Time is of the Essence

The clock on the wall ticked quietly above the young girl’s head.

Tick.

Tock.

The young girl anxiously sat in the waiting room alone. Her eyes following the second hand on the clock move from one number to the next: tick, tock.

Her heart raced faster with each counting second. 

The waiting room was empty with only the receptionist tapping away at her computer, taking occasional sips of her freshly brewed coffee. 

The girl knew this because she had been waiting for twenty-two minutes–twenty-three minutes. 

She glanced at the clock again.

'Twas a mundane Thursday for the indifferent receptionist who went about her day completing her daily tasks. Across the room, the young girl skipped school. Her leg was bouncing under her chair as she waited for her name to be called. 

This wasn’t supposed to take so long, the girl thought. Only for the morning.

But the time was already 12:47 pm; lunch had just finished, and her third-period class began. 

She could feel her phone ringing and dinging; looking down at her phone, she saw 2 missed messages and one missed call from her best friend. 

“Hey, where are you?”

“Are you still coming to class?”

She locked the screen without replying.

Her stomach churned and she shut her eyes for a moment, only to reopen them and find the receptionist still typing while the clock continued ticking…

Everything was normal. 

She shrugged her shoulders, taking a deep breath, redirecting her focus to the TV in the corner that no one seemed to be watching. 

Despite its loud volume, the girl was filled with uneasy silence.

I mean… There was nothing to be worried about...

The test could be wrong.

It has to be! 

The girl inhaled again, collecting her ideas, when from somewhere down the corridor, a phone rang and was promptly muted.

Her eyes were back on the clock; it was now 12:52 pm.

“Miss”

The receptionist looked at her.

“The doctor is ready to see you now." 

For a brief moment she stood still, taking in the moment before picking up her backpack to enter the doctor’s office. 

Whatever the answer, everything is still going to be normal. 

Shortly, the door to the exam rooms swung open, and the girl entered gradually.

Finally, in the doctor’s room at last, she took a seat, waiting for the doctor to walk in. The walls were painted in dull pastels, designed to soothe the sick, yet they appeared more uninviting and detached. 

Scanning the room to find a sense of comfort, she noticed his neatly oak-framed certificate hanging on the wall. Closely examining it, the certificate had the doctor’s name printed along with an official seal stamped across the page.

It seemed reassuring to the girl somehow. At least, she knew she was in good hands.

The time was 1:00 pm when the doctor finally walked in. The girl snapped right up in her seat, clasping her hands together.

He walked in with a clipboard in hand, offering a warm friendly smile.

The girl smiled back, making eye contact. She felt a wave of relief feeling his warm energy. 

It must be good news. 

She thought to herself, patiently waiting for his answer.

The doctor’s soft, steady voice filled the room as he began explaining her results.

He flipped the papers on his clipboard, glancing back at her. Then, back at his clipboard before he began to speak.

“After evaluating your results,” he looked at her again. 

“The test came back positive.” 

Positive?

She grinned, anticipating the comfort to soon arrive.

It didn't…

The clock continued ticking as her heart suddenly dropped. 

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Drop.

Drop.

Drop.

Drop.

She stared at the doctor as he explained the next steps, but everything around her slowly became a blur–then utter silence. 

She continued smiling, watching his lips move, but his words seemed distant. 

Similar to the dull pastels on the office walls, his expression remained calm and distant. 

For he was used to this. This was another appointment, another patient, another difficult conversation that ended in options. 

A regular day in his world. 

She continued watching him speak, his voice diminishing further into the background. He slowly handed her a pamphlet with her possible options. Decisions.

The girl nodded, pretending to understand, before she stood up, shaking his hand. As she gathered her belongings, she looked one last look at the clock on the wall. The time was now 1:28 pm. 

The world outside the office continued moving.

But hers had stopped.

The bus ride home was more intense than usual. The bus was filled with echoes from all corners, from the elderly man coughing to the talkative teens and the guy booming his music in the rear. It was completely packed, yet for some reason she felt utterly isolated.

Glancing at the nearest window, watching the familiar streets pass by.

There was her elementary school.

The same building her best friend had lived in for years. 

The same traffic.

The same people going about her day.

Then, to her left, she noticed a fully grown woman rocking her baby to sleep in its blue stroller, completely unfazed by the bus's chaotic noise.

The mother smiled down at her child, gently adjusting the blanket to pick her up. 

Before she could see the baby’s face, the bus ride had called her to stop.  With no hesitation, the girl immediately turned her head, getting off the crowded bus. The doors closed behind her as she walked towards the nearest bench in the park across from her house; the pamphlet remained folded tightly in her hands.

She could hear children laughing in the park.

Followed by a loud dog bark.

This park is a childhood landmark. 

In the corner of her eye, she noticed two teenage girls whispering to one another, bursting into laughter as they shared snacks from the local dollar mart. 

It reminded her of her own life that included heartbreak, allowances, unfinished homework, and problems that once seemed like the end of the world.

Problems that suddenly seemed so small. It was like looking in a mirror. 

Except the girl staring back at her was someone she no longer recognized. 

Someone she no longer was…

She shut her eyes to embrace the breeze of nature and the sun's gentle warmth.

In her head, she saw a question mark appear.

The question being, what will you do? 

There was no clock. But time is of the essence. 

“There's no going back now." Her eyes drifted down to her belly.

For the first time, she nervously placed her frigid fingers on her warm belly. 

"Hello," she paused, patting her stomach up and down.

“It is nice to meet you… I am not usually this nervous."

Frazzled by her words, she let out a small, embarrassed laugh. 

She was uncertain about what the next day would hold.

She was unsure of her parents' reaction.

She had no idea what her life would resemble now.

Yet, for the first time that day, the choice seemed to belong to her.

Slowly but surely this sheer embarrassment turned into an embrace as she began to caress this creation of life. 

That was all hers.