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“STAY FOCUSED!” Ford’s dad boomed, his yells echoing around the large rink. Ford winced, trying to ignore his dad as he went through the drills. He was so intense about Ford’s hockey career, if you could even call it that yet. Ford couldn’t help but look up to the spot where he knew his dad would be. God he was so embarrassing, yelling and punching the glass. Ford’s teammates kept shooting him sympathetic looks and all he could do was roll his eyes in return. He felt like he was never doing enough at practice when his dad was around. He couldn’t help but think maybe hockey was something his dad wanted, not necessarily what he did. Don’t get it wrong, Ford was a good player and a hard worker, in fact he was pretty sure he overworked himself sometimes. He just didn’t know what was next for him and if that involved hockey. After the team’s first grueling practice of the season Fords body felt like Jello, all he wanted was to get home and take a hot shower and sleep. Ford looked around the hallway before getting off the ice to the locker room trying to spot his dad, but thankfully it seemed that he had waited in the lobby. Ford ran into the locker room, nevertheless, making a b-line for his spot next to his friend Xavier. “Ford, I saw your dad before I got on the ice today, he told me he wanted to talk with you when you get changed.” No! He thought he was in the clear! This never ended well for Ford; he always gave into something his dad wanted. Usually, more money or something to do with hockey. “Hi to you to also do you think you could make an excuse?” This was their drill, his dad wanted to talk, Xavyer told him he was busy. “Sorry hi. And actually…” He said with a wince “I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but you really need to tell him to stop coming. And tell him to get a job, you shouldn’t have to pay for rent or food. He’s putting a lot of pressure on you. It doesn’t have to be today, but I think you should work on it” Xavyer said in one breath, bracing his hands I front of his face to block a hit. Ford rolled his eyes but inside he knew Xavyer was right. Every time he talked to his dad, he fully planned to tell him to get a life. He was in college he wasn’t a pro athlete or an ATM machine that you could just take money from at will. But something about the sadness in his eyes when he started to talk made him hold back. “He’s just been so sad since my mom passed that every time I try, I just end up telling him I’ll make him proud or something like that.” Xavier frowned, “Ok again don’t get mad but what if you went to the team therapist?” Xavyer’s words sent dread running through him, the last time he had gone to therapy was after his mom died. The old lady he had talked to made him talk about her death and what it was like to the point where Ford wanted to scream. She made him remember every gruesome detail of that car accident. The thing was, he didn’t want to remember. His last session with her, Ford had gotten up after she had once again made him cry and left, not even bothering to leave an explanation. As if Xavier knew he had hit a touchy spot, he backtracked. “Well, you know you can talk to me, but I can’t give you as good advice. If it makes you feel better, I go to therapy” He offered. Wow this person who Ford deemed perfect also had problems? “Wait you go to therapy? You seem to have your life perfectly planned out!” He chuckled. “My friend, the reason why I’m so utterly perfect is because I go to therapy! That way I’m not carrying around baggage, and I can focus better on the important things in my life, like college, hockey and my friends and family. Therapy’s not a bad thing, that’s all I’m trying to say. Maybe it’ll be good for you Ford.” Huh, Ford had never thought of that. Well, he could always leave if it was that bad, he could leave and never go again. What was the harm. “Ok yeah, I’ll do that. Just give me his info.” Immediately, Ford felt the first weight lift from his shoulders. He felt amazing and he hadn’t even gone yet! Together Ford and Xavyer left the locker room purposefully leaving through the emergency exit to avoid his dad. “Thanks again, man.” Ford said as they packed up their cars and got ready to leave the rink. Xavyer nodded and gave Ford a slap on the back. “See you at the dorms later!” The second Ford stepped into his car he pulled up the number of his new therapist and pressed call. “Ok perfect ill see you on Monday! Again, it’s great to hear from you Ford I’m excited to talk.” Ford smiled, he already liked this man, he was kind supportive and funny from the sounds of things. “Yes, same here thanks so much! See you soon, Bye!” Another weight lifted! After that the week went fast and before he knew it, he was walking into Dr. Maddens’ office. The place was nice, with a dark green rug and some soft cushions and a fluffy chair. Dr. Madden stood up from his beanbag and smiled. Something about him made all of Fords walls drop and he relaxed, letting the tension in his shoulders float away. “Why hello! So nice to see you in person Ford!” Wow, everything about this man radiated kindness and compassion. Ford put on a broad smile as he chose a cozy chair with a blanket, “Hi! It’s nice to see you too. It looks so cozy in here!” Dr. Madden smiled and got a far off look in his eyes. “Indeed, my daughter helped me design it.” he chuckled remembering something. “She insisted on it having multiple places to sit and for it to be as cozy as possible.” Dr. Madden sighed, “All right enough about me, what about you.” Ford took a breath and told himself for the twentieth time that day if he felt uneasy, he could leave. “Ok well for starters, I have been through some bad therapists, so I’ll be honest. I’m nervous, but that’s not why I came. I want to talk about my dad.” Dr. Madden nodded encouragingly so Ford continued. “Last year, my mom and I were driving to the library. She always loved books so when she came to watch my first collage game, I took her to the one I had found on campus.” Dr. Madden smiled “It seems your mom was in influential part of your life! That’s wonderful. “Yeah, she was the best. Anyway, we spent hours there and lost track of time reading. It was dark when we left, probably about 8:00 at night. We had almost made it to the hotel she was staying at when a car sped right through the red light and slammed straight into the side of our car. My mom got the full blow since the car had hit her side, and we went rolling into a dich. The first thing I remember when my vision cleared was her slumped over the steering wheel. Her airbag hadn’t gone off! I tried to help but I couldn’t move. I felt so helpless! All I could do was watch her lay there!” Ford felt hot tears start to roll down his face and Dr. Madden handed him a box of tissues that he gladly took. “I can see this is a hard thing for you to talk about so we can take a break if you need.” Ford shook his head. Really, he did want a break but if he stopped now, he probably wouldn’t be able to start again. “That’s ok I can push through. To continue, When I woke up again, I found myself connected to tubes. I tried my best to get up but as you can imagine it was difficult. I finally got the strength to call a nurse to see where my dad was and if my mom was ok. Apparently, they had called my dad, but he said it was too long of a drive. I couldn’t believe it! He had been too lazy to drive thirty minutes and come to see us in the hospital. And for my mom, she was pronounced dead. They had tried everything, but it was too late.” Fords brow furrowed, remembering that terrible night. He was alone in a hospital, his mom was dead, and his dad was too lazy to come and console him. “That must have been terrible for you! I can’t imagine the level of grief you felt. Now if you don’t mind, I have just one question, did your dad know that she had died when he decided not to come?” Ford thought about this, he had never really asked. “I guess not, I think he blames himself for not being there though. Like if he had come, she would still be here. I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t come with mt mom to the game though. He never came to any of my games no matter how much my mom tried.” Dr. Madden frowned, thinking. “Well, it seems that he regrets not coming to games as you mentioned, he doesn’t want to miss a thing. He just wants to make every game for the rest of his life because he thinks it will make up for the times he didn’t come. He wants to support you, but I think he doesn’t know how to show it.” Ford nodded, he was right. Ford just needed to tell his dad that. Suddenly a bell chimed on Dr. Maddens’ phone, “Would you look at that! My how the time did fly, our session is over my friend.” They both stood and said their goodbyes. “Thank you so much this really helped a lot sir! I really needed to say that out loud and get it off my chest!” Wow, another weight lifted. At this point Ford wouldn’t be surprised if he levitated off the ground. “Of course, Ford and thank you for trusting me.” After that, Ford visited Dr. Madden every week. Together they unpacked his problems. Sometimes big ones like his dad stealing his money, or little ones like classes and hockey. When Ford made it to his car after the seventh month of going to therapy, he decided that today after his practice he would talk to his dad. In the locker room before practice, Ford told Xavyer how therapy had gone and his plan to talk to his dad. “Ok man but just let me know how it goes” Xavyer said. Ford smiled, of course he would be the first one to hear. He would tell Dr. Madden at their session on Monday. Together they got up and made their way on the ice, Ford using his new technique to tune out his dad right away. Woah it worked, he was playing the best he had ever done and he felt amazing! But of course, practice had to end. Ford quickly changed and waved goodbye to his team. The second he stepped out of the locker room; he went to search for his father. He immediately found him waiting by the front doors. He grabbed Fords arm, as if afraid he would run “Let’s talk get in my car.” His harsh words sending a prickle down Fords back. “Ok but this time I’ll do the talking.” Ford hissed back, evidently surprising his father. When they made it to his dad’s car, they stepped inside without a word. When they were settled Ford blurted all he was feeling out at once. This was not how he planned it to go; in fact, he had made a speech in his head. He continued anyway. He told his dad about the amount of pressure he was putting on his shoulders, how he was taking money that Ford needed for college for his own benefit. He didn’t even stop when he talked about his mom and saw tears running down his dad’s face. Then he hit him with what had been the heaviest weight he carried. “And dad, I know this may be hard to hear and I know this is what you wanted ever since mom… well for a long time. I don’t think I want to go into the NHL when I am ellegable. I want to finish college and maybe become a sports psychologist. I want to help people with their mental health and make them better people as well as athletes. And I know you wanted me to make a ton of money so you could never work again and live off me like a lech. And I’m telling you tough luck. So, I understand if you are disappointed…” Ford looked up from a very interesting spot on the seat and was fully expecting sadness or regret oh is dads face. Instead, all he could see was pure anger and rage. “Get out of my car!” He screamed, startling Ford. What! Of all things he had expected, it hadn’t been this! “You know what! Get out of my life! All I do is support you! I tried to make up for lost time, and you tell me I’m too much. I borrowed some cash for rent and you say I stole! The number of things I had to pay for and make sacrifices for you in your life! You are indebted to me son! The least you could have done is get a decent job! I could have done that if it weren’t for my knee! Do you know how many people would be dying to be in your position right now!” Fords face had gone ashen, he could only think of one thing to say. “Wow thanks again for your love and support dad,” He said in a mocking tone “I hope you survive without me.” And with that Ford opened the door and left not once looking back at the damage he caused. Later, his dad tried to call, and Ford hung up every single time. Finaly his father resorted to texting. The last thing he ever said to his dad before blocking him and moving on to do great things was, “You get what you give dad, Now you can get out of my life.”