What it means

« What does that mean ? »

That what she asked me. I. What could I answer actually ?

I was there, right in front of the girl I just admitted my feelings for. And now what?

Reese was looking at me, as I felt the blush that covered my freckles gets stronger. I couldn’t help but let my stare getting lost anywhere but into hers. As I loved to look at her before, I just couldn’t right now.

“ Moïra ? What does that mean ?” She asked again

I opened my mouth, trying to tell something, but not any word dared to go out my throat. What a fool I was, thinking that a simple “I’m in love with you” would be welcome in our situation. Echo thought it was a good idea to confess in an unexpected moment. She was so f*ckin wrong !

I scratched my leaf green hair as I was searching for an answer which would not put me in an unsolvable situation.

My specific worries were not about Reese actually liking girls or not, but if she could forgive my audacity to have feelings for her as we first were enemies.

Yeah, we were. Before my team and I rescued her sister and her friends from those dinosaurs’ exploiters, we were enemies. Or rivals at least, as we had the same objective to assemble every dinosaur card we could save. The kids did that for the collection, I thought, as we Echo, River and I tried to save them from Dr. Z.

Not an easy project, I must admit it, especially when I had to avoid my sister Ursula’s glare. She must never know that I, her dear little sister, is actually the one who stole her a huge part of what made her job.

Some says “Family First”, huh?

But I say that Ursula stopped being my family when she joined Z. and started to exploit Dinosaurs and their strength to fight like if they were toys.

But Echo, River and I only wanted to go back home, and stop Z. in his barbarism. We never asked for those kids to get between us and our targets.

But they did. And they were actually good, even if they used dinosaurs to fight too..

I must admit that they saved my life at least one time.

But we had to gave it back to them when Gang Alpha (My sister’s team name… I know, bad) kidnapped them to steal their Dino-cards.

Everyone could come back home safely, and that’s the day I met Reese.

First I wasn’t so into her but after hearing her voice… Wow

She was so dreamy, in her angel white blouse, her sienna skirt and her beautiful hazelnut eyes behind those square glasses. I got captivated by her gold locks she neatly braids every morning. And her voice… Gods… Her voice. So sweet and comforting. Whatever she can say, it would sound sweet.

Echo and River being busy with all the stuff to take us back home, I was the one in charge to share everything I allowed myself to share with her, as she’s the scientist of that team.

Cause, yeah, of course, the kids are not alone in this, they’re supported by Reese (who’s the little girl’s older sister) and one of the kids’ dad.

Everything got fine actually. I repressed my crush on her, knowing that we would go soon.

But we didn’t, and as long as we stayed, much my crush on Reese got stronger. And now, I’m calling it love.

Cause I could not explain it another way.

I never felt anything like this for someone. Emotional attraction and physical desire, stronger and stronger every time I saw her and talked with her. And now what ?

Is that so much that the words slipped from my lips ?

I, the unemotional bitch I always was, could not restrain her feelings for a girl?

Yeah

Cause she’s not a girl, she’s THE girl. The girl who stole my f*ckin heart like if I put it out myself and begged her to…

She’s still looking at me with that incomprehension in her eyes. She can understand equations I can’t even read and now she wants me to believe she didn’t understand my words ?

“I… I’m in love with you, Reese” I said, trying to look calm and confident as my own voice was screaming in my head in panic.

I felt my heart go faster again, as she seemed about to answer something. But, like to frustrate me a little more, it was the exact moment the kids chose to come in and disturb us.

I shouldn’t be so upset, we’re actually here to help them.

”A dinosaur got spotted in Norway ! “ Said the blond boy whose name’s Rex

Reese looked at one of the screens that encircled us and nodded.

“Good luck” she said with her casual sweet voice as the kid disappeared in front of us

I sighted, hoping they can go back with that card.

“ You’re not going with them ? “She asked, noticing that I was still here

She’s used to see me running to our vehicle as we spot that lightning dot on the screen and follow the kids. But not this time. Norway is a little to far from there and… I must admit my priorities are not in this country right now. And I trust those kids to get the card back safe. I replaced my goggles on my forehead and smiled.

“No, I answered, I trust them, I know that they can bring it back, and I believe that they’ll not have any problem with it.”

She nodded and sat back on her chair. I was too nervous to do the same, searching something to say.

“Are you coming ? “She asked, we’ve some things to do until they come back.

Is she kidding me? Did she really forgot what I said ? Or is she too embarrassed to talk about it?

I sighted and sat back too, not saying anything. I was actually searching for Dr. Z moving island, hoping we could find it and break in to steal all the Dino-cards they keep.

Nothing.

I was on a good way, actually, right before my words slipped through my lips and all this mess took place in my brain.

I’m not as good as River with computers, or as Echo with mechanics. My only talent is to sneak in and out a place, and run fast enough to fly away. Those two are lucky to found each other. They’re so proud to be married whatever Echo’s family thought about a Muslim “boy” being transgender and marrying someone like River. I knew them already happy together, as a scientist and mechanic couple. I never envied their couple happiness til this day, til I met Reese. I would like to know this too now. Live happy with the one I’m in love with.

We don’t always get what we want, I know that. My whole life is a proof of that. As a child, I dreamt of a good family life with my parents and my sister. But our parents died, like every people do when their time has come, and my dear sister became my deadly enemy. The only family I found was Echo and River. Then we saved Candy, a dinosaur that seems to love Echo as her mother. Then came Leaf and Dipper. We’re a family, where Echo and River are the parents, the little dinosaurs their children, and I’m that aunt everyone forget but is still there. Only Reese made me feel that happiness to feel that you belongs somewhere. I seriously thought about never coming back with Echo and River, and stay here with her. She’s now my home.

The kids came back after a few hours. Hours I spent trying to focus on my task, but failed. They gave me the Dino-card they achieved to catch and it was time for all of us to go, as the day came to an end.

I couldn’t say anything, afraid that those words would change anything between Reese and I.

As I was about to go back to my vehicle, Reese called me. I don’t know why I was certain it was the last time I would hear her sweet voice call my name.

I turned to her and looked her beautiful face, like I was seeing her for the last time.

“About what you told me...” she began

I felt my heart break, knowing perfectly what she will say. “I do not share the same feelings and I don’t wanna see you again” were the words I was not ready to hear from her but I knew I would.

“ I think… I feel the same way” she lightly smiled

I was about to beg her to let me stay with her, to still work with her and forget everything, but her words were totally different from what I expected.

“You...what ?” I stuttered, completely lost

“ I feel the same way” she said, still smiling

This smile that made my heart go faster than I even knew it could. Her sweet glare on me and this damned smile that stole all my words and moves.

I wanted to hold her, to fell her warmth against my body, to feel her lips against mine.

But I simply smiled, feeling my cheeks getting red and hot. Not that weird blush that appears when you don’t know how to react, but the one that warmth both your face and heart. She still smiled to me when her sister called for her.

“So… See you tomorrow” Sweet Reese smiled as she was about to go

“Sure” I smiled back

She turned around and walked away.

I stayed there, as a smiling mess, overwhelmed with a heat and a feeling of happiness going through my entire body. I watched her, as she disappeared in the horizon, like the sun as the night comes.