What’ll it be?

“What’ll it be?” asked Sue.

Frank stumbled into the dimly lit bar. It was less for the atmosphere and more so because Sue wasn’t sure if the bulbs were worth changing.

When she agreed to take over her father’s legacy, O’Malley’s Bar & Grill, she thought she would transform the place into a family-friendly experience. Instead, it became a shitty broken-down dive bar. They stopped serving food years ago since the regulars preferred to drink their dinners. Sue couldn’t afford to keep the cook on any longer.

“Oh, you know, the usual.” said Frank.

Frank was Sue’s most regular, regular. The others had either cleaned up or died out. There was a church around the corner that had an AA meeting every night. Sue always waved to her former patrons standing outside smoking cigarettes before their meeting. She was sure they viewed her as the devil and evil incarnate. The one to blame for their years of suffering. However, they remembered her as the bartender that helped them stop using.

For Frank, Sue O’Malley was the surrogate little sister that he always wanted. She was a roughened woman. The years of working the bar had taken their toll. He heard rumors that she was a lesbian, but he knew better. Sue was just old school Irish and a hard worker. Even when she was in school and underage, her father insisted that she work the bar. Frank was instantly charmed by her back then. She was the only woman he had ever respected without any sexual tension. No one hit on her; maybe it was her beefy stature. People knew not to cause a ruckus in the joint. She would kick them out before any punches were thrown. She could see the tension with her peripheral vision.

When the jukebox in the back corner of the bar was still working, Sue would grab the power cord from the wall, silence the place, and holler, “If I see one more ounce of anger outta you, I’m throwing you the hell outta my bar.” No one messed with her.

Sue poured a double Jack neat and placed it before Frank. She strongly doubted this was Frank’s first drink of the day even though it was only 11:00 am.

They were in a college town. It was Christmas break, and still, the place would likely be empty most of the day. Perhaps some locals would mosey in, but the raging snowstorm outside would probably keep them home.

Sue could count on Frank to come in daily, rain, snow, or shine.

He was once a prolific philosophy professor, but his teaching was interrupted by his visits to O'Malley's. It started with Plato and Pitchers night on Mondays. Then came Socrates and Scotch on Saturdays. Each major and minor philosopher had their own nights. When the program turned into two philosophers a day, Frank’s students lost interest. He couldn’t understand what happened, but Sue knew. She witnessed the demise. He drank so much. His slurring was visible. He would take nap breaks in the back booth between sessions, and his students started to doubt how much they could learn from a drunk.

“Who’s on the docket today?”

“Carl Jung, but you know that, Sue. It’s Jack night.”

It was true. Sue had memorized the schedule months ago. She needed to stock up before each meeting with the right beverage. Those philosophy nights had helped Sue keep O’Malley’s out of the red, but as attendance dwindled, so did her hope to keep the bar open.

“Hey, when is that Jukebox going to get a tune up?”

Frank liked to drink with a beat. Sometimes, he would get up and dance to the music he imagined in his head. But he missed the days when the bar was full of students and ripe with possibilities. The decay of the bar was ominous. The booth’s cushions were all ripped and taped up in a shoddy effort to maintain their form. The tables all had names etched into them. That and “fuck” this professor or class. The bathroom stalls were full of graffiti about who to avoid and salacious suggestions about who to call for what service. Everyone knew that the writing on the wall was just meant to be cruel. He never knew what was on the stalls of the women’s restroom, but he was sure it couldn’t be half as bad as the men’s room.

Sue knew the jukebox was a sore topic for Frank. She had tried to fix it herself. It was a relic that required a special technician, and money. Frank was the only one who seemed to want to drink with a soundtrack. Others preferred silence. The college crowd didn’t come in frequently enough to be worth the bother.

“Oh, you know buddy, I don’t think that the jukebox will ever be more but a pretty thing to look at.”

Frank was disappointed but he tried to hide it. The snow was coming down in sheets, and the one lightbulb over the bar flickered.

“It’s not fun to drink alone Sue. Take a shot with me. My treat.”

Frank knew that Sue never paid for her drinks. It was the benefit of having your name on the bar.

“It’s a bit early for me,” she continued, “You know, in honor of Jung, it wouldn’t hurt for us to remember what he says about addiction.”

“Oh, not this again,” Frank moaned.

“You know you aren’t addicted to the drink Frank. You come in here for the silence it gives you. What are you running from?”

The irony of Sue’s attempt to help Frank was always there. He had seen it with all of his former buddies. There was once a time when Frank would come into O’Malley’s and struggle to find a seat at the bar. All of the regulars had to fight for a spot. In fact, it’s why Frank started coming several hours early for his philosophy nights. After their buddy Rick passed away from the drunk driving accident, the others were ready and listening. John and the others got an earful from Sue and started making their way to the church meetings. Frank was the only hold out.

“It’s not that Sue. You just don’t get it.”

“Well then explain it to me Frank. You have nothing to look for in the bottom of all these bottles. I checked.”

“When I lost my tenure, John told me he would only take me back to teach if I stopped drinking. But it wasn’t fair. The real connection with the students happened here.”

That was a partial truth. The connections happened in the classroom, and deepened at the bar, but the discussion could have been just as good at a coffee shop on campus. It wasn’t the spirits that led to intense debates. It was because of Frank’s passion to educate a willing student.

“What do I have left Sue? Without my students, there’s nothing. I have nothing. I never married. I never had kids. The students were my life.”

“Frank, all you have to do is stop coming here.”

Sue knew it was much harder than that. She had seen it before. In fact, O’Malley’s would have been in much better shape if she had stopped convincing her patrons to get clean and get back to their lives before it was too late. Frank was her last project.

“The day O’Malley’s closes is the day I’ll stop drinking.” Frank chuckled.

“Look around Frank. The day you stop drinking is the day O’Malley’s closes.”

Sue was tired of the stress, the upkeep, and the financial toll. She never had a chance to go to school or see what her passions were. Her brother was supposed to take over O’Malley’s, but cancer had taken him far too young. She stepped up and stepped in when her father collapsed. Since then, no one in the family was the same. So, she ran the bar to keep everything together. Her dreams of being a therapist were thwarted. Instead, she became a bar side counselor to her patrons.

“What do you say we make a deal?” Sue said as she filled two shot glasses with whiskey.

He knew where this was going and wasn’t sure he liked the sound of it.

“I’m tired of this place. I’m sick of the stale beer smell that is in all my clothes.”

Frank knew what she was talking about, but for him, the scent was what gave the place its charm and character.

“What do you say if I told you that I’ll agree to close this place and go to school. But you have to do your part.”

Frank really didn’t like where this was going. He reached out to grab one of the shot glasses. Sue swiftly moved it away from his grasp.

“Uh, uh, Frank. You need to agree.”

“Aw, come on Sue. You know that’s not fair. I have nothing left but this.”

She didn’t know where her resolve was coming from. But just the idea of closing the place filled her with energy she hadn’t felt in years.

“Frank, I have nothing but this place. And right now, it’s bringing in just about nothing. We both will need to start from scratch. You can go back to teaching. The administration will agree to it. You just have to want it more than this.”

Sue pointed at the two glasses in front of her.

Suddenly, it sounded like something he could do.

“Let’s drink to it,”

Sue moved one shot in front of Frank.

He looked down at the glass and up at Sue.

“You really want to?”

Sue was scared to answer.

“Yes.”

They looked at each other square in the eyes and both took their drinks.

Sue took both glasses and put them in the well. She turned and grabbed her coat.

“What are you doing Sue?”

“That’s it Frank. Time to go home.”

She turned out the light. The yellowish glow from the streetlight outside oozed inside. Sue knew that she had to walk out now or she wouldn’t have the courage to.

She walked to the door. Frank got up and followed her.

The streetcleaners were barely able to keep up with the snow outside. It was going to be a rough walk home.

Frank grabbed his coat and followed Sue out the door. Sue stepped outside and waited for Frank to pass the threshold.

“Are we really doing this?” Frank asked.

“There’s a time for everything Frank. It’s time for us to move on.”

Frank stepped outside and Sue closed the door. She grabbed her keys with shaking hands and locked it.

They looked at each other. Frank was having trouble standing straight. There was nothing left to say. Hugging wasn’t really their thing either.

Frank put his hand out.

Sue took it and shook.

They both turned around and walked away. Sue took a few cautious steps. Then paused to look back. Frank had already disappeared into the night. She could barely catch a glimpse of him with the snow and darkness.

The next morning, the snowstorm had stopped. Everything was coated with a beautiful white clean sheet of snow. The street cleaners had caught up with the plowing. Sue was outside shoveling the sidewalk outside of O'Malley's. She couldn’t afford a lawsuit if someone slipped on the ice. She saw Frank walking over.

Sue grabbed the door handle. She looked at Frank. Had the resolve from the previous night melted away?

They both walked in with a quiet understanding.

“What’ll it be?” asked Sue.