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Weekly Contest #336
“Grandma! I’ve come to visit you! I hope you don’t mind, I let myself in. It’s such a long journey through the woods to get here. And you know me, I have to stop and sniff every daisy and lick the bark of every tree. I’m in school a lot more now since I’m 8, and can’t always experience the fun of true childhood these days. So I need to get in all the nature I can.“I even met a new friend along the way. A tall guy, and sooooo hairy! He said he liked my coat, you know how red it is? I told him I got it at Target. It was really my mom who bough...
Weekly Contest #299
On the outside, Marty’s home was the picture of Christmas cheer. Lights trimmed the gutters, glowing through the dusting of snow. Inflatable reindeer rippled in the freezing winter gale. A neat brick chimney rose from the roof of the house. The glow of the holidays was still fresh in the hearts of many, except for health care CEOs and corporate lawyers who never felt the spirit of Christmas to begin with.But those poor souls weren’t alone in their loneliness. Marty, too, was stricken with the post-holiday blues. It was the first Christmas wi...
Weekly Contest #294
My Dearest Yo-Yo,First, I must congratulate you on your victory. According to the rules of the bet, I must now pay up. Since it has been several moons since last we matched wits, allow me to refresh your feeble memory.On the eve of November 16, 2022, as we were watching “Chernobyl” together at my domicile with the rest of the homies, I elucidated the actor on screen was Adam Driver, star of many fine films such as “Marriage Story” and “The Last Duel,” as well as some not-so-fine films like… well, you know the ones.Anyway, as you recall, I po...
Weekly Contest #293
“Good mooooooorning!” my fellow passenger sings over the intercom. I grit my teeth. It’s not that I hate mornings, it’s that I hate the wisher.There are seven of us on this flight. The pilot, the captain, the hydroponics farmer, the psychologist, the engineer, and me, chief scientist. We’re part of a mission to test human’s reaction to long-haul flights in space. Mars is the goal, but in the meantime, the crew of the always-cramped Gourd and I are guinea pigs for long-term flight. We’ve been in orbit around earth for nearly 180 days.And I am...
Weekly Contest #292
There was a time I was an artist. But those days are long gone. My trembling, wrinkled hands are no longer stained with oil. My nails, yellowed and brittle, are uniform color and caked with gunk instead of my oil paints. My smocks were donated. My studio is shuttered. My brushes, put down with every intention of picking them back up, gather dust. After the fall, I couldn’t pick up much of anything. Rotten luck, and bit of carelessness in a slippery tub. After that, I wasn’t allowed to live alone. They’ve got me cooped up in this ‘retirement ...
Weekly Contest #186
“Explain.” The word I now dread most. Before this I was a teacher; explaining things was my job. This is how a cell works. Here is our evolutionary tree. The three types of rock are igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic. Explaining things to children takes time and patience, but they learn, grow, and eventually become full-fledged members of society, ready to consume content, post asinine opinions online, and forget everything I’ve taught them. The circle of life. “Explain.” I shudder. The inquiring alien is a hulking mass of tentacles and e...
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