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Weekly Contest #346
1481WORDS THE HORROR and the I.V. My name is Nathan Clarke Earle, but I hate “Nathan” so I go by “Clarke”. I suppose I am a misogynist, as I am a committed bachelor. No, I am not gay. I’m also misanthropic. Had I a sense of humor, which thank the god I don’t believe in I don’t, the best description of my attitude toward others is that line from tom lehrer’s “the merry minuet: ‘and I don’t like anybody very much’”. In fact, not only do I not like people, I enjoy using my position and authority to hurt them. I...
Weekly Contest #324
“Have a lovely holiday in Sicily, sir.”, said George to histutor, Mr, Martin “I am sure we shall, young sir. Mywife is Sicilian, you see, and she has family there. Her niece isgetting married, and in Sicily, a family wedding is a commandperformance. A Sicilian wedding is nothing if not spectacular.”It will be hot there, I hope. I shall lie in the sun, drink wine,eat olives and bread dipped in oil, and let the sun bake therheumatism out of these old bones.” “I hope I shall visit itsomeday, sir” “Goodbye, George. I must say that I am fortu-nat...
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