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Submitted to Contest #337
Windows dark like empty eyes. Not sure when the abandonment began, however, I began absorbing the darkness. Ducked behind the glass was a lost soul, scared and hurt. Afraid to let the light inside. Trembling and yet sheltered behind the lifeless windows. The house did not judge but was holding space for the soul to once again be filled with the flame of a fire.I was neglected and like an abandoned house, I carried the emptiness like a badge of honor. My energy was of an emotional weather. Time had stopped like one could see on an old, abando...
Submitted to Contest #332
The sky was dark, and the moon was huge and round. Its light spilled a silvery glow over the landscape. Right after dinner my dog, Doc, and I went on a stroll in the neighborhood. The air was crisp, and each inhalation felt like I was sipping ice cold water.I usually take a small flashlight with me onto our walks. Not so tonight, because the light of the moon illuminated the night. Our shadows reflected elongated on the sidewalk, seemingly walking ahead of us.Doc and I walked on our usual route. The neighbors had their Christmas lights up an...
Submitted to Contest #331
I was working daily and received several certifications in order to secure job opportunities. I just had graduated from an addiction counselor program and passed the CADCII test. Now I was able to work internationally if I decided to do so. My next step was RN school. Even though life was pretty calm and stable, I wished for more security. My dream was to be the next Powerball Jackpot winner in California. Lately I had the urge to live in a place which had seasons. Snowfall was nonexistent where my dog and I lived currently. My biggest wish ...
Submitted to Contest #316
It took an enormous amount of experiences, struggles, and time for me to become the person I am. Every challenge carried its own lesson, every setback revealed a hidden strength, and every moment of doubt slowly shaped me into someone stronger, wiser, and more grounded. Looking back, I see that the journey was not just about reaching this version of myself, but about learning to honor the process, to embrace growth, and to trust that even the hardest seasons were guiding me here.The abuse of my mother, neglect of my father, loss of my careta...
Submitted to Contest #315
The day I walked through the doors of the Log Cabin in Beverly Hills; My second chance on life began. The moment I stopped pretending that I could do it "ALONE". In submitting I was powerless and in surrendering I found my freedom. I had to admit that I was brutally broken and addicted to drugs and alcohol. I was obsessed with my crazy criminal boyfriend from South Los Angeles.No one could tell me to leave him. No one! I was so broken that I thought abuse to be a normal part in a relationship. He thought that abusing a female was normal beca...
Submitted to Contest #314
CW: Includes strong sexual themes. It was the hottest day of the year and a Tuesday. The announcer on the radio said that it was a sunny day without one cloud in the sky. I usually ran up Runyon Canyon in the morning but not this morning. It was way too hot on that Tuesday morning and way too early.Instead of running up Runyon, I read a book, took a shower and got ready for work. I was glad that I had to wear comfortable clothing for work. Our uniform consisted of a black t-shirt, thighs and clogs. My boss asked me to wear a white coat over ...
Submitted to Contest #313
CW: Themes of substance abuse and trauma. “Are you there, God? Can you hear me. It's me Claudia. Yea, I know I call you often, but I really need you this time. You never answer me. My mother is going crazy again. I really wish you would answer me. Please, please answer me." To my surprise, this time I heard God’s voice clearly. "The first time in my life," I thought, "I am able to hear God speak to me. Or was I not listening, prior to today." Maybe I was not ready or not willing to hear God speak prior to today. Is it possible? I am two year...
Submitted to Contest #312
Early mornings are my favorite. I wake up, make coffee and walk my dog. Then I entertain myself with an Alexa conversation. It's so much fun. This began when I asked Siri how much zero divided by zero is as a sum. Siri's answer was priceless.The Axela morning was a very interesting morning. First I was not sure If I was awake or if I was dreaming because it all happened so clearly. While still sleeping I heard this voice.In my dream I heard a voice saying: “It is 4:00am Tuesday the 21rst of July.” I thought to myself: “Already Tuesday, I tho...
Submitted to Contest #311
My journey to self-reliance and healing was a brutal and painful battle, in the front lines. My armor was honesty and my most powerful weapon was willingness. I stood still were silence screamed in agony and fear took aim. However, I still rose. Each step forward earned me a scar. My breath was a rebellion against my enemy addiction who wanted me to be claimed by death.Now ten years later I no longer have to depend on anybody or anything. I stand strong. I won the battle and celebrated my independence time and time again. I celebrated for ot...
Submitted to Contest #310
I often say "ABRACADABRA" because it means creating with words, he told me. "Its Aramaic and means I will create as I speak. You can write a new story, create a new life," his voice continues to echo in my memory. "You are the most loving person whom I have ever met,” he told me. “Control is not real, you can create with your word, pen to paper that is real.” He sat across from me and smiled. He was always smiling, so confident and calm. I just realized that he never provided his name to me. We have met for the last four months to convers ov...
Submitted to Contest #309
“The insanity,” I was walking fast and thinking even faster. I walked into the past through a door which emotional pain had locked a long time ago. Now, I swung that door wide open. I had this insane neighbor who had nothing better to do than focus on what was going on in my business. Oh, wow where is my mind going?My therapist kept asking me to breath. She said for me to walk her through my past experiences slowly. She said: "I want to learn how I can help you to heal your trauma."I am swerving between the present, the past and the future. ...
Submitted to Contest #308
Recovery, Magic, Mental -Health From an early age on, I was always interested in the mystical. Magic was and it still is the ultimate escape. It was in my late teenage years that I began studying Wicca. The craft was lots of fun, and the College was called Sacred Mists. I was a member of the Mists for ten years. Closer to the end of the ten years my addiction resurfaced, once more and I strayed off the spiritual path into the darkness of addiction. I did not return to studying Wicca, until many years later. It was one night in June of 2022...
Submitted to Contest #306
“This is the last time that I am calling you and tell you to come home.” The voice of my mother is shrieking at me. “As usual,” I think, “she is on a good one and hysterical." I stay quiet and let her scream. It's easy now because she is thousands of miles away from Los Angeles.I am sitting in our Hollywood apartment on Franklin Avenue, on the couch. My four Swedish roommates and I stole the couch out of the lobby of a building on Hollywood Boulevard. I am smiling, about the couch and what my mother would scream about knowing that the couch ...
Submitted to Contest #305
“Boarding starts in 5 minutes.” The voice over the speaker sounded muffled. I am aggravated because I am still tired, well, I am hung over from the night prior. It is only six a clock in the morning. I am still in Austria, and I am waiting to board a plane to Los Angles. My friends are sitting right across from me. We made the decision to run away from home. Our Parents did not know that we planned on never coming back.The constant arguments with my abusive mother amongst other family and social factors have finally taken its toll. I am done...
At the intersection, I could go right and head home — but turning left would take me... At the intersection, I could go right and head home - but turning left would take me to a place of no return. The tickets for the plane were in my right back pant pocket, my passport was in my handbag. It would take one second to make a different decision. Once second to choose going home over leaving a country, a continent, a so-called home. I think: "Whatever, goodbye to all the people who are not helping. I love this land, and I love the culture but t...
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