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Weekly Contest #264
A woman in a green dress asked if I could watch her purse while she went to the restroom. Something about being my age allows people to assume that I will watch things despite not being able to see all that well. I wear the most idiotic glasses lately. I had little choice in the matter as my son picked them out of a catalog for me. They are rectangular and become dark in the sunlight which makes me think I’m dying about 14 times a day. I can see clearly enough to read the woman’s driver’s license. She was born the same year that I reti...
Weekly Contest #263
Retail is hell. I can’t tell you how annoying it is to be called up at any god-forsaken hour of the night just to buy a soul. What they don’t tell you about eternal damnation is that it’s no cakewalk for me either. I need rest. I can delegate all day to lesser demons but this is still a 24/7 job. At least, thank God, there aren’t any ear-splitting harps playing at all hours. Do you think a cherub can play the harp well? Have you seen their little sausage fingers? With all the musicians down here we at least have some nice variety, a little r...
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