I hope this makes you cry

               My mom is officially one of the strongest people I know and her name is Lameaun King and I’m gonna tell you why. My mom became physically disabled in her late teenage years when she started losing her mobility and wea kness. Going from being physically able bodied and able to take care of yourself in a home where you basically fending for yourself because you’re floating through life on your own. It’s kind of like floating through life like without having gravity and stability in your life like every child deserves! My grandma did introduced my mom to God and we’re both extremely thankful for that because God kept her anchored. She loved her mom and her mom loved her so much and she was there for her as much as she was able. Sometimes, a parent’s best is not enough and that’s just what it is but that doesn’t mean that the love wasn’t there.

               Can you imagine being a late teenager whose life is physically falling apart and losing all sense of normalcy and how much that would change and affect your sense of identity? Can you imagine what it would feel like to have your world turned upside down and living a life of being in the hospital long-term? This is because you’re getting routine medical treatment causing periods of hospital stays without an essential and constant support system! You’re there in the hospital alone fighting for a life that feels like a new normal because it feels like everything you knew was spiraling out of control. The only thing that kept her somewhat strong and able to keep going without crumbling apart and becoming the little girl that she never had the stability and safety that would’ve lead her to have a chance to be was God. God was there when she was misdiagnosed and getting treatments that made her weak and tired when she had limited family support. Imagine if you were going through one of the worst and hardest times of your life and your family start taking advantage of you knowing that you can’t fight back!

Nobody else was in the room with them but God was there and saw it all and He put the strength and fight in her that it took to keep going. Most women would have probably ended up taking their own life right after rightfully so especially not being able to regurgitate what just happened to her in the darkness in the light to anyone not even the police. This didn’t stop her because God didn’t let it stop her because He had a plan for her and she believed what the Bible says that vengeance is His. It wasn’t her job to chase revenge and justice and she eventually got the right diagnosis and was able to be treated better with better therapy and treatments. As she grew up, she met a man who was a bad boy that she ended up having her first baby with. God blessed them on July 19th with a beautiful baby girl who eventually started having some of the worst medical symptoms like projectile vomiting, loss of mobility, weakness, lack of ability to breathe, and unreached milestones.

Eventually, they became parents of a medically complex child who now needed a gastronomy tube, tracheostomy, tracheotomy, ventilator, and suction machine. The g-tube is a tube in your stomach that helps you receive formula and medicine, a trach tube in you’re a man-made hole in your trach to help you breathe, and a ventilator is a machine to help my lungs breathe. A suction machine helps with airway clearance because I can’t cough on my own.  This was their new reality at the young age of 21 instead of grabbing a diaper bag but a medical care bag for outings. and the hospital was now their second home as a family too. I couldn’t leave the hospital without having two able bodied caregivers, so imagine being a mom who loves her baby more than anything. However, love doesn’t make your stupid body work or strength come to help you be able to take care of and save your baby from the harm of their own body. My grandma offered to help be a caregiver to get me home and the relationship became toxic so we often ended up back in the hospital because my dad wasn’t in a safe state to care for me. Multiple times of this and my mom made the hardest decision that any mom could make to put me in foster care so that I could at least be safely taken care of. She made the choice that would make any mom start bawling and shattering at the immediate thought but I went into foster care, and the first family was decent and included my mom and my parents broke up. My parents never lost their rights, and the second family was awful and keeping her distant making it hard for her to be in my life. I suffered 11 long years but imagine fighting, bawling, crying, and begging for your family and others to take you to see your daughter or help you get her back. They have the audacity to tell you no even after everything you’ve done for them so every day that you’re not with her and she believes that you feel like you don’t need her, your heart almost stops beating.

You try to do absolutely everything you can to make sure that she was safe while trying everything you could from a distance hearing the other people who are taking care of your child but don’t love them like you do listening in on conversations with and who you birthed asking if they’re ok. At 17, I was made an offer to go live with my aunt because I just wanted to live with my family again, imagine trying to talk your daughter out of it because you’ve seen her dangerous patterns but she doesn’t listen. She doesn’t listen until she does and you’re fighting for the most important thing to you with the hospital social worker about letting her go because you know this woman more than them, but they don’t listen and let her go into harm’s way. She let her go and you became 10 hours from her now and you maintained a relationship and last year, she got the call that I was critical, and septic and my stepdad drove her without hesitation to me. I coded in the hospital and this wasn’t the first time she saw me almost dead unfortunately, but she automatically started praying. It was a Lazarus moment, and I wouldn’t have been alive if the Holy Spirit hadn’t told her to come back and save me.

I’ve been sick a lot and hospitalized a lot lately and she doesn’t have a car anymore and I’m living in a medical facility in Indiana because my aunt verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused but I stood up for myself. I still live 10 hours away from each other and we’ve been trying to raise money for a car, but no one wants to give. She works hard trying to make money on social media but it’s not consistent but I’m trying to write these contests to get her money for a car because I’m over asking people for money, but they don’t want to give. My biggest fear is something happening to me and they don’t have a way to say goodbye, or they can’t come save me. I don’t want to die alone in the hospital because they can’t get there and that really scares me. Please don’t let that happen to me if you can help us.