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Weekly Contest #177
I remember the first time I wanted to die. I was nine years old and we were visiting my grandparents. After dinner, my grandfather said he didn’t feel well and had to lie down in bed. They called for an ambulance. I sat on the window sill of his room and watched him while he lay there moaning. And I thought, “I guess this is what it looks like as death approaches.” And it seemed very pleasant and exciting. Later on, when I started medical school, I found that I was fascinated by the cadavers in the anatomy lab. They all seemed so peace...
(With Acknowledgement to Abbott and Costello)The Chinese contingent visiting the White House, made up of current and past leaders:Xi Jinping (Paramount Leader)Hu Jintao (Paramount Leader 2004-2013)Wen Jiabao (Premier)Hou Guofeng Wat Lien ChanYu Kuo-hwa He Zhao ZiyangThe American president is given a thorough briefing prior to such a high-level meeting to acquaint him with the very important attendees.American President: “Bob, what’s on the agenda this afternoon?”Advisor to the President: “Sir, you have a very important meeting with...
Weekly Contest #175
Isidore Beckerman relished sitting down with a good book on the weekend. He had always loved reading, favoring detective mysteries and adventures, with the occasional how-to manual or inspirational text a close second choice. Following his usual Saturday morning breakfast of oatmeal with maple syrup and a banana cut in, Isidore made himself a nice, steaming cup of coffee and ambled over to his bookshelf to peruse his extensive collection and select his next read. As he shuffled through the spines of the books, his eyes suddenly focused on...
Weekly Contest #174
There are individuals in this world whose success is predetermined. Hailing from wealthy families and spawned of experienced and wise parents, their paths in life and the trappings of their existence are paved in gold. Their only requirement to achieve success is simply to show up.Then, there is another type of individual. This is the self-made variety, those who had to work and strive for every advantage, to scrape bottom and endure hardship, power through life’s difficulties, and reach the pinnacle of success on their own.Charles Cameron w...
Mickey Murinian hated the reality of getting older. It wasn’t the aches and pains that caused him such angst. It wasn’t the difficulty playing tennis or inability to run with his grandkids that he disliked so much. It wasn’t even the fear of his own inevitable mortality that gripped his psyche. Mickey Murinian was extremely vain. And whenever he looked in the mirror, he was witness to the ravages of age. Once a fairly handsome young man, now his face was changing rapidly. He first noticed some sagging of the neck. But the neck was not ...
Weekly Contest #172
John Stenheimer wanted to kill someone. And not just anyone. He wanted to kill a Black man or a Jew. Either one would do; it didn’t really matter. As the leader of a local neo-Nazi group in a Southern state, he had to set a certain example for his followers. He had just earlier given a powerful, riveting speech to his acolytes, leading them in the chant, “Blood and soil! Blood and soil! Jews and Negros will not replace us!” John Stenheimer had all the visible requisites of a neo-Nazi. His blond hair was styled in a crewcut. He had the ...
As the horticulturist could predict the type of defective flower emanating from a diseased and desiccated seed, the life course of a man could be equally reckoned by observing his beginnings. Jim Tomlinson, a wreck of a man, had chosen the wrong parents, and thereby suffered the consequences. His father was a capricious and jealous old goat, prone to sudden explosions of violence and abuse, with alcohol often the accelerant. His mother was a broken woman, having long ago abandoned any thought of a normal, good life. Her greatest pleasures no...
Weekly Contest #170
A LAST MEAL Sentenced to hang for the murder of his wife, Frank Stemmer had not for one moment stopped proclaiming his innocence. The trial was fairly straightforward. Circumstantial evidence all pointed in his direction. Three eyewitnesses saw a man who fit Frank’s description running from the murder scene, and all three identified him in a police lineup. A smudged fingerprint on the murder weapon was a partial match. Prosecuting attorneys detailed the crime in exquisite detail, and laid out the motive quite eloquently. According to...
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