White Haze

“Get up.”

“It’s time to get up. We must leave now Vannie.”

“Where are we going?” I whispered back to the soft voice. It beckoned me into the white haze that appeared before me.

I looked for it. The person calling my name. I saw nothing, but a light drizzle of white, almost like snow. My eyes started to hurt and stung from salty tears that began to form. I took on an anxious nature, because I could not only find the serenading voice that felt so familiar, but I also felt deeply troubled listening to its appeal.

“Please tell me who you are!” My voice did not sound like mine. This voice has not belonged to me since I grew into an adult.

My pulse quickened, as the dream stretched on, and I felt every second tick by. The air was still. Still as if the wind started to blow, the haze would consume whatever stood in the middle of it, or in its way. Presently, standing in the middle of it was me, and in the distance, somewhere, a man. His soft whispers drew me in so much that his face, being unbeknownst to me, did not matter. I simply started walking without feeling any steps I was taking. There was no sound to my steps. No wind pressing against my small, frigid body. Just my voice and his calling to me. My body had finally reached the area of the voice. I looked around, tears streaming gently down my face, ready for the intruder of my dreams to make his knightly appearance. What did his embrace feel like? Why was this stranger here? My tears were reminders that the feeling in my soul was not entirely the result of something ethereal, but also of something dark, something vile.

“Here I am,” he said from behind. I turned quickly, ready to catch the intruder.

Time froze. The appearance before me was not fully man, but a tall dark figure, the hue it emitted was that of rotten wood. He fooled me with the beautiful haze that covered the rest of my mind. He hid behind the purity of white. The dreadful odor seeping from his grotesque hanging jaw made my body convulse. I should have listened to my soul. I should have denounced the voice from the beginning. Looking into the soulless eyes of it quickened my heart, it reached out its decrepit hand.

“Please, get up. We must go. I will not hurt you. I shall help you.” The voice was still sweet, but not as sweet as the voice before it. It pointed to the purity it was previously hiding in, urging me to follow it into its hideout. I looked at my feet, daring to grab his gnarled hand and follow it into what seemed so peaceful and serene. Something that I have only ever wanted for my life. I saw an abyss below me and I was floating above it. If I did not take this monster's hand, would I fall into this abyss? For certain! I looked at him, and a crooked smile formed above me.

I knew better. I shall no longer be a fool, for I am no longer a child. I bundled my fingers together and scowled at him. Still, my breathing was rapid, still my body tightened, and still I had such an unholy feeling growing inside me. It knew my thoughts, and then its smile faded. The haze turned grey around him, but the place he was trying to lure me remained white. He grew bigger. His mouth opened wider, and his eyes fixed my chest. I heaved in, but it felt as if no air filled my lungs. I only knew I was breathing because of my rapidly rising chest. He took one step closer, and shouted, his finger now pointing to my chest, trying to touch it.

“GETTT UPPPPP!”

The voice was booming! Fear struck me. I started to tremble and uncontrollably sob, I was certain my lungs would never recover from such a cry. My wailing was loud and anyone who might have heard me would have been deeply disturbed by the guttural noises pouring out of my soul. I started my descent down the abyss where its betraying voice penetrated and echoed. I could see the white and grey hue disappearing as I furthered into my fall. It became bitterly cold, and my screams formed a stream of white air as I went down, down, and further down. My fall was in a motion where every second could be felt, as if they were hours now, and the sickness to my stomach was not from the fall itself, but from my impending doom where my most inner body would be revealed once I reached the bottom of what I now understood was a tunnel that kept narrowing. The walls closed in increasingly; I could vaguely see the walls of the tunnel. My tears would collide with the smooth walls, and I would see a twinkle of my dread as they hit.

Then I stopped. No. Not stopped. Time had slowed down even further. My screams were no longer, and yet my mouth and body were still aching from the strength of my lungs and throat letting out noise. I felt it; that thing was here. I stared up at part of the black tunnel. A gaping hole, dripping with a thick red substance, opened. The reddish hue burned my skin. The light that bored from the hole was like shards stabbing any shred of joy, peace, and love I once had within my heart. It was replaced with nothing but fear and dread. He revealed himself. Slithered out the demon, preparing itself to leap into the tunnel to claim me.

“UP!” It boomed before leaping.

A sudden gust of cold, crippling wind made me plummet faster down the tunnel. Time had started again, but this time it made every hour feel like a second. Falling above me was the figure, smiling, and blood dripping from his mouth. My tears turned to ice once they detached from my eyes into the unforgiving wind that spiraled me down with pain. I never thought that a human could endure such a wind. The snarling noise coming from his nose was fast, and air pushed out of what only could be deciphered as nostrils. The frigid air was making one thing very clear. He was hungry, not hungry for my flesh. Hungry for my allegiance, for my heart. My descent started again, with his ravenous mouth closing in on my falling body. I turned my body quickly over to see how much more of the fall I had, frightened by the demon itself, still sobbing from the deepest part of my body. Then, in a split second, the bottom.

THUMP.

My eyes opened and I sat up, drenched in sweat. My bed was hot. As if someone had poured boiling water on me while I slumbered. My nose sniffled at the cold air surrounding me, a bitter reminder of the demon that chased me within my dreams. My anxious nature did not subside when I got up and walked to my open bedroom window. How is this possible? I cannot open my one-bedroom window. My hair felt disheveled and my face and body felt as if I had aged 10 years. I looked at my hands and body, realizing I was 23 years old again. My thin, long cotton nightgown protected me from nothing. I finally paid attention to the outside scenery before me when a bitter chill of wind rested upon my face and body. Only to see white flakes drizzle from the white sky. I could not see far in the distance of the snow, but what I did see, creeping behind a white hazelwood tree, was the demon. I could hear the horses complaints of the cold from their stables. Were they complaining of the snow, or the demon? Did they feel my agony? The demon waved at me while smiling that crooked smile. I turned my attention to the other dead trees, watching the snow fall off of the branches onto the ground. I watched the snow fall onto the carriage that was parked under the building with cobblestone visible because of the roofs protection. I blinked and looked back at the white hazelwood tree. He was gone. Of course he was gone. It was a nightmare, a dream.

Jump. Jump Vannie.

No, a fall like that would kill me. I cannot always listen to my mind. It plays tricks on me. My body started to shake again. I could be free. I could confront that entity and live my life. I could know what else was out there.

“You look under the weather, dear. Are you feeling well?” The sweet, soft voice returned. This time I recognized it. The face quickly appeared and pushed me aside. Closing the window and locking it with the plethora of keys from the chain on his hips.

“Yes, I must have caught a cold, Vincent.” I turned to face my husband with nothing but numbness in my eyes. “Did you leave the window open?”

“Yes. I wanted to make sure you didn’t have any thoughts about going out there. Out into that cold, unforgiving world. You would not survive there. There is absolutely nothing out there for you. Everything you need is right here...with me.” He smiled, but his eyes remained fixed on the outside. He then turned to me with softened eyes, cusped my face, and stared into my soul with deepness. He softly tilted my head and kissed my neck.

“I should be all you need. You are all I need. You know I would never want you to feel this way, but for your safety I need you to be weak. Too weak to get up, too weak to leave, too weak to make it far. So, if you ever do try to get up and leave, I could easily take you back home. Where you belong, dear. Trust me, you will not get far. It will only be pain and suffering for you if you leave me.” His voice was almost serenading, as if everything was okay and this is simply the way life should be for us. I knew better than to protest.

He gently took my hand and guided me to my designated chair within the room. How handsome he was, how beautiful, and how caring he seemed. He could easily fool anyone with his charms. He sat me down smiling with pearly whites, his breath smelling of fresh spearmint. The room was bare and cold. He looked so appealing to look at compared to it. Nothing but a bed and my chair. My body ached; the wooden floors were so cold. I shook. He took off his coat and covered me in it. The thought of freedom being so close and I could not find it within me to jump. The thought made my eyes well with water, salty as the sea. Vincent took the soaked sheets from the bed and walked out of the room with them, locking the door behind him. My sobs became uncontrollable, how badly I want to be free. How could fear take such an opportunity from me! I heard heavy footsteps running through the house, coming closer to my room. Vincent burst through the door with new sheets and dropped them on the floor. He closed the door and locked it behind him.

“Don’t cry! You will be well. I will take care of you, darling. My darling Vannie. Vinnie loves you very very much. Do not let your mind play tricks on you. We both know how badly it affects you!” He wiped the tears from my eyes as one tear fell down his. False empathy. I stopped sobbing and just stared. Staring at a man I never thought I would grow to despise. He got up and mumbled to himself while wiping tears from his eyes. He glanced at me occasionally to give me a faint smile with reassuring eyes, then continued making the bed with extra sheets and blankets. Finally, he was done with the sheets and walked over to me. He gently scooped me out of the chair and his eyes did not part from mine. On the floor next to the bed, what I mistakenly thought was a pillowcase, was a new night slip for me to wear. He changed me into it, laid me down under the sheets, and smoothed my hair back. His eyes were cold, like the snow falling so peacefully outside. I looked into his eyes, knowing what was coming next.

“You shall never leave from here. Nor from me!” He hissed.