewalk before them a darker shade of grey that it was before.

They whined and slapped the pavement with their hand, and then looked back up at the sun, a tear dropping.

But that wasn’t for long.

They gasped as their body jerked suddenly in the opposite direction, as if something or someone grabbed ahold of them and pulled them forward. They pulled back, planting whatever their hands into the pavement, yet their hands and knees slid through the pavement as if through water. They saw the big people continue to pass through them, and none reached towards them.

The force continued to pull, causing their chest to tighten and their breath to catch. They threw their arms about and screamed, yet the unseen force continued to pull.

To their right was a house: light grey in colour, with a green door surrounded by a mixture of light and darkness. On the roof rested large object bearing marking incomprehensible to them. The object didn’t move. It just stood, as if watching,

Only then did the force lessen. Not disappear, lessen.

They screamed once more as tears dripped their cheeks like twin waterfalls. Their vision blurred and swam.

Darkness at first.

Then bright lights. Three of them. Nothing at all like the sun above, but monsters with no bodies, glaring at them as if to swallow them.

They screamed shrilly, falling flat onto the surface as pain—fiery pain—overtook their whole body.

Darkness again.

The pain had disappeared, but they looked around, and the room was dark save for those same lights, glaring down at them and downward, towards a big person lying on a table, with people in white coats and sharp scary-looking toys forming a circle around the table, talking softly at her, speaking words that the baby could not hear..

“Ma…Ma?” they gasped, heart racing.

A soft bell rang throughout, coming from above. Sweet, comforting. They looked back and up to see a bright light: beckoning, pulling, outshining the other lights as if swallowing them. Voices accompanied the light. “Come, child,” the voices spoke as if one.

Their vision blurred once more as they yelped, with everything spinning. Faint banging sounds echoed throughout, then faded.

The vision cleared and they looked back to see a big person moving fast, in the middle of the ground, its visage shrinking and bobbing.

Why, They wondered. Did they hurt me? Why did they hurt me? Why did Mama let them do that? Why did Mama leave me? What happened? How long ago was that?

“Nanak,” called a voice, sweet yet…. Old.

They froze, the word echoed in their head.

Nanak. What did it mean?

“Inday!” called that same voice.

The name struck at her like a sharp object.

Inday.

Was that their name?

“Ma…Ma?” they whispered, as they crawled forward fast.

The force pulled them backward just as they extended their arm forward.

They wailed silently, trembling.

Then they looked up, a smile slowly forming.

In front of them stood two grown-ups, light in colour, but what colour they did not know, and they both had black hair.

“Ma… ma!” They called as they directed their gaze towards a light-coloured big person with big black eyes surrounded by colourful edges. “Ma… ma!”

Another grown-up followed close behind, face neither smiling nor frowning.

“Ma…Ma?” They cried out again, reaching towards the black-eyed grown-up only for their arms to drop suddenly.

They gasped, staring at the first adult. Could this be her… the ‘Mama’? The one those white-coats have been gathering around?

The ‘Mama’ looked up at the sky, smiling while the other adult did the same, only the smile was fainter.

The two grown-ups placed their hands together and raised them to the sky while the unseen baby rose to its knees and extended their arms.

“Ma…Ma!” It screamed, still smiling. “Ma…Ma!”

The grown-ups continued to look up at the sky, hands outstretched.

No, Mama! They screamed inwardly. Not up there! Down here! Pick me up! Hug me! Hold me! PLEASE! Don’t leave me here like you did in that scary place. Those terrible white things…. Those terrible sharp things that hurt me…

They screamed as tears flowed down their cheeks, yet nothing stopped. Why can’t the grown-ups see them? Why won’t they be held?

“Hello, Inday,” exclaimed Mama.

Again, the baby froze.

Inday. The name rang in their ears. Once. Twice. Thrice.

“Rest in peace, Nanak.” Mama said again.

Again, they stiffened.

Nanak. Assailing their ears again and again.

Just like Inday.

Were those their names? Did they have two of them?

 “From me and Christopher,” Mama said.

A joyful coo erupted from within them.

Christopher.

A name—a name such that it yanked them forward again, towards the big person standing behind Mama. Is that…? Could it…?

Again, their vision swam, followed by two soft CLINKS!

Their vision cleared just as suddenly to see the ‘CHristopher’, standing before them, looking up at the sky, hands cupped.

Their chest tightened and their breath stuck.

Is this the ‘Christopher’?

“Come, Hon,” said Mama, grabbing ahold of Christopher’s arm.

“Bye, Inday,” Christopher said in a low voice.

Mama and Christopher walked away them, and ‘Inday’ crawled quickly after them, only for that same force to pull them back once more.

They reached towards them as their forms shrank. “Ma…Ma! Chri…sto….pher!”

Tears flowed anew as Inday watched Christopher and Mama turn and disappear. Why did they leave? Why didn’t Mama and Christopher see them?

They turned around to see two small flashes of light, right beside the plants that grew near that scary-looking house.

Slowly, they crawled. Their vision constantly flickering as the big people continually walked into them.

When they finally got close, their lay on the ground a small object: shiny, round and grey.

It had a picture of a big person’s head surrounded by markings unknown. ‘Inday’ ran their hand through the coin, only for it pass through the metal like thin air.

They glanced back at the sun as it continued to shine, distant yet warm, their lip quivering as it whimpered.

***

How long had they been here? The big people continued to walk by, without so much as a look towards Inday’s spot, and the machines hummed on by, spinning on their wheels without regard to them.

The house stilled loomed above them, as if staring right through the baby.

They directed their tear-filled eyes towards the sun, mouth opening as if to ask, Why is that scary place still here? Why won’t you come take me away? Where are the Mama and the Christopher?

Suddenly, Inday was jerked backward, then spun around.

Inday looked up, eyes widening and smile forming as they crawled forward, only to be jerked backward.

In front of them stood Christopher, but this time, the Christopher looked different. It’s upper body was white with a black circle in the front, consisting of alien words.

Its legs were bare from the knees down—even the feet—save for black clothing that ended just above Christopher’s knees. It carried a large black object in one hand and a small noisy bag in the other. What were those objects?

Around Christopher’s shoulder hung a large, quiet black bag. Inday watched as Christopher patted at the bag and move his head up and down.

“Chri…sto…pher.” Inday squealed, reaching out towards the big person. “Chri…sto…pher!”

Christopher looked upward, and then ahead. Inday watched as Christopher uttered an incomprehensible, silent word and then….

Inday gasped.

“Women’s clinic.” Christopher said in a low voice.

Inday screeched as they fell flat onto the sidewalk. They looked up and followed Christopher’s gaze towards that same house—that same scary-looking house.

“Women’s clinic,” Christopher said again.

Inday dropped flat once more and a loud BOOMING! Sound echoed above. Trembling, they looked up and the sky was blue and the sun was up, as usual.

Still, Inday shook and wailed as tears ran down their face like a river as they stared at the house. The Women’s Clinic. Was that where—?

Inday’s thought shattered as the force pulled them forward, forcing them on all fours just to match Christopher’s speed as it sped towards the house, with clapping sounds echoing with each step taken.

Christopher stopped, and so did Inday. They watched as Christopher reached into a hole inside Christopher’s leg and pulled out a small white machine, only it had no wheels. It wasn’t big but it was a shape Inday had not seen before. What was it?

Christopher tapped at the machine and then walked forward, with Inday crawling close behind. They reached out towards Christopher’s foot, but it passed right through. Christopher. They said inside their own heart. That house is terrible. Don’t go inside. Please! Take me with you! Take me to Mama! Please!

Christopher continued walking and then stopped suddenly. He dropped down to the ground, on his knees, close to the floor of the house. Before Christopher was a floor, much different than the sidewalk. Two long sticks held the floor up, holding it next to the door and creating a large hole.

Inday froze and whimpered. Christopher, they screamed in their mind. Don’t go near that house. Bad place! Bad!

Inday reached out once again towards Christopher, their hand passing through his ankle each time. Why? Inday wondered as they stared up at the sun. Why can’t Christopher hold me? Where is Mama? Why does Christopher not see? Help me!

The sun continued to shine, heeding not Inday’s pleas.

Inday’s heart skipped and their skin prickled at Christopher’s voice. “Inday,” Christopher said. “My sister…”

Inday let out a strangled scream. Sister? The Christopher is their sibling? Was Inday a boy or a girl? How would they know?

Inday stared as Christopher held the big black object and the small noisy bag in his hands and raised them to the sky. He then froze, still on his knees.

Inday reached towards Christopher once more. Only this time, it was towards Christopher’s black cloth. Inday’s fingers closed around it, yet they passed right through, just like with Christopher’s feet.

Inday shouted and tears fell anew. No. I don’t want those things. I want Mama. I want you. I want home.

A faint noise came from Christopher, causing Inday to crawl closer.

Slowly.

The noise came again. Cracked. Continuous. What was Christopher doing?

Inday watched as Christopher placed the objects inside the hole and then slowly backed away, on his knees. He then brought hands to his face and made that same noise again.

Inday extended their arm skyward as Christopher picked up his white machine and tapped at it. It then set the machine down, placing gently on the ground.

Inday looked down at it, and then their heart raced.

A big person—maybe, because it wasn’t like all the others they have seen so far—looked back at them from inside the machine. The adult looked peach in colour and the upper part of its body was green and black while the lower part was black. Its feet were not covered at all, and the adult had long black hair that ran in waves. Inday stiffened. Is this what they—Inday—looked like? Or rather, WOULD have looked like?

Inday crawled towards the hole, cautiously and lifted their arm up, staring at the black object and the small, brown thing next to it. The black thing had a blue circle wrapped around its middle, which matched its top. Inside, a tiny bit of bubbles lived on top of the liquid as it shook. What was that? Inday wondered.

“Hey!” cried a voice, rough and loud. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”

Inday’s chest tightened as they jumped. She whimpered, moaned, then fell silent. The infant looked back to their sibling, Christopher, gazing directed upward but eyes bulging and mouth hanging open.

“You can’t be doing that crap!” shouted that male voice. 

 “But-but, my sister,” Christopher said, sniffing once more.

“I don’t care!” Shouted that same voice. “Get out of here and don’t come back!”

Inday watched as Christopher looked down at the ground with wet, reddened eyes. It picked up its machine and jumped to its feet.

Inday screamed, weeping as they watched Christopher turn and speed away. Where are you going, my sibling? Don’t leave me. Take me!

Inday crawled forward, but then…

“Come, little one!”

It was a voice. Hard yet comforting. Commanding yet inviting. Stern yet kind.

“Come, Inday.” Went that same voice again.

They looked towards to wear the machines were moving to see a big person standing there, clad in a long white cloth that obscured its feet. A large ball of light settled on the spot its face would be.

“Come,” said the white-clad adult, arms outstretched towards them.

Inday smiled and crawled rapidly towards the bright grown-up, passing through the other big people, not stopping even as their vision blurred.

Inday gurgled and cooed as the grown-up scooped them up and held them close to the adult’s breast.

“That man, Christopher,” it told the infant. “Is your brother. He thinks of you often.”

Inday looked to their right to see Christopher in the distance, fading.

“Yes, Christopher would have loved you, though he loves his private world more. And he will see you in heaven.” The tall one said. “IF he repents of worldliness, idolatry, and lust.”

Inday moaned and squirmed, but the grown-up held on. Not tight, but secure. “Fear not, Inday. Whosoever believes in Christ crucified for man’s transgressions and obeys his teaching as set out in his sacred scriptures, turning neither to the right nor to the left, and endures to the end; the same shall enter into the Lord’s kingdom.”

Inday giggled and clapped.

“Same goes for your mommy,” the grown-up continued.

Inday’s body stilled.

“She will see you again in the Lord’s kingdom,” the tall person continued. “If she repents for depriving you of the gift life before you could partake in it, believes on him who died on the cross, and endures to the end in holiness and obedience.”

Inday looked up to see the adult gazing down on them, its presence soothing. “Only the Lord knows your true name and your true gender.” It said, its voice hard, yet hopeful. “Not only can your brother and mother see you again, but also your father as well as your brother’s father, too.”

Silence.

“If they repent and endure in holiness and obedience,” added the adult.

Inday reached out towards the right, but Christopher had disappeared. “No, Little One,” the grown-up intoned. “You cannot influence your brother’s repentance. Only those living can do that.”

Silence.

“But fear not. We shall go to where there is no crying or pain anymore and there you can watch over your mother, brother, and father, though you cannot communicate with them.”

Inday giggled as the adult walked towards the machines, their visage obscured by both clouds and light.