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Written in response to: "Write about a character driving in the rain." as part of Come Rain or Shine.
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lol interesting one! I liked the way it tied together, and John was a very comical character XD
I found that you changed tenses a few times... here's an example.
"I was unsure of him doing anything at all that I almost felt the surge to feel his pulse.
Disappointed, you let out warm air thorough your mouth and focus your attention towards the Judge." --> the POV changes from 'I' to 'you', try to pick one or the other.
Other than that, the story was very well overall :D
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Thanks, Flow! (I see that you have changed your pfp)
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Np :)
(Yep)
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(Your drawing is Coolio)
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Thx
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Also, at that time when I relied earlier, I didn't have enough time...
Thank you for the review.
I wrote this story is just an hour... So yeah.
What do you think, am I improving as a writer?
Another thing, how have you been?
( I have noticed that I don't ask people who I came about this question and keep on renting about myself, SORRY! )
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You definitely are improving :D
(No worries) I’m doing alright ig, hbu?
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I am great too!
=D
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Dat’s good :3
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I’m writing a story, want a sneak peek?
Also, happy fall 🎃🍂🍁 or whatever season it is there lol
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A sneak peak is appreciated...
I am in the Northern Hemisphere only....it is Autumn here too (I think, the weather is more monsoon-esque here)
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Nice story Dhwani and the use of the prompt was amazing.
Good job :))
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OMG! The detail in this story was impecable, and the dialogue? Even better! I loved the way you ended the story! I think it really worked out! The use of the prompt was amazing!
As always, Great Job!!!
-Breckin Northrup
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Thanks!
TBH, I didn't base it off the prompt....but I appreciate your feedback!
=D
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=))))
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Dhwani, I always love a good detective mystery and your tale delivered all the goods, lock, stock, and barrel! Very well conceived and constructed from beginning to end.
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Thank you so much, Stevie!
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This was a wonderful story plot with a lot of funny scenes! Cool!
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Thanks Akshara!
=D
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Thanks a lot, Sienna!
NO, I haven't watched the Hunger Games.... :(
Thanks for the pointing the error
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AC, tbh, I have NEVER watched Hunger Games!
But yeah, I need to stick to one POV.
Thanks for the review!
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Okay...noice.
Thanks AC!
I know your going through a rough patch, just think of all the people who love you and who are always there for you. There are people in your family, your friends and people here, on Reedsy.
Just think about when you went off from here. Everyone was so devastated.
Now think about how they reacted when you came back. They were all exuberant.....
So, you're not alone. Everyone in your life has a purpose.
Stay strong
You're stronger than this, girl....
Enough motivation talk, NOW WHERE IS MY REQUESTED PFP?
{I am just joking man, take your time, I know how this feels.}
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Anytime :)
XD
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Hey Dhwani! Amazing story plot with all the funny scenes and all!
Some things to note are your spelling.
1. "The case of the lost artefacts from the museum is something that our best detectives have not been able to solve." should be "artifact"
2."“Hellp all! I am officer Sotiye. " change to 'Help'
3. "Let the games begin! ” You put the '"' to far apart from the word.
4. "‘You just need to handle him for ten days, L. Just ten days.’' Maybe change to this "You only need to handle him for ten days. You can survive that... right?"
Other than that I really enjoyed it :)
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2. Actually, it was HELLO ALL!
Thanks for the detailed review, Varsha!
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2. Oh i see!
Of course Dhwani! What are friends for?! :D
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