They're Here to Help

I check the clock again. 2:13 a.m. I’ve been staring at the same dingy scuffed floors, tired pale blue walls, and buzzing white lights since my phone died an hour ago. At this point, it’s almost meditative. Or it would be, if it weren’t burgeoning on unbearable. Pacing doesn’t help and I’m too tired for that anyway. My eyes are starting to feel dry and scratchy, and my head is killing me. Maybe I should go splash some water on my face…or maybe I’ll stay slumped here for a little longer. I look at the clock again. 2:15. Alright, enough. I heave myself up from plastic my body has somehow molded itself to, without care for the inevitable back and neck pain, and peel free with a groan. Trudging toward the nurse, I have to admire her determination to ignore me as long as possible. I don’t blame her, really. What must she have seen and endured to acquire that steady stolid stare? Still, I’ll be a brief interruption with a quiet, “Bathroom?”. She barely pauses her typing to point in the correct direction. “Thanks,” I murmur and continue to shamble along. I feel her gaze now. Is she looking at my butt? Oh. Nah, probably my atrocious posture.

The hallway is definitely betterworse. Better because it’s not the waiting room. Worse because it’s too quiet. There’s nobody shuffling around or tapping fingers or toes. It feels…dim. Like life and vitality have decided to vacate the area. These walls are an absolutely mournful beige and the light flickering at the end makes the hallway seem longer than it is. Dancing shadows lend a captivating, almost otherworldly ambience… Until the electric buzz of fluorescents returns with a vengeance. Nope! Mood killed. Nothing otherworldly here, just recession-core and a need for maintenance. I continue down the hallway, shadows fluttering around me.

Finally! After that eternity, I reach the bathroom and push open the door, the automatic light pic-pic-piinn-ing on as I turn the lock. It’s pretty roomy, but standard fare with a sink and mirror combo and an old stall wall separating the toilet. Huh. Must’ve had more stalls at some point. But that’s irrelevant. What was I doing? Right! Splashing some cold water on my face does actually make me feel a little better. Out of the corner of my eye, water still dripping down my face, I see the blurry reflection of a woman standing behind me. “Toilet’s free,” I say as I dry my face with a paper towel. Her shuffling steps are soft as she moves past me. Wadding up the used paper, I turn the door handle, but it doesn’t budge. Right, because I locked it. Obviously. I reach for the lock and freeze. Wait. I locked it when I entered… No one was inside… This is a single person bathroom. So how did that lady get in? I look over my shoulder. No one’s there. I look at the mirror again. It’s just me. Wide tired eyes and slightly pale face. Right. Time to leave. I flip the lock and exit into the hallway.

As I stride back toward the waiting room, I’m barely resisting the urge to run. The hallway stretches longer now. Am I breathing faster? Did this hallway get longer again? Shadows reach for me, darting closer and closer with every step. Their earlier whimsy has vanished and instead, they radiate malice. Is it because they know my earlier sarcastic thoughts and really don’t appreciate me making light of their… home? Or existence, maybe? Even though I didn’t mean it that way. Chills run down my arms as I leave the hallway and return to the blue walls and bright lights of the waiting room. Wow, just wow. That was excruciating. Let’s never do that again. Who’d have thought I’d be thankful for harsh fluorescents? I am definitely breathing faster. There's my chair! Pretty sure it’s forever molded to my exact slump. Easy does it. Deep breaths. In…and out… Let’s settle in again... How is my chair even more uncomfortable now? Sigh

I check the clock again. 2:17.

I jolt upright. That can’t be right! I think I’m gonna be sick. I march over to the nurse. “Excuse me, is that clock accurate? Could you tell me what time it is?” Her deadpan stare nearly pierces me, but she replies readily enough, “No, that clock’s off. It’s nearly four.”

“Right. Okay, thanks…"

When I continue to linger, her gaze returns to me, “Anything else?”

“Oh, no, not really,” I stammer, but her stare is really starting to feel more like repeated stabbings and breaks me down almost immediately, “Actually, um, is the bathroom haunted?” Somehow, her face becomes even more stoic. She says nothing. For a long minute I stand there, frozen by that expression, as the prolonged silence wraps around my throat. Maybe my survival instincts are finally kicking in because I force a cough and scrape out, “Right, of course not! Silly question. I must be tired. I’ll just…go now…right.” Her gaze scorches my back as I scurry to my chair. Settling in again, my eyes find The Scuff. The one that looks like a dog with a grin. Is it more malicious or dopey? Both? Malidope? Malidopecious? Its name is now Spot the Malidopecious, in honor of the speckled tiles that make up its fur. Does Spot know it’s nearly four? Actually, how is it nearly four? I definitely haven’t been here long enough for that. I would’ve gotten bored and needed a distraction much sooner! Unless…I zoned out. I could’ve zoned out. Okay. Alright. Maybe it’s time for a nap. Just thinking about a nap has my eyes drooping, but then I glimpse someone sitting next to me. Funny, she reminds me of the lady from the bathroom.

I whip around to look beside me. No one is there. Wow. I’m losing it! Doubly so! Because who would choose to sit right next to someone when there are so many open seats? That nap should really happen sooner rather than later, but now I’ve attracted attention from the nurse. Great. Aaaaand now, she’s walking over. Awesome. That stare should be illegal. You know what? Good for her! That’s a life skill. It must be especially useful in this setting. Dealing with unruly patients is no joke. Actually, dealing with the family of patients might be worse. And, oh wow, she’s right in front of me, “Hello, lovely to see you again.” No response. “You know, I really think you could make this a career. A lot of people would pay to have someone deliver that amount of uncomfortable silence to their enemies.” Still nothing except the stare. And now I’m getting uncomfortable. “…Uh, are you okay?”

“Don’t fall asleep.”

“Right. Okay. Thanks?”

“Sure,” and now she’s walking away, and yet somehow, I still feel her stare. Is it just me or was that last expression not quite so deadpan? She actually looked a bit worried. Or maybe unsettled? That’s wild. Why did she even say that to me? You know, now that I’m thinking about it, why shouldn’t I fall asleep? Actually…what am I doing here? And where exactly is here? I feel like I should know those things. That seems necessary. Maybe the nurse will know? Yes, good plan. I look toward the nurse’s desk and she’s not there. Seems irresponsible. What if I had fallen asleep? And, hey, maybe I should ask for some Tylenol. My head feels like it’s ready to burst. Ew. Now I’m grossing myself out. And did that shadow just point at me? No, this is not Peter Pan. Shadows don’t do that. And, oh, look who’s back, “Hi, nurse!”

“I’m not a nurse.”

“Oh… Really? But then, why are you at that desk?” and now the stare is back. That might feel worse than my headache.

“They’re ready for you.”

“Right. Sure. Okay. Wait, actually, no. Not okay. Who’s ready? And what are they ready for?”

“They’ll take care of you. Don’t worry.”

“Except, now I’m very worried. Which, you probably meant to be comforting, so thanks. For that. Uh, good effort, you know? But not actually comforting. So, who’s they? AHH!” Pain stabs through my skull. Like a lightening strike, it’s there and gone in a flash, but I’m left doubled over, panting into my knees and clutching at my hair. “Actually… let’s just… pause on that. Any chance for some Tylenol? My headache is getting really bad now. It’s making me nauseous. Also, maybe dizzy? That might be why I keep thinking I’m seeing shadows and Bathroom Lady. And sparkles. Now, there’re sparkles. That’s new.”

“They’re here to help.”

“Sparkles help people? Weird thought, but I guess I can see that. Bringing joy and all that, right? And now The Stare is back. Awesome. I think the sparkles are growing. Are you seeing this?”

“Just relax.”

“Again, not comforting. You really should work on that, because now I definitely can’t relax. Do you know Bathroom Lady? I think you’d get along. Always doing or saying something ominous, the two of you. I feel like I should sit down. Am I already sitting? Maybe…I should…lay…”

“Deep breath. They’ll be done soon."