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Weekly Contest #130
“‘Adorbiez,’ I get it. They’re orb-shaped and they’re adorable. Funny!” The FDA inspector stopped rolling the navel orange in his palm when he realized the fruit vendor hadn’t congratulated him on his cleverness. “Adorb was my great-grandfather’s name.” “Oh- I mean-”“Nah, I’m just joshing,” the vendor cut across the fumbled apology and clapped a big hand on his shoulder. “You got it in one. Name’s Cuthbert Maxwell. Let me get that badge and we’ll get this meeting started, eh?”The inspector passed over the shiny shield that proudly ...
Weekly Contest #129
When I left, the snow clung to my mittens like powdered sugar. It didn't matter how much I clapped my woolly hands. Snow had been falling all day, and there was no sign of slowing. That didn’t matter to me either, because these ultra-warm mittens were literally made for this kind of weather. The boots, too, were specially tailored for cross country skiing. The poles were brand new, the skis freshly waxed. I’d done my research, bought all the right stuff, and planned my route to perfection. The stars had aligned for me. So when...
Weekly Contest #103
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”Mercedes heaved a sigh so enormous she bent double. Or, as double as she could with her giant belly crammed inside such a tight dress. “Oh god, wow, could you be any more of a cliche?”“Sure I could. I could tell you that your eyes look like limpid pools or ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven.”“Gross.” She steered the car around the McDonald’s building, following a trail of cars and SUVs, each pumping gray plumes of toxic gas. She wondered vaguely if the exhaust chemicals were hurting her baby,...
Weekly Contest #87
“Hey, good morning, Rich. TGIF, am I right?”“Can it, Marjorie,” he barked. The receptionist balked and tapped her pen on the keyboard.He backtracked but maintained his dour expression. “Sorry, it’s just that I had the worst day yesterday and I do not, under any circumstances, want a repeat.”Before stalking off, Richard Robinson glanced furtively around the room. Seeing no one except a deflated Marjorie, he hurried to his desk, careful to stay well within the worn track in the center of the greige-carpeted hallway. He slowed as he approached ...
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