Not All Men

TW: Mental Health, Drowning, Domestic Abuse Implied, swearing

At the harbor, cobbled streets and alleys met salt-stained concrete, lining the bay. Offshore, the distant breakwater blocked the largest of the crashing ocean waves, yet the depths of the basin waters still moved balefully. Flashes of lightning lit the sky, illuminating the dark, rolling clouds.

The waves greeted her arrival. Greeted? No… tormented. For all of Lilith’s running, there was nowhere safe. The white crest-falls slammed into the dock, spraying against her face; The seawater made her cheeks burn. Or was that cause she’d been crying? Light sprinkles sharpened by the wind dampened her clothes.

Between the bolts of lightning, all was dark. Shadows were indecipherable, and surroundings became one. The moonlight quickly fading as the storm swept in, Lilith walked along the edge of the harbor, looking for somewhere to sleep — somewhere to hide. An alcove, or an upturned boat… maybe someone’d forgotten to pull their awning in.

Farther down the harbor, the pathway narrowed, but as she was about to turn back, a man stumbled out of a tavern behind her. He stood in the darkness, watching. The sky burst with light, and his eyes glowed a dark red. He smiled and took a step in Lilith’s direction.

Run.

Lilith backpedaled away from him, her hand sprawling toward the wall as her heel caught on the uneven cobbles. Twisting her body, her lungs grew tight. Running down the coastline, thoughts jumbled, Lilith glanced behind, searching.

The man hadn’t followed, but his gaze lingered as another joined him. Lilith slowed, but unnerved, kept moving until she stood, standing at the end of the path, a tall, brick building blocking any further escape.

Looking at the ocean, Lilith stepped forward, placing her hands on the metal bars of the fence. Closing her eyes, Lilith breathed in the salty air. Maybe she could go back… She could look for an alleyway… Could she go home? Maybe he was asleep, but what if he wasn’t? The wind whipped through her hair, but she held firm. Despite the darkness and the violence of the ocean before her, the warm, refreshing air put her mind at ease. As she slowly opened her eyes, a rogue wave crested the railing, and her eyes burst open. It pummeled her chest, nearly knocking her over. Arms shaking, the wind howled, and waves splashed up around her feet.

Lilith backed away, trembling, toward the buildings behind, and when she felt the rough stone work, she fell to the ground, exhausted. Her hands fell to her sides, and she felt her senses — her awareness — dull as her body tingled and throbbed.

She was so f-ing tired.

As the night went on, the storm intensified. Thunder deafened, and even the breakwaters couldn’t contain the fury of the ocean. The salty water that sprayed her face with each torrent slowly rose, growing… unpredictable. When Lilith finally looked up from where she sat, she realized the path back had been cut off. It was only a few inches of water, but the water rippled and swirled perilously.

She stood up, gripping the rough, brick wall, and a gust of wind barreled into her chest, throwing her against the wall. She slowly edged toward the pool of water before dipping the toe of her shoe. Despite the warm, humid air, the water was cold. Clinging to the rough wall beside her, she tentatively stepped into the water. The current licked and pulled at her feet, and her body stiffened. The storm surge covered at least two house-lengths of the path, but if she stayed where she was, the waters would undoubtedly swallow the rest of the dock, including where she’d once sat. With each step, the undercurrent rippled around her, pulling at her feet while gust after gust barreled into her. Nearly halfway across, the water had reached her knees. Every step was a battle, yet she remained calm. Terrified, yes, however, she refused to give up.

Despite the tales, there was no “siren’s song.” There was only the storm. Maybe that was because she wasn’t at sea like the many sailors who docked their boats in the harbor port of Cyris. Still, there was something captivating about it all. Daunting and merciless, yet sincere and honest; there was no lie. The storm lived, and it died, but it did not choose to exist; it simply was. Ironically, it was her own fault she’d been trapped by the storm. Raindrops beat down on her clothes while the wind rippled viciously in the thin fabric.

Down the way, someone called out. A man’s voice. Lilith jerked her head up from the water’s surface. It was the same man as before – the one with the glaring, red eyes. She froze, but a burst of wind caught her off guard like a statue that hadn’t yet been cemented properly. Her foot slipped, and she fell down… down… Shit! She scrambled on the cobbles, searching for purchase, but the more she tried, the deeper her anxiety grew. A buzzing filled her head. All she needed was something to grab… The man waded through the water toward her, reaching out a hand. She fell back, careening away from him. One hand hit the cobbles, but the other… The world tilted and the violent waters engulfed her.

Water entered her lungs, and the saltwater stung her eyes. A horrible sensation consumed her as the current pushed her to and fro. In this darkness, she flailed, but there was nothing to grab a hold of. A sense of panic boiled up from within her, and she knew. There was nowhere safe.

Then, as she was about to give up, large, sturdy arms wrapped around her torso. They began kicking, pulling her against the tide. When her head broke above the waves, she gasped and a racking cough escaped her.

She peeled her eyes open to see the dark clouds lit by lightning and the deafening sound of thunder. Instinctively, she moved to cover her ears and her legs curled up before her, but the water pulled unnaturally at her feet. Behind her, a gruff voice brought her thoughts to a halt. She whipped her head around to see the man with the red eyes except, they were dark. Short dark hair plastered his face and a rough jawline reminded her of… him. She twisted and kicked, but he held firm. He flinched from an elbow to the ribs and he swore a slew of atrocities, but he refused to let go. She wished he would. She’d rather be dragged out to sea than be anywhere near him. With each of her attempts, he swore and his body tensed, but he never let go, always swimming toward… the rescue ladder. A small group waited above.

Only when her limbs grew heavy and sluggish did she give up on escape. When they reached the ladder, Lilith grabbed on and she kicked and pulled, even as the waves licked at her body. Her foot slipped, and she thought she’d plunge back into the dark depths, but a woman grabbed her wrist. A man next to her grabbed the back of her shirt and hauled her up, and the woman — short and round with long, dark hair — wrapped her in a cloak. Behind her, she heard her rescuer being welcomed and clapped on the back. Laughing and brusque sailors swearing, their giddy glee undeniable.

The shadows blurred, and she squinted. It was so loud… And so dark, yet at the same time, it was all too bright. What an odd sensation. It was all too much, yet not enough. Her head whirled.

“Crazy bitch!” The man behind her roared. The group fell silent. “Shoulda’ jus’ left ya ta die!”

“Now, Erold,” The woman started.

“No! I’mma have bruises for the next month from tha’ bitch!” He huffed. “I’m goin’nsai.”

The dark-haired woman watched the man from over her shoulder with sharp eyes. Then, she looked back at Lilith. “You alrigh’, dearie? Tha’ must’ve been quite’a frigh’.”

Lilith watched the man stalk into the tavern, still muttering obscenities under his breath. It was the same tavern he’d exited when she’d first arrived.

The woman lifted a hand to Lilith’s head, but she flinched and sharply pushed it away.

“It’s all righ’ dearie. I’m just checkin’ for fever.” She cleared her throat. “Lo’mann, ready a room and grab her a warm blanke’.” Quieter, the woman leaned in and whispered, “But first, let’s ge’ ya into some drier clothes.”

“No.”

The woman paused. “Hun?” Her eyebrows furrowed, and her smile faltered.

“Le’ the girl go, Marcie,” a deep voice bellowed.

“Hun?” she asked again. “Wha’s wrong?” She brought her hand up to Lilith’s forehead, sweeping some hair away from her face.

“Stay away!” Lilith screamed. Her fists trembled in her lap. “Get AWAY from me!”

“Marcie…”

Rather than listening and despite Lilith’s thrashing, Marcie scooped her up and began walking toward the tavern.

Scared, Lilith beat her shoulders, but she felt so tired and… warm. Too warm, yet chills ran through her aching body. And the lightning… was blinding. And the rain… And the waves… She shivered, fighting… fighting what? She covered her ears — to no avail — and cried. Eyes glued shut, her shoulders curled in and her body trembled, though from fright or from the chills, she didn’t rightly know.

Throughout the night, Lilith learned that Marcie was a kind and friendly woman. After taking her back to a washroom, she’d firmly pried off the cold clothing and helped her into a warm bath. After, Marcie brought her out to a quiet corner of the tavern. She offered Lilith a warm, thick, milky-colored soup. Slowly coming back to her senses, Lilith had tried to turn it away, explaining she had no money, but Marcie had waved her off and insisted. Hesitantly, Lilith took her first bite, and the taste made her mouth water. Again, she wept, this time quietly. She had nothing to offer this kind woman, but she would thank her.

After the meal, she sat a while at the table, taking in her surroundings and thinking. It’d been a long night, and more eventful than she’d ever wished. Running from her father’s rage, and then the storm…

The man who had saved her from the waves sat but a few tables away. He was loud and boisterous, and he smiled brightly, though his expression soured when he looked toward the small table in the corner where Lilith Sat. He had a rough jawline similar to her father’s, but… he seemed different. Though drunk, he didn’t seem violent. Still, that didn’t make her any less wary. Others sat at his table as well, of course. Some gambled while others drank, and while the man had a drink in hand, he didn’t take a sip. Nearly topped off, the foam on top slowly settled. When he finally took a sip, it was barely noticeable.

The wooden tables they sat at were round and plain, and the square oil lanterns in the center of each flickered. When Marcie came back over, wiping her hands on her apron, she glanced between Lilith and the man. “That’s the one that saved ya, ya know.” She said.

Lilith looked away.

“Now, child,” she started, “It wouldn’t hurt to give ‘im a thank you.”

“And why should I?” Lilith retorted.

Marcie cocked her head, placing her hands on her hips. “Now, I wonder why…”

Lilith sat quiet a moment. “He won’t get mad at me?” she whispered.

Marcie paused. Then, she laughed, drawing the attention of those around her. More quietly, she said, “I cain’ promise he won’ ge’ mad. Ya did give ‘im a few good welts, ya know.”

“I know,” Lilith whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Marcie nodded. “Then how abouts we ‘ead on over ‘ere and tell ‘im that. I’ll be righ’ ‘ere next to ya if ya need my help.” She took a breath. “But ya know, he had no reason to do that. He jumped in as soon as he saw ya go under, but… ya both coulda died…” She paused, her eyebrows furrowed, but not mad. “What were ya doing on that side’a da harbor like that?”

“I just…” Lilith rubbed her arm, looking away. “I just wanted to find somewhere quiet. Somewhere safe. And the rain was so nice… And I don’t have any money, so… "

Marcie grabbed her shoulders firmly. “It wasn’t safe,” she chided firmly. “That side’a da harbor floods, and the current will pull ya out ta sea — those breakwaters be dammed — if ya don’t keep your head. You almost drowned… The only reason you didn’ is ‘cause that man saved yer life. Now,” Marcie paused. Her hands were already dry, yet she wiped her hands on her apron once again. “What’re you gonna tell ‘im?”

Lilith looked up at her. She was right. Even if he somewhat reminded her of her father… “Thank you…”

“And…?” Marcie prompted.

“I’m sorry.”

“Right. Now, get yer butt up, and let’s go do that.”

“Hai, hai,” Lilith responded with a lilt, getting up.

Marcie raised her eyebrow, but didn’t say anything to Lilith’s response.

The man turned slightly in his chair as they approached, sitting a bit straighter. “Little lady,” he nodded to her, “Marcie,” he dipped his head a bit lower. “Always glad ya let me in.”

Marcie gently placed her hand on Lilith’s shoulder, and Lilith looked up. Marcie raised her eyebrow. Lilith turned to the man. “Thank-” she cleared her throat, “Thank you. For saving me. And… I’m sorry I hurt you,” she finished.

“Ah!” The man’s eyes widened, and he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “Yes, well, I’m glad yer safe, I guess.” He glanced at Marcie and flinched.

When Lilith looked up, she was smiling.

“Uh, my name’s Erold. And you are…”

She straightened her shoulders. “Lilith.”

“Well, Miss Lilith, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’tve swore at ya like tha’.” He flinched. “Or yelled at ya! I’m terribly sorry, ma dear. Are ya alrigh’? Marcie take good care a’ ya I’m sure?”

She blinked. “Yes, I’m alright.” She looked at Marcie.

In turn, Marcie smiled. “Shall we find ya a bed to sleep in for tonigh’?” she asked.

“Oh, but…”

Marcie raised her eyebrow in a way that certainly left no room for argument

“Uh, yes, that sounds good.”

“Well, alrighty then! Have a good nigh,’ Erold dear.”

As they walked away, Lilith heard snickering. When she looked back, they burst out laughing, patting Erold on the back so hard he spilled half his drink. As much as she hated her father and his drunken violence, some men… They might not all be so bad. Like Erold. He didn’t even know her, but… he’d saved her. For no reason at all. He’d seemed super angry, and kowai, but maybe… he wasn’t all bad. He was weird, though.

Marcie led Lilith up a dim, wooden stairway. When she stopped in front of a rough, wooden door, she half-turned the doorknob before she paused. “He’d had a daughter…”

Lilith watched her, listening. She looked… sad.

“She’d been only eight. While he was sailing, a trip to Lumar that’d promised good pay, she’d been swept off her feet. Just like you ‘ad. It was only supposed to’ve been a short trip. There and back, maybe three or four months. He and his wife was to’ve settled down ‘ere, but…” Marcie wiped a tear as she looked down at Lilith. “I think, when he’d seen you…” Marcie trailed off. She ran a hand over lilith’s head and leaned forward, touching her forehead to Lilith’s. “Listen, hun. We’re all glad you’re safe, but… never do tha’ again. You shouldn’ ever be tha’ close to the water during a storm. Ya ‘ear me?”

“I’m sorry-”

Marcie laughed awkwardly, wiping her tears. “None o tha’ now. I think it’s time we get you into bed before ya go an’ wake up sick.” Quietly, they entered the small, neat room, and Marcie tucked her into a soft bed with clean, white sheets. The two smiled gently as she left, and Lilith drifted off into a long, restless sleep.

Maybe… Just maybe, not all men are so violent… Some were just a little… weird.