Ready, Set, Regret

SENSITIVE CONTENT: Mention of Death, Murder

Evangeline

Evangeline’s cousin, Adeline Mae Saunder, is dead. She died the second she hit the rushing water with her head flailing around, arms facing the sky. The moment she saw it, she was guilty.

Marco

Marco’s sister, Adeline Mae Saunder, is dead. On June 2nd his mother came into his room while he was preparing to send a text to his girlfriend, Juliana. He had thought nothing of his absent sister that afternoon. Ayla and Evangeline were always messing around. They called themselves partners in crime.

Judge Clarrison

The main subject of Judge Clarrison’s case, Adeline Mae Saunder, is dead. As always it is Judge Clarrison’s job to discover why she is dead. We know she fell into a rushing river after standing on a bridge 603 feet above the ground. In this case, almost always if the victim was with a peer it is assumed the peer pushed the victim. Almost always there is too much evidence to claim otherwise. Evangeline has a different story.

Evangeline

Evangeline’s cousin is dead, and it is not her fault. Yes, she saw it happen. No, Ayla did not willingly jump. No, she did not push her. No, no one else was there when it happened.

Marco

Marco’s sister is dead, and unless something supernatural happened the moment she fell, what Evangeline is saying is not true. It’s not possible. She didn’t willingly jump, according to Evangeline. And if she didn’t jump, she was pushed. By who, if no one but his cousin was around? But Marco knows Evangeline Addice is not lying. I can always tell. She is only avoiding the truth.

Marco

Court starts more suddenly than his sister’s death. It is only two days after the event and Marco is not ready. He is still fighting back tears and punching walls and wondering why anyone would kill sweet Adeline Mae. But he knows he has to do this for his sister.

Judge Clarrison

“Are you sure, Evangeline, absolutely no one else was there on the bridge?”

Evangeline

“There was one car, your honor.”

Judge Clarrison

“Do you recall anything about that car?”

Evangeline

“It was yellow, I think. It drove by while Ayla and I were sitting on the edge of the bridge. It scared Ayla. She wasn’t expecting any cars.”

Judge Clarrison

Mabel Clarrison continues to ask Evangeline questions about every detail that happened in the span of ten minutes. She is confident in her answers. This is unusual, to have such a confident, young, calm client. She answers as if she expects to be in trouble if she doesn’t have a strong response. Perhaps she is right.

Marco

Evangeline Taith did not kill Ayla. She couldn’t. But she knows who did. I know that. That’s all I know.

Evangeline

Two cars. One blue, one yellow. One innocent, one guilty.

Marco

“You know who killed her, Evangeline.”

Evangeline

She wishes she didn’t.

Judge Clarrison

“Marco, you may only speak if called to.”

Marco

Marco knows his lawyer won’t understand any of this crap. Only he can tell when Evangeline is lying. It’s always been that way. ‘You could go back to eight years old’, he wants to tell the judge. ‘No one else could tell Evangeline was lying when it came to her shoplifting the candy section at Five Below.’ He knows her.

Judge Clarrison

His lawyer does not speak, and neither does Marco. Clarrison turns back to Evangeline and begins to study her features. Pursed lips equal feelings of injustice. Raised eyebrows result in confusion. Droopy eyes mean guilt. She shows no signs. She is unreadable.

“Did you have any connections with John, Evangeline?” she asks.

Evangeline

Marco, please. Marco, don’t. Marco, I’m sorry. Before she can answer Marco goes-

Marco

“Yes. I mean, I was friends with the guy. He knew her.” Screw the ‘your honor’ stuff, he thinks. 

Judge Clarrison

“Appropriate language, Marco.”

Marco

“Sorry, your honor. He told me all sorts of weird stuff. He had the strangest girlfriends. Yet they were all brunettes and brown eyes. So when he said he was dating my sister- a blond- I was kinda surprised.”

Judge Clarrison

“How do you know John, and what is your relationship with him now?”

Marco

His relationship sucks. He glances at the jury sitting at a long table behind the three persons in the room and says “We haven’t talked since my sister’s-” He’s not sure what to say. It sounds wrong to say death. Too casual, like he’s already gotten over it. He hopes the judge understands. “I met him sophomore year. Now I’m a senior. The last time we hung out was about two weeks ago. He went totally off the grid as soon as Ayla-” Again, I refuse to say the word. “No facebook profile, no messages, nothing. I tried going over to his parents house to see if he was alright but no one was home.” He notices the judge has no glasses. Judges always have glasses. She writes something down and looks back at Evangeline.

Evangeline

She speaks before the judge can ask her the obvious question. “I do not have a relationship with John. I know him, only because he was Ayla’s boyfriend.” Her voice cracks on the word boyfriend. Her emotions wreck her calm facade. 

She glances at the back of the room, where the jury is. Twelve humans. Half male, half female. Some black, some white, some asian. Four have glasses on. Two have facial hair. One has fluffy, curly black hair.

Judge Clarrison

Apart from the fact that Adeline Mae is dead without a clear reason, something is very wrong. Years of forcing herself to hear these similar cases with similar clients all feeling similar emotions helps her decipher Evangeline’s straight face. The best poker faces crack under too much pressure.

Evangeline

Get it together, Evangeline tells herself. Get it together. Over and over again she tells herself three lies.

It is okay.

I am not lying in federal court.

It’s going to be okay in the future.

Judge Clarrison

Question after question, the answer seems obvious. Ayla was with John for seven months. They were still together when Ayla was killed. Evangeline was friends with John, as was Marco. Marco claims he saw several hints of Evangeline and John together. Evangeline says they were only friends. Marco shows the history of contacting John about the death of his sister. John said his sincere apology to Marco. John is excused from court two days later due to the death of his father.

Evangeline

Evangeline’s thoughts wander back to him.

“Was that your first kiss?” I touched my lips that didn’t belong to me anymore.

“What makes you think that?” I should’ve been offended, but I was only amused.

“You seem nervous.” Again, I should’ve been offended. But every sentence he said made me shiver.

“I just really don’t want to mess up.” He grinned a little. I stare at his red hair. His beautiful red hair.

“I think we already did.” I sighed, thinking of Ayla. I could picture her face if I told her. She would laugh at first, and when I would tell her I wasn’t kidding, she would still smile and say something really sassy like “Have a great time with your hot new boyfriend.” Then she would walk out. I know it. I know everything about that girl.

Judge Clarrison

Clarrison looks upon the jury, at the silent parents of Adeline, Marco, Evangeline and both of their lawyers when she realizes their lawyers haven’t spoken much at all. She guesses neither of them needs someone to defend them.

“This case will resume tomorrow at 9 AM, since we are past 4:00. Please continue with normal daily activities. Do not discuss this case.” She taps her wooden gavel onto the small wooden circle on her own podium. Evangeline and Marco are both standing on smaller podiums to her left and right. She departs from the room slowly, as she always does. No one leaves until she does.

Marco

Marco wonders how the hell he is supposed to continue with his daily activities. He’s not so sure what they are anymore. His sister is dead, his cousin is a liar, and his parents are silenced by grief. 

At dinner, no one says anything at all. He tries to break the silence by saying “I like the soup, dad.” His father does that thing where he purses his lips and turns up the corners of his mouth a little bit, and immediately turns them back down. Like he’s trying to smile, but he just can’t figure out how.

Evangeline

Three more lies for her own sanity:

I will eventually fall asleep tonight.

Marco, my only cousin left, doesn’t hate my guts.

I made the right decision.

Marco

It is 3 AM and it is now Marco finally gives up on sleep after hours of changing his white noise settings, reading and closing his eyes.

“Whenever I can’t sleep I don’t fight it,” he remembers Ayla telling him at thirteen years old. Another sleepover with Evangeline meant no sleep for Marco due to squealing and screaming and prank calls. “Sleep is stupid anyways,” Ayla had said, trying to cheer him up. He had grunted and walked to another room. He regrets being so distant.

Marco wants to know more about his sister. It’s not like they didn’t get along- he just never bothered to try and know her. Another thing he regrets.

He finds himself in Ayla’s room for the first time after her disappearance from his life, trying his best to get to know her before it’s all over.

Evangeline

During the night she inevitably dreams of him.

“Ayla is coming back tomorrow, Vange. We need to stop now. I already feel guilty enough. Plus, Ay notices everything, and there are a lot of hints that lead to us.”

“So? What evidence is there? I like triple checked. I didn't leave anything here. You're gonna shower so you can get rid of that lipstick before she comes…although you look pretty cute with that color on,” I joke. I lean forward on my stomach, smiling with my lips together. He grins a little and rolls his eyes.

After a few seconds he curses. When I ask what’s wrong he says “I feel guilty because I don’t feel guilty at all about this.”

I try hard not to feel the same way. “This is it. We did it once. That’s it. Ayla will never be hurt because she’ll never know.”

“I could just tell her.” I stare at him.

“John, no. You have no idea.” He leans back on his hands.

“I do, though. I know her. She’ll be okay.”

“It’s not only about her, John! If my mom finds out, if her mom finds out, they’ll look at me like I’ve ruined Ayla’s life. And my own. And they might have a right too. And I can’t do that. John, don’t tell. Don’t tell. You can’t te-”

“I won’t Vange.” Frantically, I start gathering my backpack filled with overnight essentials (toothbrush, phone, underwear, two hardcover classics just to be safe) and pretend I’m about to leave. We both know I’m not going to.

One kiss leads to another. I cannot stop. I am uncontrollable.

Marco

Marco wakes to the sound of his mother screaming. He jerks up and runs to the living room, only to realize a spider is dangling down from the ceiling. That tracks, he thinks.

After he squishes its eight legs together with a piece of paper towel, he throws it away in the kitchen trash can. He wonders what it would be like if that happened to him. Spiders have no funerals, no court rooms declaring who is responsible or guilty. He has to admit to being slightly jealous. After all, the spider is dead. There is no going back.

“Adeline is dead”, he almost says to himself out loud, like he’s only realizing for the first time. He doesn’t because his mother is in the room and it does not matter who killed her, or if she was killed at all. Like the spider, she is dead and there is no going back.

Judge Clarrison

Clarrison watches what she already knows. She watches the cameras on Mahansan Bridge that show the last footage ever taken of Adeline Mae. She watches as the two girls smile and laugh together. She watches as a man in a yellow car pulls over and tells them to leave. She watches them leave and sneak back into the closed bridge. And finally, she watches the camera cut off into darkness.

Marco

Marco wants to kill Evangeline more than he wants to kill himself. Ayla’s smudged words repeat in his head over and over. He wishes she had told him. He wants to punch both John and Evangeline’s faces until they fall over.

For the first time Marco wonders if Ayla killed herself. It would make sense- she loved the guy way too much for her own good. He always knew John was trouble. 

For the seventh time this week Marco punches the wall. He hits it until it breaks. His parents do not come in. Like the wall he is too broken to be fixed anyway.

Evangeline

Marco’s awareness of the situation was inevitable- Evangeline knew that. Yet she regrets his finding out. She purses her lips to keep from comforting him. She cannot do that. She notices as Marco goes up to the Judge with a sheet of paper.

Judge Clarrison starts the court with useless words. “Continuation of August 21’st Mahansan Bridge Case…”

Judge Clarrison

The new information overwhelms her. Evangeline and Ayla’s boyfriend, John, cheated on Ayla…

It’s obvious, right? Evangeline and John killed Ayla because they loved each other. They wanted to be together. But Clarrison knows she is missing something. John’s father killed himself the day before the court case. Did he do this for his son? Or did he do it for himself?

She thinks she knows.

“Did you and Ayla’s boyfriend, John Stanlin, plan to kill Adeline, Evangeline?”

Evangeline

“No. We did not.” It is the truth. 

Marco

Perhaps Marco is making a mistake believing her when she says this. Because if they didn’t kill her, who the hell did? He thinks he knows.

Judge Clarrison

“You cheated on your best friend, Evangeline. Your cousin.”

Evangeline

“I know.”

Judge Clarrison

“And you killed his father. He didn’t kill himself- but why?” Evangeline stays silent.

Marco

“SPEAK, GODDAMNIT!” He slams his already aching fist into the desk. He is done with silence.

Evangeline

She knows they know. She breathes shakily. “His father isn’t dead. It was fake.” She glances back at the jury- a glimpse of red hair peeking out under the wig of the curly haired juror. She doesn’t realize she is crying. “I loved him. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. We couldn't let anyone know we were together.”

Marco

Marco’s sister is dead. She was killed when Evangeline and John’s father- also named John- decided their public profile was more important than her life. Killed by my cousin and my best friend’s father. 

That is the end of the story. Not all stories have happy endings.

Evangeline

Evangeline’s cousin is dead. She died the second she hit the rushing water, after she was pushed by a man seventeen years older than she. Evangeline knows what she did, and she does not regret it. She knows if she went back she would make the exact same decision. Her love was too strong to be ruined.

Judge Clarrison

Adeline Mae is dead, and Evangeline and John Stalin the First are going to prison for a very long time. As always, there is a feeling of incompleteness in Clarrison’s mind. What happens to the parents? Is locking a child and a man up for years the correct solution?

She knows it must be. There is no other option. So Clarrison packs up her things, leaving Adeline Mae left in the river she died.

THE END