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Joe Smallwood

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Apr, 2023

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66 Followers

25 Following

103 Stories

2284 karma pts

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Merry Christmas!

Weekly Contest #229

You have to hand it to them! Always trying. Those relatives.Here I am, waiting for whatever. Then the phone rings.“Jimmy! We have a place setting just for you. On the dining room table. Apple pie! Whaddya say?”Christmas, 2022. I was so not ready for this.“I dunno, Aunt Susan. Things are busy here lately. I don’t know if I must fill in for the boss. He said he would let me know…”Then it's yada yada. I start holding my phone away from me. Oliver is making a face. He’s writing a note. Then, he holds it up at an angle, making it hard to read.Emm...

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Fast Food Haberdashery

Weekly Contest #228

“I hate it when my pants make noises when I walk!”It wasn’t our kind of day. So, her look said it all.“Can you still return them?” I replied, helpful, sort of.She stopped walking. “I can’t hear them,” I said. “I swear! Get them wifi enabled? Then you could get some online help?”“Oh, you!”#Me. So I cooked up something. Anything. Not a foodie, obviously. Mac and cheese. Now, that is something.“Oh, yuck! What is this goop?”She did that exaggerated ladling with the wooden spoon thing. You know when you lift whatever you despise and slowly l...

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The Best Chicken Dinner Ever

Weekly Contest #227

Aching feet crunch through that howling blast of wind, my endless pace defying the billowing snow clouds that soak what little dry cloth remains of my scarf, parka, and pants. It was my soggy attempt to bundle up through an endless car-strewn landscape. Just getting to the office bus stop was a story all its own. If I could make my lips move to tell it.But I was one of the fortunate few. Unlike many motorists, I would have a bus to transport me home. We would have bus lanes and priority access to whatever highway snow-clearing was available!...

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Hugh Munn

Weekly Contest #222

Discussion of suicide.Hugh Munn had a secret.An enigma wrapped up in a conundrum, encapsulated in a misunderstanding, giving birth to a phantasm? He called it his life, sort of.In other words, he was like anyone else.#Hugh! How do you do? Asked everything around him. Really! You can hear the voices in your head, can’t you? Most of us don’t listen that hard. But everything else does.That’s the thing about reality. Always listening. And we are the deaf and blind leading the…“What you need to know!” screams the headline as it takes us by t...

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The Cards You Have

Weekly Contest #219

It isn’t always so bad. Really. I can be entertaining. So perfectionistic. I make perfectionists nervous. I can laugh at myself, too.You aren’t the first to put two and two together. What a curious phrase that is. No one talks about putting one and one together. Connect the dots, make connections.You need others for that.So, I’ll be what you want me to be. That’s always the trick. I am guessing what others want before they are on to me. Or off to me. More off than on.I have to work on that.#She never paid that much attention. I’m that person...

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That Bread. Baking, Still.

Weekly Contest #218

“Sorry, what did you say again?”It was my mother, dressed up, me in an itchy tie and starched dress shirt. This wasn’t going to be fun.“Why do you always bake bread before an open house?”A simple question, maybe she might answer. She would fill the house she wanted to sell with this fantastic smell of baking bread, then take the half-baked bread and discard it."Enough of that!" She would say, laughing, just before clients would arrive. "No need to feed people!"But today, no smiles, no joking. It was all about the brochures that I made and ho...

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The Handsome Prints

Weekly Contest #217

Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night, and a fair maiden was looking for her prints. It would be like any other evening, except this evening was unlike any there had ever been. It was so disheartening to deal with such disturbance and utter disappointment.“It should have been by now!” she thought. “What death-defying happenstance could account for this malfeasance?Her one and only handsome prints were not to be found, such as they were, a figment of her imagination. For it was said that one day, the owner of everything would appea...

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Leticia Was Her Name

Weekly Contest #216

There has to be more life in my life! That's it. Get out there...It was a social gathering for twenty-somethings, and everyone welcomed her, although those hi-how-are-yous were beginning to wear thin.She was a little heavy, yet dressed so nicely, her hopeful eyes scanning the room. Will I be happy here? It seemed so natural to let down her guard: Finally, I'm home; this is the place!It could have been a wonderful evening, but that was before she made losing weight her topic of conversation. People indulging in that light spirit and bonhomie ...

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Are You Alright

Weekly Contest #216

“Are you alright?”“Yeah, how long was I out for?”‘A minute or so. Do you think you should see a doctor?”“Nah! I’m fine.”January 12th 2018“Why are there so many Canadian flags around these days, eh?” I wondered aloud as we drove by Walmart one day.“It’s so the Americans could know they are in Canada,” answered my wife, tongue in cheek. “And certain other people…”“Yeah, but this one is huge!”“Well, you can’t bring guns into Canada. You can’t bring your police speed trap detectors. When you leave, you must leave your weed behind. Saves a lot of...

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The Broad Strokes

Weekly Contest #215

“Some people start talking to themselves whenever I am around,” I observed one fine Saturday.“How so, Peter?” my wife replied while she checked the firmness of a Cucumis melo reticulatus, otherwise known as a muskmelon or cantaloupe. “Too firm, that one,” she said, rolling it over to grab the one that made her smile.“See what I mean?” I huffed.“I was talking to you, not to myself!” Into one of her numerous cloth bags that melon went.We should have gotten a cart. Goodness knows how heavy a load I would have at the grocery checkout. And I woul...

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It Had to Be

Weekly Contest #215

You’d think I would know better. Really. It was a simple thing: just be normal, like everyone else. Enter a crowded room and not wonder about everything.Oh, how I would try! Let’s see. Work hard at not working hard! Absurd enough? Absurdism had nothing on me. Master of Dissembling that I was! Or am, whatever!You wonder if there will ever be enough of me to go around. There wasn’t enough of me for myself. What a thought. Where was me for myself? Going gone done! Sold to the gentleman who had better things to do than think about these things!B...

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Natal Day

Weekly Contest #214

Trigger warning: death of a child.The road by our house was sand-sealed, not paved. It would heave and tilt every spring, shedding gravel and tar clumps for the graders, men, and dump trucks to set right again.The kids in our neighborhood were friendly enough, and when we weren’t in our backyards, the road was our playground. We played Red Rover until too many scraped knees made tearing up and tossing frisbee-shaped chunks of sand-seal more fun. We never got in trouble for that.Trouble unlike any we had ever known before started on a sunny S...

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The Pavilion

Weekly Contest #210

It should have happened to someone else. As St. Germain said, everyone had already been through the wringer. A parade of people, the who’s who of SETI, scientists, politicians, ordinary people, wackos, and children. Yes, children.“So, you’re right where you belong,” St. Germain quipped. “Children being SETI’s last try.”He looked me over like he was meeting me for the first time, even though he was supposedly the boss of Regional Health. “It's down to the local authorities,” he continued. “Health Services, Port Hansen, as you know.”...

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Zippo

“I can see my whole life, start to finish.”“There shouldn’t be a finish. You’re seeing it wrong.”That trip. Together. Shouldn’t be something you could even talk about. He wanted to go one way, and I wanted to go one way. One and one makes two trips, but it's one.Say again?Second try. We were very different. But we are the same. Except he sees an endpoint, and I don’t. What are we talking about?Third try. He thinks I can’t make sense of this. But he is wrong. The fact that there is an end to his life, his trip, is the key. That shouldn’t be.#...

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Burning Down the House

Weekly Contest #209

Discussions of family breakdown and abuse.As the upper floor of the old farmhouse yielded its secrets, I was near to overflowing with excitement. I turned to my brother, who, lacking experience in adventuring, was wont to throw caution to the wind in his explorations, although I observed that he arranged matters to the best of his ability, given his tender years. Of such was our journey to the ends of mortal longing. Alas! It was not to be!“Will both of you get down here?” yelled a familiar voice. “You know you’re not allowed up there! What ...

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