The Friend Zone

'Up for a midnight snack?’

Ellen stirred in the passenger seat, her eyelids too heavy to open.

‘Dan? Wha? I thought you were carrying on until home.’

The indicator was already clicking.

‘I just thought we could have a little fun, and what’s more fun than a midnight feast?’

Ellen finally forced her eyes open and peeped over the top of her scratchy picnic blanket. Lurid pink and blue fluorescents refracted through the dark window. A roadside diner. Not her idea of fun. Fun would be putting this weekend behind her. Fun would be being cuddled up against Stephen with the gentle sound of Jack’s breathing playing through the baby monitor. She never should have agreed to this trip.

‘It’ll be good for you,’ Stephen had said. ‘Every new mother feels anxious being away from their baby for the first time. This is a chance to rip off the band aid.’

‘But two nights away with Dan? That doesn’t bother you?’

‘You told me he was a close friend when we got together. I’m not the kind of guy who tries to pick your friends. Anyway, you’re just going to a convention to see some new video games. Nothing’s going to happen, right?’

‘No, of course not – he’s like a brother. It’s just when I agreed we should catch-up, well, I wasn’t thinking a weekend away.’

The neon of the diner slipped beyond the window and gave way to a harsher yellow light. She shielded her eyes as they adjusted. A bright y-shaped EV charging port loomed over the car. Ellen wasn’t used to seeing them lit up. She liked to be home before dark and did most of her charging at home.

‘I can pay for an extra charge,’ said Dan as he pulled up the handbrake. ‘Call it even for you doing all that driving.’

Ellen tried not to roll her eyes. She had driven them all the way down to London and most of the way back. Dan had told her they would split both the costs and the time behind the wheel, but she had paid for everything so far, including his road snacks. She had needed to repeatedly prod him just to take over for the last few miles.

‘Why are we stopping here? Places like this are always grim. I bet they don’t even have anything I can eat on the menu.’

Dan waved his hand and opened the door.

‘Oh, I’m sure they’ll have a salad.’

Ellen pulled the blanket over her tense jawline. It had been tight for the entire trip.

There had been a time she could remember enjoying Dan’s company, back when they worked that crummy job at the second-hand game shop. But that was a long time ago. As Ellen’s life moved on, as things had developed with Stephen, she couldn’t help but see Dan differently. He became less and less her friend, and more an old cellmate from a life she wanted to escape. She wished he hadn’t bought her a top of the line gaming PC as a wedding present. She felt like she owed him.

‘It’s one of those that needs an account.' Dan said as he reapproached her window. 'You’ll have to get it’

This time she did roll her eyes as she tossed the blanket aside, shivering as she stepped out from the car.

‘How are you cold? You’re wearing so many layers your tits must be at least medium rare by now.’

His sense of humour hadn’t changed. Ellen wished she still found it funny.

***

There was no hiss of frying food as they entered the diner. No conversation, nor music. Just the isolated squeak of the door’s rubber hinge. A sign in front of them read, “Wait here to be seated”.

‘Is this place even open?’

‘Of course it is,’ replied Dan. ‘Places like this never close.’

‘I don’t see anyone. Maybe they forgot to lock up.’

‘The lights were on.’

‘Maybe they forgot those too.’

‘Hellooooo! Anyone there?’ called Dan.

No answer. Scenarios began to play in Ellen’s head. Perhaps something had caused everyone to flee. A gas leak maybe, or something more immediate. What if someone had come in with a gun? What if the chef was lying dead in the kitchen?

Dan advanced into the diner.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Looking around. It’s weird, right?’

‘We should go?’

‘Why? Haven’t you always wanted to poke around behind the scenes?’

‘Of a run-down diner? No, not really.’

‘Where’s your sense of adventure?’

He pushed open the kitchen door. Ellen braced, ready to dash back to the car if anyone jumped out at Dan.

‘Weird,’ he said.

‘What’s weird?’

‘Come see for yourself.’

The door swung shut behind him.

Ellen hesitated, scanning around for anyone who might be hiding under one of the booths or skulking in the dark outside.

‘Oh, you have to see this.’

Ellen dragged her feet to follow Dan.

The kitchen looked to have been abandoned mid-shift. Frying pans were set haphazardly on the hob, washing rags lay crumpled by the sink, and a bottle of cooking oil lay in a puddle on the tiled floor. Dan was standing by an open refrigerator holding a packet of bacon.

‘Looks like people left in a hurry.’

‘Oh no, it’s way weirder,’ said Dan. ‘Check this out.’

He tossed over a packet of bacon. Surprised, she almost slipped in the puddle of oil as she caught it. She turned the packaging over in her hands, looking for something unusual.

‘I don’t get it. It’s just bacon.’

‘No, look.’ He tossed her another packet. This one bounced off her hand, the plastic rim sharp against her skin.

‘Hey! Stop throwing bacon at me.’

‘No, the fridge, look at the fridge.’

He threw another packet at her. This one hit her chest, but she didn’t feel it. She had finally seen what Dan was so excited about. The bacon he was picking up did not diminish the bacon on the shelf. He could remove a packet, but the same packet would still be neatly stacked in the fridge. It was as though there was an infinite supply of bacon.

‘How are you doing that?’

‘I’m not doing anything, it’s the fridge.’

She watched him do it again and again.

Ellen set down the packet of bacon she was holding.

‘I want to go.’

‘Ellen, come on, we can’t leave now. This is crazy.’

‘Now, Dan.’

She turned and pushed through the kitchen door. Dan called out behind her, but she kept walking, heaving the rubber-hinged door open and stepping into the night. Eventually he came after her, still carrying a packet of bacon. She knocked it angrily from his hands as they reached the car.

‘Just drive,’ she snapped.

Dan uncoupled the charger, a look of bewilderment on his face. She envied him. Perhaps he didn’t have as active an imagination as she did. Perhaps he wasn’t running through mad and frightening explanations. That they had somehow died on the road. That Dan had crashed without realising it, and that they were now ghosts haunting a cursed diner.

Nothing else made sense.

Dan put the car into gear, and Ellen held a breath as they hit the road. She wished there were other cars around.

‘See, nothing to worry about,’ he said after a few seconds. ‘Are you sure we can’t go back? You could wait in the car while I go in.’

‘Just keep driving.’

She kept her eyes on the passing streetlights, trying to draw comfort from their white glow. Her chest relaxed with each one they passed. She glanced in the rearview. The lights of the diner and EV charger were fading into the blackness.

‘What the hell?’

Ellen’s eyes snapped forward. She already knew what she would see before her eyes landed on it. A neon sign of pink and blue hovering in the distance.

***

They drove for hours. Ellen drove several more alone. It didn’t matter what she did. The road always came back to the diner. They tried calling for help but their phones had no signal and eventually died.

Ellen tried walking. She walked until blisters covered her feet. It didn’t make any difference. As soon as she lost the neon sign in the darkness behind her, it would reappear tauntingly in front of her.

***

‘What are you doing?’ she asked as she limped into the diner. The smell of frying bacon drifted up her nose.

‘Well, we have to eat,’ replied Dan through the open kitchen door.

She was too weary to argue about cooking the haunted bacon, though it was two weeks before she abandoned the vegetarianism she had begun with Stephen. At least she thought it was two weeks. The sun never rose anymore.

***

Ellen sobbed into the sleeve of Dan’s t-shirt.

‘It’ll be okay,’ he said, his voice failing to find any conviction.

‘I’m sure Jack and Stephen are okay. I bet no time at all will have passed when we get out of this. You won’t have missed anything.’

Ellen couldn’t stop crying.

‘We’re dead,’ she choked through her tears. ‘We have to be. We’re dead.’

‘We’re not though. I don’t feel dead. We’re just a bit stuck. We’ll find our way back eventually.’

‘We’re dead and now we’re just ghosts forever.’

He stroked her hair as snot and tears dripped onto his shoulder.

***

Dan clicked his fingers and Ellen moved to the beat. Hound Dog had become their favourite on the jukebox.

It had taken Ellen a long time to join Dan on the dancefloor, but it was now the only thing that could distract her after trying and failing to find a way to escape. She would make her knees and elbows raw as she crawled around the ventilation system, or skin her knuckles dismantling the EV charger. She never found any answers, and dancing helped her to forget it.

Her hands pushed into her hair during the final drumroll of the song. She opened her eyes to find she had drifted close to Dan. The jukebox clicked to the next song. Stand By Me.

She found herself facing him. Their bodies drew closer with every step. Then Dan’s arms were suddenly around her. Her hands were pressed against his chest. He reached gently to tilt her chin up to his face.

Their lips were only together for a second before she broke the embrace and ran out of the diner.

***

Ellen sat alone at the counter. Another refrigerator in the kitchen had an endless supply of beer. She had drunk three since she had woken up an hour ago. Dan was still snoozing in the car.

She was debating whether to get another beer or to try chasing sleep again, when a fresh bottle was suddenly placed in front of her.

Ellen fell from her stool in surprise. A woman was standing behind the counter. She wore a waitress’s dress of pink checks beneath a blood red apron. A smile of crimson lipstick was framed by curled blonde hair.

‘Let’s not waste time being surprised, hun.’ The waitress looked down as Ellen crawled back in shock.

‘I ain’t gonna hurt ya. I’m here to help.’

‘Help?’

The woman's smile seemed to grow wider at the tremble in Ellen’s voice.

‘Here’s the deal darlin’. You get to ask me one question, and I will answer it clear as a bell. That's all. No catch. Sound fair to you?’

Ellen was still reeling from the shock of the woman's appearance. She was about to ask the waitress who she was, but the woman suddenly leant over the counter and held out the beer she had set down earlier.

‘Remember, you only get one question.’

Ellen took the beer mechanically. It was as though the waitress was in her head.

She rose to her feet, the waitress watching her closely. Her lips were constantly smiling, but her eyes were cold.

‘How do I get home?’ Ellen asked slowly.

The waitress clapped her hands together.

‘Ooh, good question, hun. That’s the one we hoped you’d go for. It’s actually really simple. You and that man you’re with can drive right out of here whenever you want. But that’s the catch. You have to both want to leave.’

‘What? But of course I want to leave.’

‘Oh, I know you do, hun. You want to be with that fine man you have at home and your dear little boy, and who could begrudge you? But him, Dan the man, he just don’t want it like you do.’

The waitress leaned across the counter.

‘He’s got a thing for you, girl. And he’s got it bad. Always has. Probably always will. And now he’s got you right where he wants you.’

‘Dan? He’s a friend. He’s always been just a friend.’

The waitress’s smile grew even wider.

‘Well, that might not be quite how he sees it, darlin’. But hey, maybe you should just go ahead and ask him yourself.’

Ellen jumped at the squeak of the rubber hinge. Dan entered the diner; his eyes closed in the midst of a yawn. When Ellen turned back to the counter, the waitress was gone.

***

‘We’ve done this a thousand times,’ said Dan from the passenger seat.

‘I know, but we have to keep trying, don’t we?’

‘But it doesn’t work.’

‘Just really focus on how much you want to go home. Just really think about that. How much you want us both to be home. You want that, right?’

‘Yeah, of course, but I don’t think it matters what we’re thinking about.’

Ellen tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

‘Just try it. Try it for me. I need you to really focus on how much you want us to get home. Okay?’

‘Okay. Sure. Focusing.’

Ellen released the handbrake and pushed down hard on the accelerator.

‘Keep thinking.’ she said, as she changed gear. ‘Keep thinking about home.’

The diner disappeared behind them, then reappeared in the distance ahead of them.

***

‘You don’t want to go!’ Ellen’s scream echoed off the kitchen countertops.

‘What do you mean? Of course I want to go. This isn’t my fault.’

‘You want to stay here. You want to live here with me!’

‘That’s crazy.’

She paced around, tears stinging her eyes. She pressed her head against the fridge door.

‘You love me, don’t you?’

‘Of course I love you, as a friend.’

‘Don’t lie.'

‘I’m not lying.’

She turned to look him in the face.

‘It’s just us here, Dan. Don’t lie.’

His hands flew up in frustration. One came back down to his side but the other lingered behind his head. His expression softened. He looked away. His fingers scrunched the hair at the back of his scalp.

‘I thought you knew,' he said quietly.

Ellen howled. She banged her fist against the fridge.

‘You’re the reason we can’t leave. You want me to stay here. You want this to be our home.’

‘Is it so terrible? No rent, no jobs, limitless food.’

Ellen searched around the countertops. If her eyes had found a kitchen knife she would have seized it.

‘I want to see my husband,’ she said, her body shaking with anger. ‘I want to see my son. I don’t give a damn about limitless fucking bacon.’

She wrenched open the fridge and began pawing at the bacon packets. They spilled out onto the floor, stacking around her ankles.

‘I never want fucking bacon again.’

The packets continued to spill. They had spread out across half the floor by the time Dan grabbed her.

‘Stop it, Ellen.’

She kept struggling, kept reaching for more bacon. His grip was bruising her arms.

‘Stop it!’

It was useless against Dan’s weight. She went slack. Sobbing. Defeated.

‘Let go of me,' she said in a small voice.

Dan’s grip remained tight.

‘Let go of me,’ she said more firmly.

She looked up at him. There was hardness to his eyes she had never seen before. A deadness.

‘Dan… let go.’

He didn’t look at her. He just shifted his weight and pushed her down against the tiles.

***

‘You know what you gotta do, don’t you, hun?’

The waitress was standing by the sink, washing the dishes. Ellen still lay on the tiles where Dan had left her. Her leggings lay crumpled by her side.

‘There’s only one way out for the both of you, but for just one of you… well, then you’ve got possibilities.’

She brought her hands out of the bowl clutching a large butcher knife. She began drying the blade with a rag.

‘This place only needs the one of you, hun. It can be you. Or it can be him.’

She set the knife down on the counter.

'It's your choice.'

***

The car door slammed shut. Ellen knew she had left a smear of blood on the handle. She didn’t care.

Her tyres squealed as she sped out of the car park. Her foot was pressed flat to the floor. The road ahead blurred in the glow of her headlights, but she kept her eyes on the rearview, watching the diner’s lights fade away behind her.

She flicked her eyes forward.

Too late.

Her head hit the steering wheel at the same moment her lights hit the back of the lorry. She was already unconscious when the underride bar failed, and her bonnet slipped beneath the trailer. She didn’t hear the crunch of steel and glass as it came through the windscreen. She was never aware of the fuel tank igniting.

There was so much flame, and so much of Ellen’s blood, that they never found any trace of Dan.

The truth of what happened stayed between friends.