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Weekly Contest #372
It's been hot this summer, even at night, so I wake up more than usual.When I can't sleep, I focus on my breathing, as if I were meditating, even though I don't meditate otherwise, or I inhale for a few seconds and hold my breath for a few seconds and exhale for a few seconds, over and over again, or I count back from a hundred until I reach zero, and sometimes I continue on below zero, or I try some fancy new technique like cognitive shuffling, where I think of an emotionally neutral word like PLANET and then come up with as many words that...
Shortlisted for Contest #371 ⭐️
I bumped into Woody Allen on Houston late one night, right outside the Angelika. I think it was a coincidence. I don't think he'd gone to see his movie. It was a long time ago, long before Woody Allen became problematic, or before the world at large thought of him as problematic. My girlfriend at the time and I had just gotten out of a revival screening of The Purple Rose of Cairo, the movie Woody Allen directed with Mia Farrow and Jeff Daniels in the leading roles. Mia Farrow, Woody Allen's erstwhile partner and later accuser, is a depresse...
Weekly Contest #370
You've never been good at dating.Choosing a time and venue is the first challenge. You waffle between alternatives until your potential date has lost interest. It's easier if they suggest the when and where – tomorrow night, 6 o'clock, Cheesecake Factory. You agree immediately, so you don't have to think about it anymore.In the run-up to the date, all you can think about is how you'll dress, what you'll do with your hair, whether to wear sneakers or fancy shoes, and you think about what you'll say, which jokes to tell, which anecdotes from y...
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