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Weekly Contest #362
<This story includes a lot of cursing> Dylan Jackson was mid backhand when he kicked over the bottle of Budweiser that he had forgotten he had placed down on the tee pad just thirty seconds previous. “Fuck!”, he muttered to himself as the bottle shattered across the concrete, “Double fuck!” he screamed as his beat-up KC Pro Roc careened off of a fairway tree and deep into the woods of the Cumberland Creek Disc Golf Course. Dylan disappointedly kicked the glass off of the pad and into the surrounding grass. He had bought a six pack,...
Weekly Contest #313
“Definitely the theater fight,” Louise said.“Absolutely,” Ian agreed, “That one’s a no doubter.”“What was up with you that night?”“I was hungry. That’s really just it. In a bad mood to begin with because it was a shitty day at work, and then I hadn’t eaten since lunch, and all of a sudden you were sweating me for being a little late, and I just lost it,” Ian explained, “I’m sorry.”“Why couldn’t you just say that” Louise said, “I thought you were really pissed at me for something and I didn’t have a clue what I’d done. And it was so humiliati...
Weekly Contest #312
I: Deuce Jake's AI Self made an observation, “I don’t think Amanda finds your jokes as funny as we do.”“Excuse me? Shut up, Deuce.”Jake thought that naming his cloned personality “Deuce” was very clever. Deuce had learned that it wasn’t.“Like what jokes exactly. And I dare you to be specific.”“Well, when she makes a small mistake and then you keep bringing it up over and over again. I think she maybe finds it funny the first time, but then I think she finds it increasingly less funny each time after that,” Deuce replied evenly.“And how would...
Weekly Contest #310
I: AsylumFifteen million aliens arrived instantaneously and simultaneously across the United States.The only thing to distinguish them from Humans was that nobody could understand anything they were saying. They spoke a beautiful, musical language and were officially named Cetaceans because of how much it sounded like whale song.But nobody called them that. It was difficult to pronounce, even harder to spell, and given the lack of any other aliens, there wasn’t an immediate need for proper nouns anyway.The strongest aliens immediately encirc...
Weekly Contest #308
Luke woke up to one of those cloudless, windless summer days where the air was so thick and heavy that it felt like you were drinking it as much as breathing it. Birds barely flew, and every street, van, and building reflected so much radiant light that those rare pockets of shade looked like sanctuary caves scattered around the city.People here would say it’s not the heat but the humidity, but, Luke thought, when it’s still not even noon and you’re sweating through your second shirt of the day just six deliveries in, there’s plenty of blame...
Weekly Contest #306
Cucumber Waffles with Buffalo Raisin Syrup A new administration always means some degree of change; elections do in fact have consequences, even for the National Recipe Archive. Historically those changes have been largely ceremonial, subject to the particular tastes of the incoming prime minister. The outgoing minister, for example, had a fondness for cobblers, and they represented close to half the dishes added to the National Recipe Archive during his time in office. More health conscious ministers had focused on leaner, low-calorie repla...
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