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Weekly Contest #275
***TW: Inference of Childhood SA*** I’m not gonna take a dump in a public restroom. I’m not gonna take a dump in a public restroom. I’m not gonna…Damnit.I’m not gonna make it home. And it’s RIGHT there. That grim, concrete bunker masquerading as a sanctuary of sanitation. Sickly 40-watt bulbs over twin entrances generating just enough illumination for the beast to be visible in the night. Barely-there beacons of hope guiding desperate travellers to safety. Or to ruin if they function for a siren.Which, to me, they always have done. Late nigh...
Weekly Contest #272
Having loaded ice chests full of freshly caught crab into the back of his muddy 4x4, secured his sixteen-foot, red and white Orkney Strikeliner to the trailer attached to the vehicle, and returned to the pier to retrieve the nylon-mesh crab pots left behind, Myles Burke caught sight of something bobbing in the water, an object he hadn’t noticed there before.He recognised it at once as an old-style lobster pot, its slats covered in thick, brown seaweed, its netting encrusted with barnacles. Mud and silt clung to its frame, and plant matter da...
Weekly Contest #270
Recipe #666 / Variation 091Servings: 7 Preparation Time: Varies (based on resistance of ingredients)Ingredients:1 eye of newt1 toe of frog150 grams wool of bat1 tongue of dog10 scales of dragonA pinch of dead man’s bloodA drop of a virgin's tear1 swollen, pus-filled witchetty grub for flavourPreparation:A. Acquire pre-selected ingredients from their natural habitats. Successful extraction requires careful attention to prevent accidental damage.1. NewtNet the Newt in a crumbling inner-city neighbourhood. Still in his teens, the Newt is m...
Weekly Contest #269
6Mitchel Conroy’s oxfords clacked and heart thumped as he hurried through the settling dusk from something.Since breakfast, the eerie sensation of being watched had intensified with the crawling of his skin.He hadn’t seen anyone. Or heard anything. But he felt it wherever he went.Something was coming and the darkness was making it bolder.He picked up the pace as he turned into the tree-lined avenue that led to the wrought-iron gates of his community. Sticky puddles of sweat beneath his suit urged him on until he reached the keypad, disengage...
Winner of Weekly Contest #266 🏆
08:50:05.000:RequestGeneratedHey Phaedra, can you give me a recipe for vegan lasagne with a rich, creamy bechamel sauce?08:50:05.005: ResponseDispatched++Certainly! For a delicious vegan lasagne, you'll need lasagne noodles, marinara sauce, vegan ricotta, and a homemade bechamel sauce. Here's the recipe and step-by-step instructions, Michael!++08:50:05.012:RequestGeneratedPhaedra, how do I fix a leaky faucet?08:50:05.020: ResponseDispatched ++Here’s a step-by-step guide to get that faucet fixed. Grab a wrench and some plumber’s tap...
Weekly Contest #265
The De Havilland Twin Otter charter plane shuddered through grey clouds as its mouthy pilot wrestled with the controls, navigating toward the barely visible landing strip ahead. Like the plane’s humming engines, the bearded Inuit’s mouth hadn’t stopped buzzing since we’d taken off from Iqaluit three hours before, and my tolerance for both noises had grown slim. Happily, the end of this ordeal was in sight, the small hamlet Mittimatalik–known as Pond Inlet–which we were rocking and tilting down towards. From this vantage point and in this daw...
Weekly Contest #264
Two and a half hours after touching down in Innsbruck and boarding the SUV that waited to greet her, Amelia Carver’s overnight expedition came to an end at a squat, crumbling structure in the rugged terrain of Saminatal Valley. From Dublin to Austria to Liechtenstein, from 12am to 6, from civilisation to desolation, and she still didn’t know if it was worth it. Looking at the building, little more than an abandoned mound of concrete, it was difficult to see how it could be. She hadn’t accomplished anything of note since last year. She w...
Weekly Contest #263
Theme parks are the best, the roller coasters rule, but I didn’t want to go into the House of Horrors. It looked dark and creepy and I knew it was full of dead things and madmen, like the pictures on my dad’s scary videos. That kind of stuff made my insides squirm and threaten to erupt buckets of puke, but Bernice had the tickets and me by the hand, and she was dragging me along and wouldn’t stop.What was I supposed to do, sit down and cry? I’d look like a baby and Bernice would laugh. It was the first time she’d talked to me, so I didn’t wa...
Weekly Contest #262
"Attention inmates. This is an advisory notice. Today’s HEAT, previously scheduled for 16:33:07, is now expected to initiate at 16:06:34. Anticipated duration: Fourteen minutes. Revised intensity level: 20. All prisoners will cease operations imminently. All Scorpiens will return their charges to their Habitats. Protective protocols must be complete by 16:04. Notice ends."The garbled message, issued from the speakers in her helmet, ended with a crackle and Eva lowered her welding gun from a grid of metal girders, turning to look at her guard...
Weekly Contest #259
It came at her with a high-pitched wail and thick froth foaming from its mouth, black eyes wide on bald head, stubby limbs flailing as tainted feathers slipped from its wings.“Scelus!” she gasped, as the prune-skinned not-child crashed into her, knocking her into a wall that wasn’t a wall. Grasping the pair of swallow-small wings protruding from the creature’s shoulders, she tried to hold it back while it pawed at her chest. “Get off me!”The ‘wall’ behind her shifted and two pillar-like arms shot forward, one of them clamping around the todd...
Weekly Contest #256
Time of contact: 15:05:01Impact Force: 6000 NewtonsServe speed: 135mphDistance travelled: 25.5mAngle: 60 degrees to horizontalVelocity: 82m/sRequired service return response: Ten paces left moving forward 30 degrees, commence swing at 15:05:03, apply 5500 newtons of pressure in a topspin forehand shot with an upward trajectory of 35 degrees to the horizontal.That’s what the voice of the AI vocoder instructs inside me head, for the umpteenth time this session, an’ who am I ta argue? It’s not like I’m important. Not like I was ever a champ, mu...
Weekly Contest #255
A day.Mummy and Daddy left me. They went away and left me on my own, in this scary place with sharp and spiky stones that stab my feet. I don’t want to cry, on this beach, if it is a beach, because the only sound is that of pebbles crunching beneath my toes and my voice sounds weird, like an echo. There’s nothing to see except the wispy grey fog that folds around me. It feels like I’m by the sea, because of the stones and that disgusting, salty smell, but I can’t hear any waves or people splashing. If it is the seaside, a boring s...
Weekly Contest #253
“Hey, Ed, could you slow down please? These country roads are lethal, you can’t see a flipping thing.”“Yeah, Edmund, headlights can barely pick out the bends before they appear on this stretch, slow it down.”“You’re going to slam us into a tree, or a herd of sheep, or a big pile of shitty manure if the smell around here is anything to go by. Put the window up, Edwin, it stinks!”“Could you all shut up? It’s fine, I do this drive all the time, you know that.”“Yep, some of us more than others. You don’t have to go so fast though. It's not like ...
Weekly Contest #239
Monday, 6.50 p.m.Sitting hunched over the scratched, wooden surface of the desk in the corner of his room, Hideo Nakamura froze mid-brush stroke and stiffened, the hairs on the back of his neck rising up in response to the sudden, inexplicable certainty that he was being watched.He was home alone, had been for days, the house was deathly quiet and the night was still. He’d been buried so deep in silent concentration while he practiced his kanji that he could have heard a moth flap its wings or a spider scuttle across the floor. Nobody, not a...
Weekly Contest #232
January 1st, 202411.15pmI was five hours into a twelve hour drive from Edinburgh to Penzance, on my way down for Gran’s funeral. A gran I didn’t like and hadn’t seen since I was a kid but had still been harassed into showing up for. I was doing it under duress. It was New Year’s Day for God’s sake. Who has to travel on New Year’s Day for a funeral on the 2nd of January? Who dies on December 30th necessitating the need for said funeral? My inconsiderate, miserly, reclusive Gran on my mum’s side, who used to shut me out in the cold and shout a...
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